Part 56 (2/2)

”On the train running into Tulsa,” wrote a gadder, ”a native was fooling with the roller curtain, when suddenly it flew up with a snap. He looked bewildered, stuck his head out of the window, and finally said to himself, 'Well, I reckon that's the last they'll see of _that_ derned thing!'”

As we have been informed, and as we repeat for the benefit of the School of Journalism, there is nothing to running a column except the knack of writing more or less apt headlines. And so for the instruction of students whose ambition may be vaulting in that direction we will reopen a short court in head-writing. See what you can do with the divorce suit of Hazel Nutt against John P. Nutt, filed in a Florida court.

As to the divorce suit of Hazel Nutt vs. John P. Nutt, M. M. C. offers, ”Shucks!”

Another happy headline for the Nutt vs. Nutt divorce suit, suggested by Battle Creek: ”Two Nutts Will Soon Be Loose.”

The hand-painted baby-blue pencil for the best headline last week goes to the artist on the San Francisco Chronicle for the following:

”Prehistoric Skulls Found Digging Wells.”

We see by the paper--our favorite medium of information--that Duluth is to have an evening of ”wrestling and dance.” A keen eye can probably tell the difference.

The drawn-work decanter, prize for the best headline for the Nutt vs.

Nutt divorce case, is awarded to G. C. H. for his inspiration, ”Nutts for the Lawyers.”

LIMERIK.

There was a young man from Art Creek Who went around dressed in Batik.

When they asked, ”Are you well?”

He replied, ”Ain't it h.e.l.l?

But in Art it's the very last shriek.”

Received by a Missouri teacher: ”Please excuse Frank for being absent. I kneaded him at home.” In the woodshed? Ouch, Maw!

How could the teacher rebuke Emil when she read this excuse from his father? ”The only excuse I have for Emil being late was nine o'clock came sooner than we expected.”

For our part, we are moved to protest against the growing practice among parents of rebuking their children for playing with the children of prohibitionists. We should not visit upon the little ones the sins of their intemperate progenitors.

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