Part 10 (2/2)

[From the Dallas Bulletin.]

We quote Miss Burroughs: ”I don't think B. L. T. is so good any more--it takes an intelligent person to comprehend his meaning half the time.”

The world is running short of carbonic acid, the British a.s.sociation is told by Prof. Petrie. ”The decomposition of a few more inches of silicates over the globe will exhaust the minute fraction of carbonic acid that still remains, and life will then become impossible.” But cheer up. The Boston Herald a.s.sures us that ”there is no immediate cause of alarm.” Nevertheless we are disturbed. We had figured on the sun growing cold, but if we are to run out of carbonic acid before the sun winds up its affairs, a little worry will not be amiss. However, everybody will be crazy as a hatter before long, so what does it matter?

Ten years ago Forbes Winslow wrote, after studying the human race and the lunacy statistics of a century: ”I have no hesitation in stating that the human race has degenerated and is still progressing in a downward direction. We are gradually approaching, with the decadence of youth, a near proximity to a nation of madmen.”

AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID.

[Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.]

”_The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood._”

--Full-page advt.

I think that I shall never see Aught lovely as a pulpwood tree.

A tree that grows through sunny noons To furnish sporting page cartoons.

A tree whose fibre and whose pith Will soon be Gumps by Sidney Smith,

And make to smile and eke _ha ha!_ go The genial people of Chicago.

A tree whose grace, toward heaven rising, Men macerate for advertising--

A tree that lifts her arms and laughs To be made into paragraphs....

How enviable is that tree That's growing pulp for B. L. T.

”Remake the World” is a large order--too large for statesmen. Two lovers underneath the Bough may remake the world, remold it nearer to the heart's desire--or come as near to it as possible; but not a gathering of political graybeards. For better or worse the world is made; all we can do is modify it here and there.

THE SECOND POST

[A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]

Madam: A few days ago I were happy enough to meet Mrs. J. Hansley and she told me that you migh possible want to engauge a lady to work for you. I am swede, in prime of like, in superb health, queite of habits, and can handle a ordinary house. I can give references as to characktar. If you want me would you kindly write and state wadges. Or if you don't, would you do a stranger a favour and put me in thuch wit any friend that want help. I hold a very good situation in a way, but I am made to eat in the kitchen and made to feel in every way that I am a inferior. I dont like that. I dont want a situation of that kind. They are kind to me most sertainly in a way, but as I jused to be kind to my favorite saddle horse. I dont want that kind of soft soap. Yours very respecktfully, etc.

A WISCONSIN PARABLE.

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