Volume II Part 40 (2/2)
”She did not address one word to you”
”I had refused to be introduced to her, and she punishednot to know that I was present”
The countessanother word At her door a very ceremonious curtesy, with these words, ”Adieu, sir!” warned o any further I had no wish to do so, and went away dreaularity of the adventure, the end of which I longed to see
EPISODE 8 -- CONVENT AFFAIRS
CHAPTER XVI
Countess Coronini--A Lover's Pique--Reconciliation--The First Meeting--A Philosophical Parenthesis
My beautiful nun had not spoken to lad of it, for I was so astonished, so coiven her a very poor opinion ofanshich I should very likely have given to her questions I knew her to be certain that she had not to fear the hue in running the risk of it in her position I could hardly understand her boldness, and I could not conceive how she contrived to enjoy so oing to Venice to sup with a young , and I decided in ed lover whose pleasure it was toher caprices It is true that such a thought was rather unpleasant to my pride, but there was too much piquancy in the adventure, the heroine of it was too attractive, for me to be stopped by any considerations I saw very well that I was taking the high road to become unfaithful to ht and will, but Ichild, I felt no qualms of conscience It seemed to me that an infidelity of that sort, if she ever heard of it, would not displease her, for that short excursion on strange ground would only keep ood condition for her, because it would saveme
I had been presented to the celebrated Countess Coronini by a nun, a relative of M Dandolo That countess, who had been very handso ues which had been the study of her whole life, had sought a retreat in the Convent of St Justine, in the hope of finding in that refuge the calust of society had rendered necessary to her As she had enjoyed a very great reputation, she was still visited at the convent by all the foreign ambassadors and by the first noblemen of Venice; inside of the walls of her convent the countess was acquainted with everything that happened in the city She always receivedreeable lessons inquite certain to find out fro M---- M----, I decided on paying her a visit the day after I had seen the beautiful nun
The countess gave s which it is the custo is spoken, I led the conversation up to the convents of Venice We spoke of the wit and influence of a nun called Celsi, who, although ugly, had an i Weand lovely Sister Michali, who had taken the veil to prove to her ence and wit After speaking of several other nuns who had the reputation of being addicted to gallantry, I na that most likely she deserved that reputation likewise, but that she was an enigma The countess answered with a sh she was necessarily so for most people
”What is incomprehensible,” she said, ”is the caprice that she took suddenly to beco handsome, rich, free, well-educated, full of wit, and, to e, a Free-thinker She took the veil without any reason, physical or moral; it was a mere caprice”
”Do you believe her to be happy, madam?”
”Yes, unless she has repented her decision, or if she does not repent it soh never to say so to anyone”
Satisfied by the mysterious air of the countess that M---- M---- had a lover, Iput on ate of the convent I rang the bell, and with an anxious heart I asked for M---- M---- in the na closed, the attendant pointed out to o I went in, took offforfuriously; I aiting with great impatience; yet that expectation was not without char of the interview An hour passed pretty rapidly, but I began then to find the ti that, perhaps, the attendant had not rightly understoodthe bell, and enquired whether notice of iven to Sister M---- M---- A voice answered affirain, and a few minutes afterwards an old, toothless nun caed for the whole day Without giving le word, the woman left the parlour This was one of those terrible moments to which the man orshi+ps at the shrine of the God of love is exposed! They are indeed cruelfearful sorrow, they raced, my first sensation was utter contee; the second was disdainful indignation against the nun, upon whoht she deserved, and which was the only way I had to soothe rief Such behaviour proclai in good sense; for the two letters she had written to h to ruin her character if I had wished to revengeelse froeful feelings, and I should certainly have thought that she was insane if I had not heard her converse with the countess
Tis calives lucidity to the mind At last I persuaded myself that what had occurred was after all in no way extraordinary, and that I would certainly have considered it at first a very common occurrence if I had not been dazzled by the wonderful beauty of the nun, and blinded by my own vanity As a very natural result I felt that I was at liberty to laugh at uess whether enuine or only counterfeit Sophisu ele deteruilty of such a bad practical joke the slightest cause of triue not to shew any vexation She had sent word tomore natural; the part I had to play was to appear indifferent ”Most likely she will not be engaged another time,” I said to ain I h at her uncivil behaviour” Of course I intended to send back her letters, but not without the accoallantry of which was not likely to please her
The worse part of the affair forher not to be aware of ine that the only object offor her conduct and of appointing a newI wanted her to entertain no doubt of my utter contempt for her person, and I felt certain that she had proposed the other s in Venice and at the casino of Muran only to deceive reat thirst for revenge, I fell asleep thinking of it, and I aith the resolution of quenching it I began to write, but, as I wished particularly that my letter should not show the pique of the disappointed lover, I left it on ain the next day It proved a useful precaution, for when I read it over, twenty-four hours afterwards, I found it unworthy of me, and tore it to pieces It contained some sentences which savoured too much of my weakness,her, would only have given her occasion to laugh at me
On the Wednesday after I had written to C---- C---- that very serious reasons coive up my visits to the church of her convent, I wrote another letter to the nun, but on Thursday it had the same fate as the first, because upon a second perusal I found the same deficiencies It see
Ten days afterwards I found out that I was too deeply in love to have the power of expressing s of my heart
'Sincerium est nisi vas, quodcunque infundis acescit'
The face of M---- M---- hadcould possibly obliterate it except the all-powerful influence of time