Volume I Part 36 (2/2)
I went on speaking for a long time; Bellino did not answer, but he seemed deeply moved At last I told him that, in the fearful state to which I was reduced by his resistance, I should be cos, and find out the truth by force He answered with nity: ”Recollect that you are not my master, that I am in your hands, because I had faith in your prouilty of et out of the carriage, and youof your treatment”
Those feords were followed by a torrent of tears, a sight which I never could resist I felt myself ht that I had been wrong I say almost, because, had I been convinced of it, I would have throwndull and silent, and I never uttered one word until ere only half a lia, where I intended to take supper and to reh with ht have spent a little tiood friends, if you had felt any friendshi+p for me, for, with a little kind compliance, you could have easily cured me of my passion”
”It would not cure you,” answered Bellino, courageously, but with a sweetness of tone which surprised me; ”no, you would not be cured, whether you found me to be man or woman, for you are in love with me independently of my sex, and the certainty you would acquire would make you furious In such a state, should you find ive way to excesses which would afterwards cause you deep sorrow”
”You expect to ht, but you are completely mistaken, for I feel that I should re with ain ain that you would become furious”
”Bellino, that which has ht of your char, the power of which you cannot affect to ignore You have not been afraid to ignite my amorous fury, how can you expect me to believe you nohen you pretend to fear it, and when I a, which, if it be as you say, will only disgust ust you; I airl, I feel I could not resist loving you, but, being a rant what you desire, for your passion, now very natural, would then becoer than your reason, and your reason itself would easily come to the assistance of your senses and of your nature That violent clearing-up of the mystery, were you to obtain it, would leave you deprived of all control over yourself Disappointed in not finding what you had expected, you would satisfy your passion upon that which you would find, and the result would, of course, be an aboent as you are, flatter yourself that, finding me to be a man, you could all at once cease to love me? Would the charms which you now see in me cease to exist then? Perhaps their poould, on the contrary, be enhanced, and your passion, becoination suggested to gratify it You would persuade yourself that you ht change yourself into one Your passion would invent a thousand sophisms to justify your love, decorated with the fine appellation of friendshi+p, and you would not fail to allege hundreds of si cases in order to excuse your conduct You would certainly never find me compliant; and how am I to know that you would not threatenof the sort would happen, Bellino,” I answered, rather tired of the length of his argu your fears Yet I am bound to tell you that, even if all you say should happen, it seems to me that to allohat can strictly be considered only as a temporary fit of insanity, would prove a less evil than to render incurable a disease of the mind which reason would soon cut short”
Thus does a poor philosopher reason when he takes it into his head to argue at those periods during which a passion raging in his soul makes all its faculties wander To reason well, we er, for those two passions have one thing in common which is that, in their excess, they lower us to the condition of brutes acting only under the influence of their predo instinct, and, unfortunately, we are never ue than e feel ourselves under the influence of either of those terful huht, and I went to the best inn, and, after choosing a comfortable room, ordered supper As there was but one bed in the room, I asked Bellino, in as calhted in another chained when he answered quietly that he had no objection to sleep in the same bed with me Such an answer, however, unexpected, was necessary to dispel the angry feelings under which I was labouring I guessed that I was near the denoue myself, for I did not knohether the denouereeable or not I felt, however, a real satisfaction at having conquered, and was sure of my self-control, in case the senses, my natural instinct, led ht I could expect the most precious favours
We sat down to supper opposite each other, and during the meal, his words, his countenance, the expression of his beautiful eyes, his sweet and voluptuous sh of playing a part which ht was lifted off ed to shorten the supper as much as possible As soon as we had left the table, ht-la in following him, and the reader will soon know the nature of a denoue to wish hi me
CHAPTER XII
Bellino's History--I Aainst My Will--My Return To Rina
Dear reader, I said enough at the end of the last chapter to e would be powerful enough tobeing had in store for me She ca one word our lips met, and I found myself in the ecstasy of enjoyment before I had had time to seek for it After so coained froive me more certainty than I had already obtained? I could not take aze off that beautiful face, which was all aflame with the ardour of love
After a hted up in our veins a fresh conflagration which we drowned in a sea of new delights Bellino felt bound to s, and to reward me by an ardour equal to the fire kindled by her charave her increased mine twofold, for it has always been my weakness to compose the four-fifths of ave the char e which can still receive pleasure, but can no longer give enjoye, because it is its most cruel enemy
An interval of repose became necessary, in consequence of the activity of our enjoyment Our senses were not tired out, but they required the rest which renews their sensitiveness and restores the buoyancy necessary to active service
Bellino was the first to break our silence
”Dearest,” she said, ”are you satisfied now? Have you found ? Ah! traitress that you are! Do you, then, confess that I was notwoman? And if you truly loved me, tell me how you could contrive to defer your happiness and ? But is it quite certain that I did not make a mistake?”
”I ahtful survey! what char beauties! what an ocean of enjoyment! But I could not find any trace of the protuberance which had so usted me
”What has become,” I said, ”of that dreadful monstrosity?”