Volume I Part 37 (1/2)
”Listen to
”My name is Therese My father, a poor clerk in the Institute of Bologna, had let an apartment in his house to the celebrated Sali and handsome, he became attached to me, and I felt flattered by his affection and by the praise he lavished upon e; he proposed to teachthat I had a fine voice, he cultivated it carefully, and in less than a year I could accompany myself on the harpsichord His reas that which his love for ranted the reithout feeling any humiliation, for I worshi+pped him Of course, men like yourself are much above men of his species, but Salimberi was an exception His beauty, his manners, his talent, and the rare qualities of his soul, made him superior in my eyes to all the men I had seen until then He was enerous, and I doubt whether he could have found a wo seduced any The mutilation practised upon his body had el by his rare qualities and endow a boy of the sae as myself, as in Rimini with a music teacher The father of the boy, as poor and had a large fa his unfortunate son maimed so that he should become the support of his brothers with his voice The naood woman whom you have just seen in Ancona was his mother, and everybody believes that she is ed to Salimberi for about a year, when he announced tobitterly, that he was coo to Roain The news threwfor the continuation ofhimself for his departure, my father died very suddenly, after a short illness, and I was left an orphan
”Salih to resist my tears and my entreaties; he made up his mind to take me to Ri 'protege' was educated We reached Rimini, and put up at an inn; after a short rest, Salimberi left me to call upon the teacher ofsad and unhappy; Bellino had died the day before
”As he was thinking of the grief which the loss of the young man would cause hisna under the nae forvery poor, would find it to her advantage to keep the secret 'I will give her,' he said, 'everything necessary for the completion of your musical education, and in four years, I will take you to Dresden (he was in the service of the Elector of Saxony, King of Poland), not as a girl, but as a castrato
There ill live together without giving anyone cause for scandal, and you will remain with me and minister to my happiness until I die All we have to do is to represent you as Bellino, and it is very easy, as nobody knows you in Bologna Bellino's mother will alone know the secret; her other children have seen their brother only when he was very young, and can have no suspicion But if you love me you must renounce your sex, lose even the rena, dressed as a boy, and under the name of Bellino You must be very careful lest anyone should find out that you are a girl; you must sleep alone, dress yourself in private, and when your bosom is forht a defor you, I will give you a small instrument, and teach how to fix it in such manner that, if you had at any time to submit to an examination, you would easily be mistaken for a man If you accept ether in Dresden without losing the good graces of the queen, who is very religious Tell me, nohether you will accept my proposal?
”He could not entertain any doubt of my consent, for I adored hina, where we arrived late in the evening A little gold ave her the na me her dear son Salimberi left us, and returned a short time afterwards with the instruht me, in the presence of um, and I found hed at it, had not rieved at the departure of my beloved Salimberi, for he bade me farewell as soon as the curious operation was cos; I do not believe in the of evil, which alave me his farewell kiss, did not deceive hat him for the last time, and I fainted away Alas! my fears proved only too prophetic
Salio in the Tyrol in the prime of life, with the calmness of a true philosopher His death co with the assistance of iveable to take reed to do so, for I did not feel sufficient energy to decide upon any other plan In the meantime she accepted an offer for the Ancona Theatre, and Petronio took the part of first female dancer; in this e played the comedy of 'The World Turned Upside Down'
”After Salimberi, you are the only man I have known, and, if you like, you can restore ive up the name of Bellino, which I hate since the death of ins to inconvenience me I have only appeared at two theatres, and each tirading exaht to have too irl, and I aht conviction Until now, fortunately, I have had to deal only with old priests who, in their good faith, have been satisfied with a very slight examination, and have ht fall into the hands of so abbe, and the test would then become a more severe one Besides, I find s: those who, like you, cannot and will not believe me to be apropensities, are delighted at eous to suppose me so The last particularly annoy me! Their tastes are so infamous, their habits so low, that I fear I shall er control the rage in which their obscene language throws enerous; and, if you love radation! Take me with you I do not ask to become your wife, that would be too much happiness; I will only be your friend, your mistress, as I would have been Salimberi's; my heart is pure and innocent, I feel that I can reh my whole life Do not abandon me The love I have for you is sincere; my affection for Saliratitude, and it is only with you that I have felt myself truly a woman”
Her emotion, an inexpressible charm which seemed to flow from her lips and to enforce conviction, made me shed tears of love and sy from her beautiful eyes, and deeply moved, I promised not to abandon her and to make her the sharer of ular as extraordinary, that she had just narrated, and having seen nothing in it that did not bear the stamp of truth, I felt really disposed to make her happy but I could not believe that I had inspired her with a very deep passion during ht, on the contrary, have had an opposite effect upon her heart
”If you loved me truly,” I said, ”how could you let me sleep with your sisters, out of spite at your resistance?”
”Alas, dearest! think of our great poverty, and how difficult it was for me to discover myself I loved you; but was it not natural that I should suppose your inclination for o so easily froht that you would treat me in the same manner as soon as your desires were satisfied, I was likewise confirmed in my opinion of your want of constancy and of the little importance you attached to the delicacy of the sentiment of love, when I witnessed what you did on board the Turkish vessel without being hindered bypresent would have made you uncomfortable I feared to be soon despised, and God kno , in many different ways, but my heart pleaded in your favour, because I knew you were excited, angry, and thirsting for revenge Did you not threaten htened ave myself to you out of fear No, I had made up my mind to be yours from the moment you sent me word by Cecilia that you would takea part of our journey confirht I could trust myself to your honour, to your delicacy”
”Throw up,” I said, ”the engagement you have in Ri a couple of days in Bologna, you will go with me to Venice; dressed as a woer here to find you out”
”I accept Your will shall always be ive myself to you without any reserve or restriction; s to you, and I trust to keep yours”
Man has in himself a moral force of action which alwaysI had obtained everything, I wanted more ”Shew me,” I said, ”how you hen I ot out of bed, opened her trunk, took out the instruuenuity of the contrivance My curiosity was satisfied, and I passed a ht in her ar, I ad: all I knew of her came back tos so full of delicacy, and her misfortunes, the heaviest of which must have been the false character she had been compelled to assu strengthened my resolution to ht be, or to follow her fate, for our positions were very nearly the sa truly to attach ive to our union the sanction of religion and of law, and to take her legally for then our love, increase our mutual esteem, and insure the approbation of society which could not accept our union unless it was sanctioned in the usual manner
The talents of Therese precluded the fear of our being ever in want of the necessaries of life, and, although I did not knoay ht be ht have been lessened, she would have enjoyed too great advantages over nity would have too deeply suffered if I had allowed ht, after a tier thinking herself under any obligation to , instead of the protected party, and I felt that my love would soon have turned into utter conte such thoughts Although I trusted it would not be so, I wanted, before taking the ie, to probe her heart, and I resolved to try an experis of her inmost soul As soon as she ake, I spoke to her thus:
”Dearest Therese, all you have told me leaves me no doubt of your love forthe ree, that I a to convince you that you were notthat you had entirely conquered me I wish to prove to you that I am worthy of the noble confidence you have reposed inyou with equal sincerity
”Our heartsof perfect equality I know you, my dearest Therese, but you do not know me yet I can read in your eyes that you do notplaces reat an advantage over me I feel certain that my confidence is not necessary to your love; that you only care to be mine, that your only wish is to possess my heart, and I admire you, my Therese; but I should feel humiliated if I found myself either too much above or too much below you You have entrusted your secrets to in, pro that concerns e has taken place either in your feelings or in your hopes”
”I pro fro that is not perfectly true, for I warn you that it would be useless If you tried any artifice in order to find me less worthy of you than I a yourself in uilty of any cunning towards me Have no more suspicion of me than I have of you; tell me the whole truth”
”Here it is You suppose me wealthy, and I am not so; as soon as what there is now inleft You may fancy that I was born a patrician, but my social condition is really inferior to your own I have no lucrative talents, no profession, nothing to giveI have neither relatives nor friends, nor claims upon anyone, and I have no serious plan or purpose before ence, honour, honesty, and so my own master, perfectly independent, and not afraid of ance Lovely Therese, you have my portrait What is your answer?”
”In the first place, dearest, let me assure you that I believe every word you have just uttered, as I would believe in the Gospel; in the second, allow ed you such as you have just described yourself, but far froe of your nature, I was only afraid of some illusion on ht you to be In one word, dear one, if it is true that you are poor and a very bad hand at econohted, because, if you love me, you will not refuse a present fro it The present consists of ive myself to you without any condition, with no restriction; I am yours, I will take care of you For the future think only of your love for er Bellino Let us go to Venice, where o anywhere else, let us go where you please”
”I o to Constantinople”