Part 9 (1/2)

Scene: _Fas.h.i.+onable Auction Rooms. A Picture Sale._--

_Amateur Collector_ (_after taking advice of Expert No. 1, addresses Expert No. 2_). ”What do you think of the picture? I am advised to buy it. Is it not a fine t.i.tian?”

_Expert No. 2_ (_wis.h.i.+ng to please both parties_). ”I don't think you can go far wrong, for anyhow, if it isn't a t.i.tian it's a repe-t.i.tion.”]

ANOTHER PARCEL OF PROVERBS

If the cap fits, wear it--out.

Six of one, and half-a-dozen of the other--make exactly twelve.

None so deaf as those who won't hear--hear! hear!

Faint heart never won fair lady--nor dark one either.

Civility costs nothing--nay, is something to your credit.

The best of friends must part--their hair.

Any port in a storm--but old port preferred.

One good turn deserves another--in waltzing.

Youth at the prow and pleasure at the helm--very sea-sick.

”LEADING STRINGS.”--Those of a first violin in an orchestra.

TOBACCO STOPPERS.--Men who stay to smoke.

SMOKER'S PROVERB.--It's an ill weed that blows n.o.body any good.

A _TIDY_ DRINK.--_Neat_ brandy.

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Amateur_ ”_Minimus Poet_” (_who has called at the office twice a week for three months_). ”Could you use a little poem of mine?”

_Editor_ (_ruthlessly determined that this shall be his final visit_).