Volume Vi Part 65 (1/2)

SIMPLICITY.

Cus.h.i.+ons? Alas! it were pity to sit on such fine cus.h.i.+ons. But come, my boys, if you'll buy any of my wares, here's my stall, and I'll open and show straight.

WEALTH.

What dainty fine ballad have you now to be sold?

SIMPLICITY.

Marry, child, I have _Chipping-Norton, a mile from Chapel o' th' Heath --a lamentable ballad of burning the Pope's dog; the sweet ballad of the Lincolns.h.i.+re bagpipes_[238]; and _Peggy and w.i.l.l.y:--But now he is dead and gone: Mine own sweet w.i.l.l.y is laid in his grave. La, la, la, lan ti dan derry, dan da dan, lan ti dan, dan tan derry, dan do_.

WIT.

It is a doleful discourse, and sung as dolefully.

SIMPLICITY.

Why, you cannot mend it, can ye?

WIT.

What will you lay on that? for I myself dare lay six groats to six of your bald ballads, that you yourself shall say I sing better than you.

SIMPLICITY.

What a brag-boy is this, to comparison with a man! But, boy, boy, I will not lay six ballads to six groats, but I will lay six ballads to six jerks at your b.u.t.tocks, that you shall not sing so well as I.

WIT.

That I shall not? No! possible, you will not let me sing?

SIMPLICITY.

I not let you! Is that spoken like Wit? It is spoken like a woodc.o.c.k: how can I stay thee, if thou wilt sing out thy throat?

WIT.

Well, then, to our bargain: six ballads to six stripes, and who shall keep stakes?

SIMPLICITY.

Neither of your companions; for that's, ask my fellow, if I be a thief.

WILL.

Will you keep the stakes yourself?

SIMPLICITY.

Best of all, for I mean plainly, and will pay, if I lose. Here's my six ballads: they be ready. Now, how shall I come by your six stripes, boy?

WIT.

Down with your breeches, I'll fetch a rod and deliver them straight.

SIMPLICITY.

Nay, then, I care not, if thou keep stakes.

WIT.

You speak too late, gaffer, having challenged preheminence.

SIMPLICITY.

Then, let's lay no wager, but sing for good fellows.h.i.+p.

WIT.