Part 19 (1/2)

”Well.” Miss Patty gave Tessa a look br.i.m.m.i.n.g with amus.e.m.e.nt. ”That's a very optimistic viewpoint from a man who, until recently, didn't really believe in all that lovey-dovey stuff.”

”I'm a changed man,” Johnny declared, and Tessa knew it was true.

Oh, he'd always been a good man. The best of men, her own personal hero. But there was a lightness to Johnny now, a happiness, that he'd never had before. It warmed her down to her bones to think that she was a part of that. She never wanted to do anything to dim that light.

That made it hard to do what had to be done, but it was time.

”Johnny. I adore you for how much you believe love conquers all-believe me, nothing makes me happier than to hear you say that. But ... we need to talk.”

Chapter 23.

Instantly realizing how dire that sounded, Tessa tried to laugh. ”I mean, there are things we need to talk about! Not, like ... we need to talk.”

”What kinds of things?” Johnny asked, pausing in the act of pouring himself a finger of bourbon.

”The kinds of things that I'm afraid won't just work themselves out, no matter how much we love each other.” Tessa bit her lip, hoping she didn't sound like she was angry. She wasn't-but this conversation did mean a lot to her. She felt a little tongue-tied and emotional, Johnny was looking at her with wary concern darkening his beautiful eyes ... and Miss Patty was hauling herself up off the love seat.

”Well,” Patty said loudly. ”I think I'll go take me a stroll around my garden. A garden at dusk is a joy to be savored, my mama always said. Call me in for dinner, won't you? If dinner ever happens.”

The last bit was mumbled on her way out the door, and Tessa had to laugh, although it felt strained. ”Poor Patty. All these fighting couples, forcing her out of her own house.”

Johnny set his gla.s.s down and crossed the carpet to take her hands in his. ”Are we fighting? I don't want to fight with you, honey.”

”I don't want to fight, either,” she said firmly, gazing up into the face she loved best in the world. ”But we do need to talk. About what happens next.”

”What happens next is that we get married, for real this time, in front of the people who love you. The way you deserve.”

They were technically still married, Tessa knew, since the divorce papers had been destroyed before they were ever made official, but she didn't argue the point. This would be their real wedding ceremony, the one they would remember for the rest of their lives, and they were both treating it that way.

But she couldn't let all of it go by without comment. ”Us, Johnny. They love us, the people here. You as much as me.”

Johnny smiled indulgently and brought her hands up to press a scratchy kiss against her knuckles. She could tell he didn't really believe her, but it was true. Patty had been a fan from the beginning, but she'd delivered her unabashed approval of Johnny in the past few weeks. Marcus was well on the way to becoming a true friend, now that the two of them had worked out their issues in whatever macho male way made sense to them. They were putting down roots here, on Sanctuary Island. Both of them were. But how could she make Johnny see that? How could she hope he would value that over returning to his job at the ATF?

If their work together with Dr. Voss had taught Tessa anything, it was that a lot of their problems had come from keeping silent. Speaking up might be harder, it might start a fire that would be hard to put out, but it cleared the air and made new growth possible. So she took a deep breath and said, ”I don't want to go back to D.C. I want to live here, with you, after we're married. I know that makes things hard for you, with your job-”

”I quit.”

Tessa froze, her world rocked to the core. ”You what?”

”I called Brad a week ago, and I resigned from the bureau.” Johnny shrugged, but his eyes were sharp and watchful, waiting for her reaction. ”I was going to tell you as a wedding present, but if you're worrying about it, I'd rather tell you now and ease your mind. Besides, I have something else in the works, that I'm hoping I can make happen as your wedding gift.”

Shaking her head, Tessa tried to take it in. ”You left the ATF. Johnny, I don't know what to say. You love that job.”

”I love you. And this is where your life is. So this is where I want to be.”

The words floored her. Not just the words themselves, but the certainty with which he uttered them. Overcome, Tessa dropped her head to his chest and simply breathed in the soap-and-leather scent of the man she loved.

The man who was rearranging his entire life for her.

Even though it was everything she'd wanted, guilt rose up to stifle her. ”You didn't have to do that, Johnny. We could have figured something out together.”

”You uprooted your entire life to follow me wherever my career led us for years,” Johnny pointed out. ”Some people might say it's your turn. But that's not even the main reason.”

Tessa tilted her head up to look at him. ”Oh?”

He paused, long enough to make Tessa wonder what he was about to reveal.

”I don't regret the work I did with the ATF. It was good work, and I know I did some good in the world. But I think it's time for me to figure out who I am when I'm not obsessed with trying to save everyone in the world all the time. That's an impossible goal, and it was driving me slowly crazy. I want to narrow my focus for a while-maybe try to save myself first. See if I can keep your heart safe. Work at the bar, take care of Patty and Quinn and Marcus-not that he'd admit he needs it. And who knows? Maybe we'll add a person or two to our little family as we go along.”

Tessa's heart popped like a firecracker, whirling light and sparks and joy. ”I like that idea. I like it a lot.”

Sliding a hand into her hair, Johnny smiled, slow and wolfish. ”Maybe we should skip dinner and get started on that project right away.”

Tessa started to feel warm and a little dizzy with how much she wanted him. ”Yes. Let's do that. Marcus and Quinn won't miss us, and Miss Patty will understand.”

”Miss Patty understands everything,” Johnny agreed, taking her by the hand and leading her up the stairs to the room they shared. ”I don't know where we'd be without her.”

”Let's hope she'll give Quinn and Marcus advice that's half as good as what she gave us.” Tessa squeezed her once-and-future husband's hand. ”And let's hope, for their sake, they listen, before they break each other's hearts.”

Marcus was going to have to break Quinn's heart.

The last words he'd spoken hung between them in the silence like a handful of knives, waiting to slice them up.

I don't need you.

Marcus regarded Quinn as if she were on the other side of a deep, unnavigable ocean. Tears-tears he'd caused-stood in her eyes, trembling in her lashes, and all he wanted was to reach out and cup her head to draw her in close enough to kiss them away.

But he couldn't do that. Because he'd already screwed her life up enough. He'd broken his own rules and gotten in too deep, and now Quinn was throwing away the best chance she'd had at a real career so that she could pull pints and play house with Marcus.

Unacceptable.

”Maybe you don't think you need me,” Quinn started, tilting that dimpled chin up defiantly. ”But I'm a bigger a.s.set than you think.”

Marcus wished, for a fleeting instant, that he had the skills to do this the gentle way. But he had to make it stick. So he gave her a calculated leer and said, ”I know all about your a.s.sets, sweetheart.”

That dried her tears in a hurry, but it didn't send her rus.h.i.+ng out the door. Instead, it seemed to make her angry.

Okay. Angry was better than sad, and definitely better than infatuated.

”Don't be gross,” she snarled. It was like watching a puppy face down a mountain lion.

Marcus forced himself to shrug. ”Hey, I said I didn't need you, not that I don't want you. Feel free to come over anytime. This town doesn't have enough action for me to turn any down, especially action as good as you.”