Part 18 (1/2)
That brought a watery smile to Tessa's face. ”No. I guess not. But-”
”But nothing,” Johnny said firmly. ”The only person to blame for what happened today is that man in the back of the cop car. You couldn't control his choices or his actions. I hope you can accept that, and find some peace with all this.”
A stubborn look glittered in Tessa's blue eyes. ”I'll work on accepting that I'm not responsible for every bad thing my father did, if you'll do the same.”
Johnny opened his mouth to argue that it wasn't the same, not for him, but he shut it with a snap. Maybe ... Tessa had a point. Maybe it was time for Johnny to give himself a break and look for the kind of peace he wanted for Tessa.
Maybe he'd never get over his sister's death. It wasn't the kind of thing a man could move on from, and he wouldn't want to-it would be too much like forgetting her. But somehow, in that moment when he pulled his wife from the freezing waters of the Atlantic, something inside Johnny s.h.i.+fted. Lightened.
As if a hand had reached down from above, showed him where to find Tessa, and lifted away a burden he'd been carrying for so long, he hardly knew it was there until it was gone.
”Maybe you're right,” he finally said, and had the satisfaction of watching Tessa's eyes go round with surprise. ”It's a deal. I'll work on it if you will.”
”Deal.” Tessa pulled away to put her hand out and shake on it, but Johnny's hands closed reflexively over her hips to keep her close. His tight clasp squeezed water from her pockets, drenching their legs.
Tessa gasped and laughed, then stopped suddenly. ”Oh! That reminds me. I'm mad at you.”
Johnny's heart lurched sideways as she reached her hand into one pocket. She pulled out a sodden ma.s.s of paper, and wrung it out like a dirty dishtowel.
She shook it out and Johnny recognized the page from their divorce papers. The page with his signature at the bottom, the ink running down the paper like dark blue tears. Tessa met his eyes, arched a brow ... and tore the soggy paper cleanly in half.
Blood pounding, Johnny stared at her. What did that mean?
”You divorced me!” Tessa's brows drew together, aggrieved. ”How could you do that?”
Hope was a sharp knot in Johnny's throat. ”You ... you asked me to. Several times.”
”And you chose the morning after we first made love to finally listen to me?” Tessa whispered fiercely, cheeks reddening beneath the pallor of her damp, chilled skin.
”I thought it was what you wanted.” Johnny felt the half-truth burn like a coal in his chest, forcing him to add, ”And I thought you'd be better off. Without me. I'm dangerous.”
The furrow between Tessa's brows got deeper. ”But ... divorcing me wouldn't have kept me safe, even if the threat you sensed had truly been a result of your work with the ATF.”
Johnny shook his head reluctantly. ”It's nothing as rational as that. I just ... I don't know. I've been going off half-c.o.c.ked a lot, ever since I got here. I don't always trust myself.”
”That's too bad,” Tessa said, holding his gaze steadily. ”Because I trust you. With everything I am, and everything I have. And we might have work to do, a lot to learn about each other still, but I know one thing down to the bottom of my soul. I'm not better off without you. I've tried it, and I can survive. But I want more than that now. I want to live. I want to love, and be loved.”
Johnny's hands were sliding up her back and curling her to him before he knew what he was doing. Their mouths found each other, cool and sweet and clinging. The kiss did more to warm Johnny up than a wool blanket and a fifth of whiskey.
He cupped her face in his hands and told her what he'd realized in the moment when he thought he'd lost her.
”I do love you, you know. I didn't know I had any heart left to give, after my sister died. But whatever I have, whatever I am ... it's yours.”
Tessa, who hadn't cried once during the entire ordeal with her father, suddenly burst into tears. Johnny knew exactly how she felt. Everything he felt and wanted to say welled up in him, surging into his mouth like the waves cras.h.i.+ng against the Coast Guard boat off the sh.o.r.eline.
But as he held Tessa to his chest and savored the feel of her against him, there was really only one thing to say.
”Tessa. Honey.”
She looked up, smiling through her tears, more beautiful to him than she was the day he first met her. ”Johnny?”
With his thumbs, he brushed the tears from her cheekbones. Staring into the endless pools of her hazel eyes, he felt his life come full circle.
”Theresa Mulligan Alexander. Will you marry me? Again?”
Everything Tessa had ever wanted was right here, in her arms. The thought dried her tears in a hurry, although the emotion that started them remained just as close to the surface of her damp, s.h.i.+vering skin. Standing on that sandy bank, she felt stripped down to the essentials, confronted with the reality of life's fragility.
How close they'd come to losing everything, to losing each other! Tessa felt the same stunned relief she would have felt after dodging a bullet.
Lacing her fingers together behind Johnny's neck, she said, ”I will marry you, Johnny Alexander. As many times as it takes, until we get it right. But I think the second time is going to be the charm.”
He laughed and kissed her again. Tessa closed her eyes and forced herself to memorize everything-the texture of his lips, the heat of his tongue, the rasp of his stubble. The joy in her heart, the desire in his hands, the love they shared.
It was a nearly perfect moment of happiness. But Tessa knew, better than anyone, that the marriage proposal wasn't the end of the love story. It was only the beginning. And as Johnny smiled against her mouth and held her tightly, Tessa opened her eyes and looked straight into her future.
Chapter 22.
Tessa caught sight of herself in the bakery window as she locked up for the night. It was the first time Johnny had let her close the shop on her own in the two weeks since her father tried to kidnap her, and Tessa was determined to enjoy having her routine back in place.
Since her father tried to kidnap her. Those words still didn't make sense, when she tried to consider them too closely. In the past fourteen days, the outward marks of her ordeal had disappeared-the ring of bruises around her wrist had faded and the b.u.mp on her wrist had gone down.
But it was going to take longer for the invisible scars to fade, Tessa feared. As happy as she was, being engaged to her husband, she knew she'd be dealing with the emotional fallout of her family's implosion for some time to come.
With a shaky breath, Tessa turned her face to the golden light of evening. This was the first time she'd been alone for longer than a few minutes since she left the hospital, and it actually felt good.
She'd only been kept one night for observation after her dip in the freezing cold waters of the ocean, but Johnny hadn't left her bedside even though she spent most of her time in the hospital dozing off her medication. He'd been there every time the nurses came in to wake her and check her vitals, in case of concussion. He'd been the one to drive her home from the hospital, to Patty's house, where he'd promptly moved his things into her bedroom.
Tessa wasn't keen to let him out of her sight either, at first. She was shaky after her close brush with danger, she could admit that. And it was heaven to have him so close, in every way, after years of yearning. But after a week of coddling and hovering, Tessa had started gently trying to get Johnny to relax his hypervigilance a bit.
She'd suggested they finish out their couples counseling at Windy Corner, and to her surprise, Johnny had agreed without putting up a fight. ”Dr. Voss got us this far,” he'd said, smiling slightly and curling an arm around her shoulders to press a kiss into her hair. ”Let's see what else she has to say.”
One of the things Dr. Voss did was to give them homework. For instance, Johnny's homework was to let Tessa walk home from work by herself.
So here she was, meandering along the sidewalk on her way toward her love, and enjoying the cool, purple twilight ... until she nearly crashed into someone right in front of Patty's stone walkway.
”Whoops!” Quinn Harper laughed, looking up from her phone with a wide grin. ”Man, I should not be mult.i.tasking. I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time, much less text. Are you okay?”
”Never better,” Tessa a.s.sured her young friend. She and Quinn had bonded over the past couple of weeks. In a move that seemed to surprise everyone except Patty, the taciturn, unfriendly Marcus Beckett had all but moved in to help take care of the recuperating old lady. He was a better nurse than Tessa would have imagined. He did ch.o.r.es around the house, from changing lightbulbs to scrubbing toilets. He and Quinn played cards with Miss Patty by the hour. Between the two of them and having Johnny to help Tessa at the bakery, Miss Patty had never been better cared for.
”Things are definitely looking up around here,” Quinn agreed cheerily. ”Miss Patty seems to be doing really well.”
”Thanks to you and Marcus.”
”We're not the only ones! Everyone has pitched in.”
They turned and started up the walkway together. Quinn was right. Patty's house was full of laughter and good wishes, with a constantly rotating cast of island friends bearing ca.s.seroles, salads, and gossip. Quinn had proven herself indispensable, her suns.h.i.+ny smile cheering Patty up when her headaches came back, and her attention to detail helping to keep the many offerings of food organized and labeled with sticky notes to enable Patty to return the correct dish to its owner.