Part 17 (1/2)
But jest as I wuz moralizin' on this, I hearn a bystander talkin'
about the Trip to the Moon. And rememberin' what Bildad said I sot out for the air-s.h.i.+p that took folks there. To tell the truth, I'd always hankered to see what wuz on the moon. Not to see that old man of the moon (no, Josiah wuz my choice); but I always did want to know what wuz on the other planets, and though I'm most ashamed to say it, after all my talk agin Coney Island, yet if it hadn't been for the kankerin'
worm of anxiety knawin' at my vitals, I should have enjoyed myself first rate as the air-s.h.i.+p sailed off, with a stately motion, for the moon.
I had watched the pa.s.sengers with a eagle vision but no Josiah embarked, but the air-s.h.i.+p sailed off, the earth receeded, we wuz in the clouds, anon we pa.s.sed through a big thunder storm, I wuz almost lost in thought watchin' sea and ocean when the captain called out:
”The Moon! the Moon!”
And we alighted and got off, I a-thinkin' what and who wuz I to see in thet place I'd always hankered for. Strange shapes indeed, foreign to our earth, birds, dragons, animals of most weird shape. Anon I see a little figger, queer-lookin' as you might spoze. I accosted the little Moony, my first words bein' not a question of deep historical research, you would expect a woman with my n.o.ble brain would ask, about that onexplored country. No, my head didn't speak, it wuz my heart, that gushed forth in a agonized inquiry.
”Have you seen Josiah? Have you seen my beloved pardner? Is he in the moon?”
His words in reply wuz in moon language, nothin' I ever hearn in Jonesville or Zoar, and anon he begun to sing in that moony language, and I see I wuz wastin' time, I must conduct my quest myself.
But oh, the seens I pa.s.sed through! And oh, the queer moon landscapes!
the queer moony animals and moon creeters I pa.s.sed! But all in vain, no Josiah blessed my longin' vision. And with my brain turnin' over and my heart achin', I agin entered the air-s.h.i.+p and returned to terry cotta; or mebby I hain't got it right in my agitation, mebby I'd ort to say visey versey. 'Tennyrate I found myself out in Luny Park agin.
Well, what wuz to be my next move? Fur up a steep hite I see water pourin' down a deep abyss and a boat full of men and wimmen set out from the highest peak, shot down the declivity like lightnin' and dashed 'way out in the water on the other side of the bridge where I wuz standin'; but my idol wuz not among 'em.
I see a great checker-board raised up, so big it wuz played with human creeters instead of beans or kernels of corn. But no Josiah wuz there movin' and jumpin', or bein' jumped as the case might be.
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”_A boat full of men and women set out from the highest peak, shot down the declivity like lightnin' and dashed 'way out on the other side of the bridge._” (_See page 238_)]
On one side riz up a high mountain full of green shrubs and flowers, and windin' round and round from the bottom clear to the top, went cars filled with men and wimmen, boys and girls, up, up, down, down, as fur as from our house to Betsy Bobbet Slimpsey's; but no Josiah wuz among the winders up or the winders down.
Even as I looked, a elephant pa.s.sed me with stately tread, bearin' on his richly ornamented back a small-sized man with a bald head; but it wuzn't Josiah's baldness or his small, meachin' figger.
Two high tiers of balconies stretched along on one side, ornamented off with white pillows and posies where folks could set and eat their good meals, and enjoy the music and the never ceasing gayety. Beneath 'em, above 'em and beyond 'em, as fur as they could, see, towers, pinnacles, battlements, steeples, palms, flowers, color, light, music, and the endless, endless procession of pleasure hunters pa.s.sin' below.
Rich men, poor men, wimmen in satin and serge, s.h.i.+ffon and calico, babies, boys and girls.
I made the calculation that about a million folks could be accommodated on them balconies. I may have got one or two too many; I didn't stop to count.
Lower down run a low, ornamented ruff, coverin' hundreds of little tables where folks could set and git soft drinks and hard. The hard drink's true to its name everyway. For when did the Whiskey Demon ever turn out anything but hard, from the time it exhilerates the consumer till it drives him away from love, home, friends, happiness, and at last gives him a final hard push, sendin' him into a onlamented grave!
But truly no one has time to moralize or eppisode to any extent amidst the music, laughter and gay voices, the endless procession pa.s.sin' by.
To most a seen of happiness, but to me they seemed like shadders; the Reality of life, my beloved pardner, wuz lost, lost to me. A pleasant lookin' female standin' by, seein' the emotion in my face, and wantin'
to cheer me up, I spoze, sez:
”Have you tried the Loop de Loop?”
I answered with a sad dignity, ”Yes, I've done considerable tattin' in my day.”
”Mebby you'd like to try the b.u.mp de b.u.mp.”
I sez, ”No, I've enjoyed enough of that since comin' in here.”
Sez she, ”Have you seen the monkeys keepin' house?”
”No,” sez I, ”but I will.” And sure enough, there wuz a big family of monkeys housekeeping. Some eatin' dinner in the dining room, some doin' different kinds of housework, sweepin', operatin' the dumb waiter, payin' bills, etc. Some in the settin' room readin' the newspaper. And there is a band of sixty monkey musicians. And I hearn they're learnin' bridge whist; I wuz sorry to hear that, and I sez to the oldest and wisest lookin' monkey: