Part 16 (1/2)

Sez Bildad, ”The last time I see him he wuz startin' to take a trip to the Moon.”

Oh what a shock that wuz, Josiah goin' to the moon; and yet even as he spoke I felt a relief, knowin' man's fickle nater, that the only inhabitant I ever hearn on in the moon wuz an old man instead of a woman. For few indeed are the men that will stand without hitchin,'

and as for girl blinders, they won't wear 'em, much as they need 'em from the cradle to the grave.

”When wuz he layin' out to return?” sez I in a tremblin' voice.

”Oh they take trips there every half hour.”

Thinks I, to-day I go there myself, and Josiah Allen will come down to earth agin' if I know myself. But not one word did I say to demean my pardner. Breakfast wuz ready and I sot down. But my emotions filled me up. I couldn't seem to have any place for meat vittles, I couldn't eat anything but some bread and b.u.t.ter and a gla.s.s of milk. A female settin' by me sez, ”You're not goin' to eat loose milk, are you?”

”Loose!” sez I, ”Why should milk be tied up? I never wuz afraid on't.”

”I mean milk that hain't bottled,” sez she. ”I wouldn't eat loose milk for the world.” And she being enthusiastick gin a long eulogy of the good men who wuz tryin' to save poor babies by givin' 'em pure milk, and she talked bitter about the men who opposed the idee for fear it would pauperize the babies.

And I told her it wouldn't make much difference with the babies pizened by microby milk whether they died pauperized or onpauperized.

Well, I didn't know whether the milk wuz loose or tight, but I eat it rapidly, so's to begin my hunt. I'd slep' some on the cars, and when I had changed my parmetty waist for a brown gingham s.h.i.+rt waist, and washed my face, and brushed back my hair, I wuz ready to start. The room they gin me wuz so small I thought I would have to go out in the hall to change my mind. But I did manage to change my waist. Bildad's old colored woman wuz singin' as she made the bed in the next room that old him ”Pull for the Sh.o.r.e.” She sung:

”Pull for the sh.o.r.e, brother, Pull for the sh.o.r.e, Heed not the rollin' pins, Bend to the oar--

Leave the poor old straddled wreck And pull for the sh.o.r.e.”

She didn't git the words right, but her voice wuz melogious, and as I listened my soul parodied the words to suit my needs. Yes, I felt that I must ”bend to the oar” of my purpose, I must not ”heed the rollin'

waves” of weariness and anxiety, must leave ”the poor old stranded wreck” of my domestic happiness and security and pull for Josiah.

Luny Park wuz only a few steps from Bildad's and anon I stood before what seemed to be a great city, gorgeous below and way up above the thronged streets and mountains and flower-decked declivities, endless white towers riz up as if callin' attention to 'em. And I didn't know but the place had been lied about, and I asked a bystander if any of 'em wuz meetin' house steeples.

He laughed in derision at me, and I pa.s.sed on and come to a lot of girls dressed up in red, and settin' in chariots like them old Roman females used to go to war in. I asked one on 'em if she wuz layin' out to go to Mexico, and she replied ”Ten cents,” and shoved out a piece of paper to me.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”_I stood before what seemed to be a great city. Endless white towers riz up as if callin' attention to 'em._”

(_See page 226_)]

I see she wuz luny as the park, but didn't argy, and pa.s.sed on furder when a man out of a row of great tall men dressed in red, took the piece of paper from me. He took it right out of my hand, and if there is anything wrong goin' on between him and the girl that gin it to me I hain't to blame, and want it understood that I hain't.

Anon I see a dancin' pavilion big enough for all the folks in Jonesville and Zoar to dance in at one time. But I never thought of dancin' or two-steppin' myself, though the music wuz enticin' to them easy enticed. But knowin' the infinite variety of fads my pardner had indulged in, I cast some searchin' glances at the dancers and two-steppers as I went past, but to my relief I see that he wuz not among 'em.

On the left side, as I strolled along, I see a big butcher shop, with hull sides of beef, mutton, pork, hams, chickens, etc., hangin' up.

And a long counter, piled full of invitin' lookin' pieces ready to roast or brile. The butcher in a clean white ap.r.o.n stood behind the counter. Everything looked good and clean, but I'd hearn of city meat givin' toe main pizen, and knowin' Josiah's fondness for meat vittles--I asked anxiously, ”Are you sure the critters this meat come from hadn't got cow consumption, or hog cholera?”

A friendly female standin' by said, ”Every mite of that is candy.”

And she offered me a piece of sa.s.sidge, and asked which I preferred, wintergreen or peppermint.

I answered mekanically that I seasoned my sa.s.sidge with sage and pepper. Agin she affirmed that everything in the butcher shop wuz candy.

I didn't argy, but merely said, ”It is enough to deceive the very electioneers.”

Sez she, ”I spoze you mean politicians, and that's so, if they're deceived anyone can be.”

I wuz talkin' Bible but didn't explain, and walked onwards. The F. F.