Part 15 (2/2)

1: Number of gallons of orange juice the millionaire railroad tyc.o.o.n drank for breakfast 2: Number of pounds of candy Brady often finished a meal withafter desserts 6: Number of times the size of Brady's stomach was compared with a normal person's stomach 8: Number of lobsters Brady often ate as a dinner course or as a ”light” lunch 12: Number of eggs Brady liked in his souffle 25: Number of ”best customers” the owner of Charles Rector's, an exclusive Broadway restaurant, said Brady representedall by himself 72: Number of oysters with which Brady often started an evening's repast 150,000: Number of dollars Brady reportedly paid a Boston chocolate manufacturer to build a larger factory to adequately supply the legendary gourmand **

Touch of Evil The Labrador duck went extinct not only because of its meat, but also because of its eggs. The bird could lay up to an egg per day, but that didn't stop humans and other predators from wiping them out by 1875.

_03:: The Great Auk Rich in protein, chock-full of nutritious fats and oils, and great for baiting fishhooks, this flightless seabird was, well, great. Found on the rocky islands and coastal areas on both sides of the North Atlantic, great auks were like a somewhat smaller version of the dodo, and they had the brains to match. Starting in the early 16th century, sailors began marching the clueless creatures up the gangplank and pus.h.i.+ng them into the s.h.i.+p's hold by the hundreds. Unlike the dodo, however, the auk was considered great grub, and the tasty bird was hunted for its feathers, skin, and eggs to boot. Unfortunately, you'll never get to feast on the great auk's tender meat, and you have your European brothers to thank for it. The last pair was killed on an island off the coast of Iceland back in 1844.

_04:: The Pa.s.senger Pigeon The naturalist John James Audubon once reported seeing a flock of pa.s.senger pigeons so numerous, it took three days for them to fly over. And he wasn't exaggerating. In the early part of the 19th century, the birds, which were slightly larger than mourning doves, were estimated to make up as much as 40% of North America's entire avian population. But the abundance of the creatures made them easy marks. Effortlessly hunted, the birds were mowed down mostly for food but occasionally for sport, with some ”sportsmen” bagging as many as 5,000 in a day. In fact, the birds filled entire train boxcars as they were s.h.i.+pped to markets in eastern cities. Unable to sustain themselves except in large flocks, the pigeons dwindled rapidly. In 1900, a 14-year-old boy shot the last wild pa.s.senger pigeon (boys will be boys). Fourteen years later, the last one in captivity died at the Cincinnati Zoo. Her name was Martha.

Nothing's Good in Moderation: The

5 Most Excessive Weddings in History

Sure, there's lots to consider in planning a wedding: dresses, cakes, bands, halls...all of which can add up to a hefty bill for the parents of the bride (or, in some cultures, the groom). But perhaps those bellyaching about the substantial hit their bank account is about to take should pause for a moment to consider some of history's most ridiculously, outrageously off-the-wall weddings. Suddenly dropping a few grand on a one-wear gown doesn't seem so bad, does it?

_01:: Attila the Hun and Ildico (453 CE) Attila the Hun, perennial barbarian bad boy, was apparently also a perennial playboy. Leader of the Huns, Attila somehow also found time to marry 12 women and father an unknown number of children. Never able to quite get enough, Attila still might have wanted to hold off on the last wife. On his last wedding night, in 453 CE, the royalty of every nation under Hun dominion, from the Rhine to the Volga, were in attendance, and thousands of gallons of booze and whole herds of sheep were brought in to slake their appet.i.tes. No ordinary nuptials, the drinking and feasting were to last for days, but on the morning after taking his 16-year-old bride to bed, the 50-something warlord was found dead. Whether his death was caused by poison, overdrinking, or just too much fun in the sack, the world will probably never know.

_02:: Margaret of York and Charles the Bold (1468) Despite the protests of France's Louis XI, who was fearful of an alliance between the English and the Burgundians, Margaret of York was engaged to Charles the Bold, aka the duke of Burgundy. And in spite of the king's objection, the crazy cats decided to go forth with said ceremony and party like it was 1469. Extravagant even by the standards of European royal weddings, the blessed event was accompanied by a tournament in which the most famous knights in Europe bludgeoned one another for days. And Margaret's crown, covered in pearls and diamonds, was so valuable that it's now on display in the treasury of Aachen Cathedral. Of course, the preceremony celebrations were equally grand. The nuptials themselves were preceded by parades through the streets of Bruges, a pageant reenacted every year during (coincidentally enough) the tourist season. Sadly, Margaret's subsequent life was a little less like a fairy tale: she lived to see the death of her husband in battle (1477) against the French and the overthrow of both Burgundy as an independent duchy (1482) and of her own family across the Channel (1485).

_03:: Prince Rainier of Monaco and Grace Kelly (1956) Billed as ”the wedding of the century,” the union between the prince of Monaco (whose family is actually descended from Genoese pirates) and the Hollywood starlet was the talk of the civilized world for much of the mid-1950s. Rainier gave his bride a 10-carat diamond ring, and his subjects gave their new princess diamond earrings and a necklace to match and, for no particular reason, a Rolls-Royce. Of course, the gown was no joke, either, as Grace's dress was designed by an Oscar winner, Helen Rose. The couple had two wedding ceremonies, a private civil ceremony in the Riviera princ.i.p.ality's throne room and a public religious ceremony in Monaco Cathedral. Over 600 of the world's rich and famous attended the reception, including Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant, and Ava Gardner. Tragically, Princess Grace was killed in 1982 in a car accident. Interestingly, commemorative U.S. postage stamps were issued in her honor, but they gave her name only as ”Grace Kelly.” Why? Because U.S. law bans the placement of foreign monarchs on its postage stamps.

Touch of Evil Mariah Carey wore a $25,000 gown for her wedding to Sony Music Entertainment boss Tommy Mottola, an event that featured fifty flower girls and cost more than half a million bucks. If only the investment had paid off: the couple separated before celebrating their fourth anniversary.

_04:: Muhammad and Salama of Dubai (1981) Things can be rough when you're constantly trying to ”keep up with the Joneses,” or the Hamids, as the case may be. Arab weddings are often such bank-breakers that Arab economists frequently bemoan the size and expense that have become culturally expected. But that didn't stop Ras.h.i.+d bin Sayid al-Maktoum, sheikh of Dubai, in planning his son Muhammad's 1981 wedding to Princess Salama. Lasting a mere seven days (seven!), the wedding was held in a stadium built expressly to host the festivities. Twenty thousand guests attended, and the bill came in at just over $44 million.

_05:: The Mittal Affair (2004) In possibly the most luxurious wedding in history, Vanisha Mittal, daughter of Anglo-Indian steel tyc.o.o.n Laxmi Mittal, married Amit Bhatia, an investment banker who literally cashed in. The wedding, held in June 2004 in a chateau in France, lasted six days and was reported to have cost over $90 million (yes, that's U.S. dollars). The guest roster included some of Bollywood's brightest stars and some of Europe's deepest pockets. Among the expenditures: $520,000 for a performance by pop diva Kylie Minogue, who performed for a half hour. That's almost $300 per second, a figure even more shocking when you factor in dollars per unit of talent.

4 Facts about Roman Excess From insanely large feasts to the lewdest of lewd orgies, Romans certainly loved their excess and ohs. The following are just a few of the areas they really could have trimmed back on.

_01:: The Food If you're throwing a vintage Roman orgy, you'll need to make sure your pantry's well stocked. For breakfast, the Romans served bread, grapes, olives, with cheese and eggs all at the fourth hour. Then followed a meal at the sixth hour and at the ninth hour, the cena (evening meal), when a three-part meal was served. The first part was the gustus, which was designed to whet the appet.i.te with sh.e.l.lfish and spicy sauces. Second was the fercula, which consisted of many different courses of meats and vegetables, while the third, the mensae secundae, was a dessert composed of fruits and pastry. Of course, ancient orgygoers also chowed down on ram's head pies, stuffed fowl, and boiled calf and pastry stuffed with raisins and nuts. Don't forget that atmosphere counts for something, too! Dishes were often made of gold and silver and precious jewels, banquet rooms were strewn with lilies and roses, and the partic.i.p.ants lived for the present. Of course, you'll want to make sure you've got an army of slaves wearing costly dresses, just to make sure your guests feel extra welcome. Also, any and all sorts of bodily functions were accepted and even encouraged during dinner: belching, farting, spitting, relieving oneself in slave-borne chamber pots in full view of other guests, and even vomiting to make room for more grub. Don't remember that scene in Caligula.

_02:: The Entertainment Nothing screams entertainment, well, like the Roman entertainers of yore. And games, festivals, and gladiatorial shows were just another part of Roman society carried to excessive lengths. Generally speaking, spectators and partic.i.p.ants were exposed to unnatural excitements, and somehow developed an entertaining perspective on acts of cruelty and suffering. In fact, historians estimate that over 500,000 people were regular attendees at these forms of entertainment, often staying for days at a time. To sweeten the deal, all concessions (food and drink!) were provided free of charge by a generous government. And boy could these people party! The amphitheater at t.i.tus was built to hold 80,000 seated spectators arranged by rank. And from the emperor to the lowest of the population, all seated on marble benches, covered with cus.h.i.+ons and protected from the elements by canopies. There, gladiators and political prisoners fought with people or animals to the death. And as the audiences got bored, organizers were forced to find new sources of entertainment. For instance, Pompey let loose 600 lions in the arena with the gladiators one day, while Probus, a wealthy Roman, at one of his festivals once reserved 600 gladiators for extinction and ma.s.sacred another 200 lions, 20 leopards, and 300 bears (oh, my).

_03:: The Bath Citizens of the Roman Empire regarded s.e.xual relations and s.e.xual freedom with pa.s.sionate abandon. In fact, the indolent lifestyle of the rich focused more on pleasure than industry and the Roman baths were a focal point for daily relaxation, socializing, and idleness for both the rich and the poor. Originally designed for cleansing purposes, the baths quickly became hangouts for socializing, relaxing, and ultimately engaging in plenty of s.e.x orgies. The baths were kept open all day and night and sometimes the wealthy cla.s.ses, attended by armies of slaves, lived in them. Today, the ruins of many of the baths indicate that the inside walls were extravagantly decorated with images made less to excite cleaning activities than the pa.s.sions and senses.

Touch of Evil Romans were too posh to commit bulimia themselves, so they actually employed slaves to tickle their throats. Once their systems were clear, they could go back for round two.

_04:: The Fas.h.i.+on Amazingly, the Romans weren't always so fond of excess. Prior to the dawn of the empire, the Romans were a frugal people and actually dressed with great simplicity, but as the empire grew, so did the flamboyance of its citizens. Men started expecting their women, courtesans and wives, to wear extravagantly ornamented attire every day. And while pearls and rubies were treasured jewels and large amounts of money were spent to acquire them, women were also expected to don woven silk of various colors, with colorful, extravagant embroidery. Dyed hair and exotic cosmetics also came into fas.h.i.+on, as did gold thread, which was fas.h.i.+oned into hair jewelry. The Romans also got an eye for ”bling” and more and more stoles were quickly fastened with diamond clips, with jewels being embroidered into clothing, and even footwear, whenever possible. However, there was a constant turnover of clothes and jewelry during banquets, where, depending on the generosity of the host, anything that wasn't bolted down was given to the guests as gifts. A pretty high price to pay for friends.h.i.+p, no doubt.

3 Diets to Avoid:

Religious Councils through the Ages

Religion means a lot of things to a lot of people. Some consider it to be the source of all compa.s.sion, others feel it's the opiate of the ma.s.ses, and still others view it as a good reason to rent out a village and have a big, old get-together. We're just focusing on the latter.

_01:: Council at Clermont (1095) By the 11th century, the Christian Church was split into eastern and western factions and the holy city of Jerusalem had been under control of the Muslims for a couple hundred years. Then, in 1095, Pope Urban II summoned the clergy and n.o.bles to a council in the village of Clermont in central France. Urban's PR team had leaked a rumor that Urban was going to make a special announcement at the council, and the effort worked. On the first day the crowds were so large that the papal throne had to be set up in a field so that everyone could be accommodated. After listing a number of alleged atrocities on eastern Christians by the Muslims and arguing the need to recapture Jerusalem, the pope cajoled the crowd into taking up arms against the so-called heathens. And with a flair for the dramatic, the pope stated that ”G.o.d wills it.” He then summoned his followers to take up the cross and head east to fight for Christianity. Of course, Urban did come up with a clever scheme for paying the warriors. For going to the Holy Land and fighting the Muslims, crusaders were offered a heck of a deal: not only would their past sins be forgiven, but present and future ones as well! With free pa.s.ses to heaven on the horizon, armies of crusaders stormed toward the Holy Land, changing the climate of the region forever.

_02:: Diet of Worms (1521) While the Diet of Worms doesn't sound particularly tasty, it was definitely historic. Having been excommunicated for his teachings, Martin Luther was invited by the German emperor to attend an imperial diet in the German village of Worms, where he could defend his teachings. And while the emperor expected Luther to recant his beliefs, German princes were actually hoping that the meeting would help loosen Rome's power over Germany. Because Martin hadn't officially been declared an outlaw just yet (as excommunicants normally were), he was allowed to travel freely to Worms and even spent two weeks preaching to large crowds along the way. There was less excitement upon his arrival, however, as Luther appeared twice before the emperor and was told both times to take back his teachings. Luther stated that he saw no reason to do so and simply said, ”I am finished” (not the popularly believed ”Here I stand. I cannot do other.”). Clearly a little miffed, the emperor immediately declared Martin Luther an outlaw, and sentenced him to death. Like the religious fairy tale it was, though, Luther was saved from the sentence by kidnappers, who then hid him for his own safety. The Protestant Reformation was under way.

_03:: Council of Trent (15451563) Arguably one of the most important councils in the history of the Roman Catholic Church, the Council of Trent not only served as the foundation for the Counter-Reformation, it also shaped the traditions and the doctrines of the church that remain to this day. In total, the council actually met three times over the 18-year period. The first two-year session ended abruptly when the city of Trent in northern Italy was attacked, not by the Protestants, but by the dreaded bubonic plague. Then, four years later, the council reconvened and then took the next 10 years off due to a war in Germany. When the third session finally ended, the council issued decrees on Holy Orders, the Ma.s.s, the sacraments of marriage, purgatory, and the doctrinal differences between the Roman Catholic Church and the Protestant faiths. And while the decrees from this council set the direction for the Roman Catholic Church for the next 500 years and helped create the chasms dividing the Christian faiths that remain until this day, ironically, the pope had little say or power at the council. Why not? Because the majority in attendance felt the big guy was too corrupt and incapable of fixing anything!

So Hungry I Could Eat a Horse:

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