Part 18 (2/2)

But that, after all, is not the main thing. The main thing is, that if he is to be trusted to go out walking with his nurse, he must be willing to do as she says, no matter how unreasonable it may seem. Otherwise mother would be worrying all the time--and something dreadful might happen--he might get lost, or run over. He doesn't have to go out walking with Delia, if he doesn't want to; that is for him to decide.

But if he does decide to go, it must be on the distinct understanding that he agrees not to disobey her.

The boy is rightly ent.i.tled to his say about this and if he has any objections, it is for mother to meet them and dissipate them with her love and reasons. Nothing should be demanded between mother and son which does not seem just and fair to both.

One final point remains to be considered. He threw the bird in Delia's face and called her a name which must have hurt her feelings.

_Boy:_ ”I couldn't help it. I was angry.”

_Mother:_ ”I understand that perfectly. But all the same, it was rather hard on Delia, especially when she was only trying to do what she thought was right.”

_Boy:_ ”Sometimes, I've got an awful temper.”

_Mother:_ ”I don't mind that a bit. I'm glad of it. It's only because you have such strong feelings.”

_Boy:_ ”Have you got a temper, too?”

_Mother (smiling and nodding):_ ”Of course I have--as bad as yours--or worse.”

_Boy (delighted):_ ”Really?”

_Mother:_ ”But it's something we all have to learn to control. Because if we can't control it, it's sure to make us do things that we're ashamed of afterwards--things that are unkind and unfair to others.

Aren't you just a little bit ashamed of what you did to Delia?”

_Boy (meeting her eye with smile of enquiry--then looking away and thinking, with feeling):_ ”No--I'm not!”

_Mother (petting his hand):_ ”Well--I suppose you're still thinking about the bird--and there's still a little of that old temper left. But wait awhile and think it over. And--I'm going to tell you something that _I_ think would be awfully nice. Sometime, if you did happen to feel like it and went to Delia of your own accord and explained to her how you lost your temper and were sorry for calling her that awful name----?”

_Boy (looking away, thinking, then turning to her, hesitating and shaking his head):_ ”I couldn't mummy, please,--I couldn't--not now----”

_Mother:_ ”I'm sure she'd appreciate it, a lot. Poor Delia--she tries so hard and she's so sensitive and she's really so fond of you. Of course, I wouldn't want you to say you were sorry, unless it was really true.

It's only a sham and a humbug to make people say things they don't mean.

It's entirely a question of how you feel about it, in your own heart.

And n.o.body can decide that for you but yourself.”

After an incident of this sort, how would a mother feel if Delia told her, the next afternoon, that Master Bob had come to her and apologized like a little gentleman--and he'd been so sweet and dear--and he'd kissed her--and it touched her so, it broke her all up and she couldn't help crying?

If we take the pains to examine a little every-day example of this sort, it is not difficult to see that it involves some fairly important feelings. First of all, it encourages a feeling of faith--faith in mother, in her sympathy and understanding and justice. Then consideration for others--self-control--and finally conscience, what the inner nature, of its own accord, feels to be right. All these may be of vital account in the formation of a fine character, and they may be brought into play by this sort of treatment just as effectually as by a beating.

Of course it cannot be a.s.sumed, or expected, that the immediate result in any given case will prove so satisfactory. Sooner or later, with nearly all children, there are sure to come times when gentle explanations will not suffice. Something more impressive has to be resorted to.

This final resort was, in fact, faintly indicated in our example--but so faintly, that it might be overlooked.

It was carefully explained to the boy that if he would not agree to obey Delia, when he went out walking with her, then he could not enjoy the privilege of going out walking with Delia. This is a principle of punishment, which may be applied to any and all cases, to almost any desired degree.

And it has at least one great advantage over other kinds of punishment.

It can be made to avoid all danger of seeming unjust and arousing resentment.

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