Part 36 (1/2)

At least, not for a while. Not until the current cycle is well out of my system. You're lucky you didn't get busted when they did all that blood work, he said. You get busted, I get busted. You've got a big mouth.

I figure I'll finish up what I've got left and dry out for a while.

See if lifting alone will keep the ol' bat hot. And hopefully leave GBME kicking in my dust.

As For The Big Mouth I struggle with that. Right now, seeing Cara down the hall at her locker, it's all I can do not to shout something obscene.

Don't want to risk a cell, though. And now I've got Aubree to keep me in line.

She's a little like taffy- all pliable and chewy and sticky sweet. Except she's really not sweet at all. She can be one s.h.i.+t-talking, backstabbing girl. And in fact, it was she who spread those pics of Cara across the ether. When I asked her why she wanted to ruin a supposed friend's reputation, she told me, Cara only acts like she's your friend. She'd never have your back if it meant offering up her own.

I don't know if that's exactly accurate, but now that I think about it, Cara doesn't really have friends. Lots of people hang around her, but I'm not sure how many of them liked her, even before they knew she was a d.y.k.e. Too bad, so sad. I'm not sure how many people really like Aubree, either. She's kind of stuck-up.

But she's a fine little piece of distraction right now.

And with her being the one to keep the pressure on Cara, I don't have to. She texts her sometimes, using stolen cell phones, so the messages can't be traced back to her.

Or me. Hey, I don't ask her to.

Cara Knows Aubree and I are kind of a thing.

Not like we try to hide it. Aubree flaunts it, especially when Cara is in clear sight. Like now. We have to walk right by her to get to cla.s.s. I cinch my arm around Aubree's waist, and she tucks her head against my shoulder.

”You're coming to the game today, right?” I kiss her forehead.

You know I wouldn't miss it. I love watching you play.

Hit a home run, I'll give you a special reward. She runs her hand down over my crotch, leaving no room for speculation about what kind of reward she has in mind. I glance at Cara, who quickly turns her face away. But she saw.

That gives me some strange satisfaction. All things considered, Cara shouldn't give a d.a.m.n. So what compels me to say, loudly enough so that she (and everyone else nearby) can hear, ”b.l.o.w. .j.o.b for one homer. All the way in for two. Deal?”

People are waiting for her answer. And when it comes, it's all Aubree. Deal. As long as it doesn't turn me into a Les. Bi. An.

Totally directed at Cara, who shoves her face into her locker. ”No worries.

I happen to know gay. You're not.” Laughter echoes down the corridor, and I almost feel sorry for Cara. But not quite.

The Rumor Hits Full Force By lunchtime. It's pa.s.sed on to me by (who else?) Aubree.

Did you hear what happened to Jenna Mathieson? Some guy raped her. Cut her up, too.

”Kendra's sister?” Pretty little thing, all flesh and curves, usually sneaking out of her clothes.

Can't say it's a total surprise.

”What happened? Is she okay?”

I heard she was hanging outside of Safeway, b.u.mming beer, and he forced her into his car.

Guess it was pretty ugly. A jogger heard her screaming and banged on the window, or she might be dead now. G.o.d, do you know what he did?She goes on to give me a hideous description of all the ways rape can be done.

See what you missed, whispers GBME. You could have tried ...

I force myself not to engage him. Last thing I need is Aubree thinking I'm a whack job too.

She won't be back at school this year,Aubree finishes.

Someone said it took over five hundred st.i.tches to close up all the wounds. G.o.d. The scars!

That's what rape is. Not what happened with Cara. She wanted ...

You mean she asked for it, says GBME. But you think Jenna asked for it too. Just in a different way.

”Shut the f.u.c.k up!” I yell.

What? demands Aubree.

”No. Not you. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to ... never mind.” What have I done now?

GBME: You really need to stop yelling at yourself. People think ...

It's obvious what Aubree thinks.

Are you nuts or what? But then she smiles. I kind of like crazy guys. They're hot. Come here.

She kisses me, and it's totally hot, and if that makes her crazy, I kind of like it too. I am so hitting a couple of home runs.

I just hope I can claim my reward without GBME giving commentary.

Andre

Crazy To dream of her still.

To wake, s.h.i.+vering desire, and wonder if she is dreaming of you, despite all odds.

Crazy, waiting for her return, when you were the one who walked away. Pushed through the pain. Spring days are growing longer, reaching for summer. What plans you made for elastic afternoons, stretched long to lean against moon-shadowed evenings.

Crazy, remembering how her smile thawed your winter heart, when what you must do to salvage your sanity is forget her.

What Have You Done?

Tempted fate once too often. Tempted the wrong man. Dangled your bait in the wrong place, and the wrong fish took it right off the hook. Oh, Jenna!

Why couldn't I save you?

Why couldn't I make you love me enough?