Part 39 (1/2)

”Um...okay. Thanks.” I spring to my feet because it looks like she's about to start asking me more questions. I start hurrying away, throwing a ”It was nice to meet you!” over my shoulder. I make sure to give Dean's father a wide berth. Not that he even looks up from his phone.

I know I'm being unforgivably rude to the poor woman, but I just can't handle an inquisition right now. What am I gonna say? Yes, Johnny and I were together-until he cheated on me with an ex-girlfriend and a was.h.i.+ng machine. Then he tried to get me back, I had drunken s.e.x with his best friend, he had s.e.x with everyone else-and then, for the big finale, I kissed his stepbrother, and got caught red...lipped. You'd think this kind of drama happens only on trashy TV shows. It's not nearly as fun in real life.

I don't go home. I hang around outside the hospital, sitting on a brick planter outside the lobby, and just staring off into s.p.a.ce for a while. I'm half-hoping, half-dreading that I'll run into Dean here. I'm positive that he's around somewhere. I wish I had the nerve to ask Johnny's mother if he came.

d.a.m.n it, how could Johnny have been so stupid?! He could have been killed-what the h.e.l.l was he thinking?! I'm just so p.i.s.sed at him...really, really p.i.s.sed. And what kind of issues does he have with his knee? Is it going to affect his ability to play football? Are any of the colleges still going to want him after this?

”What did you do, Johnny?” I mutter out loud, dropping my head into my hands.

My mom texts me, and is irritated to discover I'm still at the hospital. She convinces me to meet her for breakfast before her s.h.i.+ft starts, so I head to the cafeteria. I suddenly realize I'm starving, and the food's not bad. When I almost fall asleep in my French toast sticks, Mom orders me to go home and get some rest. After getting a look at myself in the reflection in my phone, I decide to do what I'm told. At least long enough for me to get a shower because, d.a.m.n.

I call Dad to let him know I'm not coming over, and he a.s.sures me that I'll be missed by him and Cherise. Eh. I ask him about Mich.e.l.le, and his voice grows concerned. I promise to call her tonight to see how she's doing. After I hang up with him, I jump into the shower, where I finally give in to the tears that I've been holding back since finding out about Johnny.

I feel better when I come out. When I check my phone, I'm overjoyed to find a text from him. He wants me to see me! I immediately text him back, letting him know I'm on my way. He's okay, and he wants to see me! Relief floods through me like a warm tide.

The first thing I notice when I walk in his room is all the flowers. They're on every available surface: the rolling bed table, the window sill, the cabinet against the wall...geez. I didn't even think to stop at the gift shop, which should be open by now.

Johnny is sitting up in bed, wearing the same lovely hospital gown I sported not so long ago. Except it somehow looks better on him. His face is a mess, bruised and swollen, but I don't know how much of that is from the accident, or his fight with Dean.

I approach his bed cautiously, almost afraid to come to close. ”Hey,” I say quietly.

Johnny looks at me through the one eye that isn't swollen shut. ”Hey, Teeny,” he rasps weakly.

I creep closer, and cautiously lean against the side bars of the bed. ”I would ask how you're feeling, but I think I can see for myself. c.r.a.p, Johnny.”

”I know.” He grimaces, s.h.i.+fting awkwardly under the blanket. ”When I decide to f.u.c.k up, I do it big. I've ruined everything, Teeny.”

”No, you haven't,” I say sharply. ”You're still alive, aren't you? As long as you're still here, nothing's ruined. Everything can be fixed.”

”Not everything.” He lets out a bitter chuckle. ”I screwed my knee up. I can forget my full ride to Alabama-or anywhere for that matter. They're not gonna touch me after this, especially since I was drunk when it happened.”

I grip the bars tightly. ”How bad is your knee?”

”Bad enough they have to open it up to fix it. It'll take a couple of months to heal, but there's no guarantee it will ever be the same again. f.u.c.k.” He groans softly, letting his head slam back against the pillows propping him up. ”I'm such a screw-up,” he whispers, his eyes closed.

I mentally harden myself so I don't give into tears and blubber all over him. ”Football's not the only career out there, you know,” I snap. ”It's not like it's your life. You said so yourself-it's a means to an end. So, you're not going to end up in the NFL will a million dollar contract. There are other things you're good at, Johnny. You could still have a career in sports medicine.”

”That's not the point,” he mutters, his eyes still closed. ”I let a lot of people down. I made my mom cry. She hasn't cried since that day the a.s.shole left us.”

”So you can make it up to her by growing the h.e.l.l up,” I say firmly. ”You screwed up-okay, fine! Now fix it. Use your recovery time to do some soul-searching, or something. You're self-destructive, I get it. So go see your mom's therapist, like you were talking about doing! Find a constructive hobby! Stop drinking, for G.o.d's sake!”

”Teeny. Ow.”

I suddenly realize that I'm in his face, half-leaning on him, putting pressure on the leg that feels like it's wrapped up, or has a brace on it under the blanket. I hastily jump back.

”Sorry!”

Johnny peers at me with his one good eye. ”Are you gonna start swinging on me now?” he asks tentatively. I'm relieved to hear amus.e.m.e.nt creeping into his voice.

Exhausted from my little outburst, I collapse into one of the chairs next to his bed. ”I just might, if you keep doing dumba.s.s things like this,” I reply primly.

”I'm really going to try not to,” he says after a thoughtful pause. ”Sorry I'm such a dumba.s.s.”

”Well, you're still alive, so you're forgiven.” I glare at him. ”Just don't do it again.”

Johnny sighs, long and deep. ”Just...don't give up on me, okay?”

”You're not getting rid of me that easily.” I reach through the bars and squeeze one of his hands.

He laces his fingers through mine, and we hold hands in companionable silence. Just when I think he's fallen asleep on me, he starts talking again.

”I need to tell you something.”

I sit up straight, alerted by the nervous tone in his voice. ”What is it?”

He clears his throat. ”First, can you hand me that jug? My throat's dry as s.h.i.+t.”

I hand it to him wordlessly, and he takes a big drink. He gives it back to me, and I put it back on his table. Then I look at him expectantly. Obviously he's about to say something I'm not going to like, so I inwardly brace myself.

”Dean's the one who pointed you out to me.”

”What?” I frown in confusion. ”What are you talking about?”

”Before we met.” Johnny runs a bruised hand through his messy hair. ”Me and Dean, we were hanging out-I forget where-and we were talking about girls. He'd just turned down this really hot chick, and I was ragging on him for being so d.a.m.n picky, and never wanting to date. Then-then you walk by, and Dean nods at you, and goes, 'I'm waiting for her. She's the perfect one.'”

I suddenly feel as though I've been punched in the chest. ”What?!” I say, even more incredulously this time.

”So I ask him why he's not making a move on you, then-and he said he's waiting for the right time. Then he wouldn't say anything else about it-didn't even try to get your name or number-nothing. He never mentioned that he knew you from before.” Johnny looks over at me. ”A couple days later, you nearly ran me over with your car. I recognized you right away.”

”Is that why you asked me out?” I whisper, meeting his one good eye.

He visibly winces. ”Dean and I-we had a little compet.i.tion going on back then. We were always trying to one-up each other. I don't know...I wanted to mess with him a little. I thought you were really cute, and-and I thought, how shocked would he be if I showed up with you at the house?”

”I had good intentions in the beginning, I swear. After I p.i.s.sed him off a little, I was going to hook you two up. I didn't...I never expected to like you so much.”

Something inside of me just shrivels up and dies. ”So, the only reason you asked me out in the first place was to mess with Dean?” I ask shakily.

”Yeah,” he admits in a low voice. ”I mean, I probably would have asked you out, anyway, because you're so pretty and sweet. But at the time...yeah, it was because of Dean.”

I lower my head, because I can't look at him anymore. My hands tremble with the need for violence, so I ruthlessly ball them into fists. ”And that night you guys were fighting, when you said he promised not to go after me?”

”I had to swear I'd never hurt you.” Johnny's voice is profound with shame.

Oh, my G.o.d. I lean my forehead against the side of the bed. All this time...why didn't Dean say something? And the way I treated him in the beginning! And now-G.o.d, I've been such a b.i.t.c.h! No wonder he- ”Say something, Teeny.”

I stand up abruptly, glaring so ferociously at Johnny that he recoils a little. ”I'm going to go right now,” I announce. ”But I will be coming back, and we're going to figure out how to straighten up the freaking mess you've made of your life so far-and it's probably going to involve something that starts and ends with the letter 'A.' So you'd better be prepared to just nod and smile when I bring you the brochures! Also, when you're feeling better, we're going to have a long talk about what you've just told me-but that's going to wait until you're healed enough that I don't feel bad about kicking you in the junk.”