Vol 1 Chapter 11 (1/2)
Final Chapter
Welcome to the NHK!
It beca
Of course, I was holed up in my room
Why?! Why am I holed up?! Get hold of yourself! Do some honest work! I
tried taking out er on myself in this way; of course, it's never so
easy to escape fro a hikikomori
I still suffered from the neuroses that attacked me, the desire to kill
myself that would boil silently to the surface, and all the other sorts of
proble raised or my favorite convenience store
closing) On top of all that, I had uard job tomorrow It
was a complete pain in the ass
I was depressingly worried
Regardless, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom outside my
college students walked past the front of my apartment I
felt as though I had been abandoned by the whole world, as though I
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227
were being mocked by the entire human race
For example, Yamazaki had sent me a postcard recently A
photograph printed on the card showed Ya widely, with
a beautiful girl He'd written, ”Oh, I think I ht be just about ready to
get et set up
with soet married early) And because I
didn't really have a choice, I had a ed just once, and look!
She's perfect!”
It see
lolicon could be blessed with happiness
Die Go to hell
Next was the New Year's card sent by the female upperclassman:
”Our house is a huge mansion We're in love I'm about to have a baby”
She really seemed happy
Go to hell
And on top of all that, Misaki's life, too, noasin a truly
upward direction When she had returned to her uncle's house,
naturally, she had been severely scolded She seemed to have sunk into a
reflection about the incident that was deeper than the ocean Eventually,
at some point, she came to talk to me about it ”How do you think I
could apologize properly?”
”Shouldn't it be enough for you just to live a healthy life?”
”I've caused more trouble than I can even completely understand, so
that just won't cut it, okay? I need so to, you know,
wholeheartedly deies”
”Your uncle is a rather wealthy man, isn't he? If so, then what about
studying and going to college? Thinking back, didn't you pass your
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college entrance exams?”
I just gave her so about it too
deeply Then, several months after that, my advice had become part of
her reality She was planning to begin college starting this spring Of
course, the school was obviously one that even I could have attended
based on exam percentile, so it wasn't that much of a surprise, but
Either way, that girl would be a college student while I remained a
freeter and a hikikomori
Ah, I can't take it Go to hell, all of you!
They say that curses cos
back down and tried wishi+ng for everyone's happiness, ”Even if you fall
into hell, keep trying, all of you”
I, too, planned on trying, little by little
The reason for that was on a scrap of paper I had here
It was a contract, e ripped out of the secret
notebook To fulfill the contract, I had no choice but to try
That night
I had jumped, and then I'd landed abruptly I had landed on top of
the wire netting set up around the cliff to prevent accidents The frame
had been buried into the rocky cliff itself,a hook shape As
expected for a sightseeing spot, they had gone out of their way to mount
the fence in such a way that the beautiful vieas left unspoiled And as
expected for a sightseeing spot, there was absolutely no fault to be found
with the safety measures
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229
I wanted to cry
I cried
I wanted to die, but I couldn't die If I could step out with only one
foot, then this time, I could fly for sure It was impossible I couldn't do
it Both ofviolently, and the sound of my heart
beating was ridiculously loud I felt terrible, I was nauseated, and I didn't
want to be there anymore
I was crying out for so that I
wanted to die Kill ht I wished for someone to push
me
I didn't want to go home and shut myself up in my apartment, and I
didn't want to see Misaki's face I didn't want to think about anything
confusing, and I didn't want to experience any more pain I just wanted
to die right then
I scratched my head, curled up my body, and then I bent backward
It was humorous and pathetic I looked like an idiot Each time the wind
blew, I dropped to all fours and clung to the fence I was frightened I
was scared of falling I got chills just fro doard
Below the netting was the Sea of japan The waves were rough Help
h at me What should I do? Don't screw
around with me! Don't look! Don't look over here! Why are you crying? I'm the
one ants to cry
Misaki stuck her face out over the edge of the cliff and looked down
at me
I covered my face with both hands I didn't knohat to do I didn't
want any race in my life
Stretching herself out over the cliff edge, Misaki held out her hand
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She was trying to save me The look on her face said that she pitied me
Swiping away her outstretched hand, I puton the rock wall and
climbed up the cliff by myself I slipped on frozen sections several times,
landing oneach time On my third try, I succeeded
at cli about seven feet up the cliff
I collapsed on the edge Misaki stood in front of me