Part 18 (1/2)
”He sent my old nurse to fetch me away, and I confided the truth to her with many tears. She was very anxious to make a scene, give 'madame' a piece of her mind in the presence of her pupils; but I was so glad to get away from the school that I prevented her carrying out her intentions. I told her I should not be believed. The fact was, one of the elder girls told me I was very foolish to make so much fuss about a kiss. The music master kisses me,' she continued, 'and all the others who are pretty,' as he says. Still, we are much too sensible to tell any one, for he lends us French novels forbidden by madame, and improvises invitations for us when we want to go out: in short, he is ready to do us all kinds of services that we could not trust to a servant of the establishment. What folly to make such a man your enemy!
”I have since met this same girl--Leontine was her name--in society, and experienced the advantages of her education. She was ever very polite to my face, and calumniated me directly my back was turned. Thus, you see, under these forms of decorum all kinds of lies and infamy are hidden.”
”Francis, I am quite of your opinion that a man's fine manners are no guarantee of his morality or uprightness; but do you think society would be improved by turning all its sin, wretchedness, and ugliness to the surface?”
”It is certain we should then fly from it in disgust and horror.”
”But every one cannot fly from it. There are people who are obliged to live in society; and, provided that we do not become its dupe, it is better that what you call the mantle of decorum should give to social life an aspect which renders it supportable.”
As we returned from the ruin the sky had become misty, and the sun was setting behind the clouds, its presence being only marked by the orange and purple rays struggling through the mist; the fields were already invisible under this wet sheet of nature's procuring. It was time for us to seek shelter from such humidity as surrounded us. Francis proposed to enter the house with all speed.
CHAPTER XXIII.
Now that Francis was once in the humour to give me the history of her past life, I encouraged her to continue her story.
She went on to say that a Swiss governess was engaged to teach her needlework and other ladylike accomplishments.
”My father,” she said, ”seeing all his plans foiled by the unexpected visit of my English aunt, left me entirely in the hands of my governess. And as I no longer wrote a letter every year to the old uncle telling him of my progress in fencing and horsemans.h.i.+p, and signing myself Francis Mordaunt (I had been told this was the accepted orthography in England), Sir John received no more bills of exchange from that source. It was these bills of exchange which had enabled him to keep up such an expensive establishment. He ought now to have adopted a plainer style of living; but he preferred drawing upon his capital.
”I thought it my duty to write to Aunt Ellen, and to tell her the truth about my having left the school. She answered me in affectionate terms, and enclosed the annual fifty pounds with many exhortations to industry and much good advice. She even promised me I should come to London on a visit, as she had much to tell me. But, alas! next year she died, and my pension ceased--nor have I ever heard a word of my English relations since.
”Mademoiselle Ch.e.l.les, my governess, was a woman of tact, and won my affection and esteem. In the long walks we took together our conversation was confidential, and she spoke of the sufferings of the poor, and the pleasures to be derived from relieving them; in short, she showed me the serious side of life in a manner no one else had ever done before. She inspired me with a love for the beauties of nature, and awoke the better feelings which, thus far, had lain dormant; a.s.sisting me in my preparation for confirmation. Perhaps she would have succeeded in extirpating 'Major Frank' altogether, but that my nurse grew jealous of her influence; and, worse still, Rolf, now promoted to the rank of lieutenant, fell in love with her. She could not bear the grand soudard, the 'ogre,' as she called him; for his manners frightened her, and he made his offer in such a maladroit fas.h.i.+on that she walked off to my father, and said she would leave the house if ever that man were allowed to put his foot into it again. This, as everybody said, was a.s.suming the 'high tone'
on her part. Grandfather and nurse were on Rolf's side, and my father answered--'It's only a governess, let her go.' I myself said little for her; I was too anxious to regain my ancient liberty--though I have since known the loss I sustained in losing her. I was young then; my father ought to have known better. Even to the present day this is one of my grudges against Rolf.
”Again I became 'Major Frank.' I accompanied my father on his rides, and I saw he was proud of my horsemans.h.i.+p. Sometimes we hunted together, and when he allowed me to drive I was ever ready to show off my daring and skill. In the meantime my nurse died, and now, indeed, I felt the truth of her words--that she was the only person in the world who really loved me. I had to take her place, and fulfil the duties of mistress in the household. My father was expecting a visitor from England----”
She stopped abruptly, and fixing her beautiful blue eyes on me with a strange expression, asked--
”Leopold, have you been in the society of women much?”
”When I lived with my mother I saw many of her friends and visitors; but since----”
”That's not the question. I ask you if, like most men, you have sometimes suffered from the intermittent fever called love?”
”I have done my best, cousin, to escape it. Knowing myself to be too poor to maintain a wife in these expensive times, I have always observed a strict reserve in my relations with them in order not to be led away from my principles.”
”Then you have never been 'pa.s.sion's slave,' as Hamlet puts it.”
”My time has always been too much occupied for anything of the sort.”
”So much the better for you; but I am sorry for myself, because you will not be able to give me the information I am seeking.”