Part 33 (1/2)

Though I guess he was, in a gross-even-if-I-never-see-him-he's-still-my-dad-so-shut-up kind of way. I mean, he was forty-two, which wasn't that old, and he was in good shape. I got my curls from him, though he wore them close-cropped and darker. And I supposed it was attractive that he usually had a big smile on his face. You know, when I wasn't making him cry. But still ... his name was Leonard Leonard. And he was my dad.

”Where are Lisa and the boys?” I asked as if I cared.

”They went out. Spring break-Lisa took them to the park.”

That's what he said, but the obvious truth was that the Bar Wench had jumped s.h.i.+p so she wouldn't have to face me. Given that I had zero desire to see her, it made no sense that I'd feel hurt by this-but I kind of did.

Trista had finished her water now and looked around the kitchen. ”Your house is beautiful,” she told my dad. ”Is it true you and Lisa designed it yourselves?”

Dad looked surprised-and a little proud?-that I had clearly shared this information with Trista. ”Yeah, we did. A long time ago, but ... hey, would you like a tour?”

”I'd love one,” Trista said.

Dad's tour didn't hold any surprises for me, but for Trista I could see it was a revelation. She especially loved the bas.e.m.e.nt. It was fully finished and carpeted, and the bulk of it was split into two large rooms. The first held a pool table, large-screen TV, and giant sectional couch. From there you could traipse down two steps to the other room: a fully functioning pub, complete with bar, jukebox, fireplace, dance floor, wine cellar, and several small tables. The rest of the bas.e.m.e.nt held two bathrooms, plus several little nooks outfitted with couches and other intimate seating arrangements.

”Magnetic?” I asked her.

” Very magnetic. This is exactly what you need.”

So now I had my mission. I had to spend enough quality time with Dad that I could ask to host a party at his house- without the presence of him, the Bar Wench, or their kids.

And without telling Karl or Mom what I was doing. They would freak out.

I ended up making three lunch dates with Dad during spring break. Lunches were the best times to catch him. He was a workaholic, but he always needed to eat.

Lunches were best for me, too, since I was half-grounded. Mom and Karl had received my latest report card, and the news was not good: Bs and Cs. They immediately cut off my weekends at The Hang and demanded I be home for dinner each night. I tried to make a case that the punishment should start after spring break since it's not as if I had any schoolwork to do, but they warned me I was treading on thin ice. Unless I wanted my sentence to grow exponentially worse, I'd stop fighting them about it. Hence, lunches with Dad.

I worried at first that I wouldn't have anything to say to him. It's not like we had a ton in common. He didn't read, we didn't know the same people, and we didn't hang out at the same places. But Dad loved being social, and he adored being the life of the party. So as long as I made every one of our lunches a party, it was a huge success. I always brought along at least three of the Populazzi, and for the last lunch of the break, I brought the whole gang.

Dad was thrilled to fete us with a hugely decadent lunch at his favorite steak place. He even ordered drinks for all of us, promising to pay for cabs both to take us home and to help us fetch our cars when we sobered up. He talked baseball with the guys, he laughed with the girls ... The only bad part of the whole meal was when Ree-Ree got up to go to the ladies' room. She stopped at my chair to whisper in my ear, ”Gemma and I made a bet to see which of us can bed your dad.”

”Ew! No!” I shouted. Everyone looked at me as Ree- Ree waved and took off, leaving me to try to explain my outburst, which of course I couldn't do. Though the more I thought about it, the more I figured I'd have a better relations.h.i.+p with my dad if either Gemma or Ree-Ree were my stepmother instead of the Bar Wench.

But then I'd have to see my dad's name on the List. And whichever one got him would spill about everything they were doing in bed.

Ew. So ew.

As lunch came to an end, Dad looked at me from across the table. His eyes were a little misty, and I couldn't tell if that was from emotion or the two Crown Royals on the rocks he'd had with his steak and potato.

”Cair, baby,” he said, ”I don't know what triggered it, but I'm glad you came back to me.”

Suddenly my head got very crowded. The daddy-adoring four-year-old me melted and wanted to race into his arms for a huge hug and a cathartic cry. The angry me wanted to spit in his face for having the gall to think a few laughs and expensive meals made up for an entire childhood of disappointments. Mom and Karl were in my head, too, warning me not to believe a word Dad said. ”I'm the one who was there for you!” in-my-head-Karl screamed. ”Sperm Donor! Sperm Donor!” screeched in-my-head-Mom. ”Ask him about the party!” hissed in-my-head-Trista.

”Ow!” I winced. Someone had kicked me in the s.h.i.+n. It was Trista, and her hiss hadn't been in my head at all. She nodded toward Dad-now was the time.

”So, Dad,” I began, diving into yet another script Trista had written for me, ”I wonder if I could ask you a favor...”

”Anything, baby. Anything.”

”Wow, okay, um ... we were all talking,” I said, ”and we really wanted to have a spring party, but we couldn't figure out a good location...”

I was already off-script. I was hemming and hawing and hedging and trying to get back to that No Emotion place in my head, but it was hard. I was riddled with emotion. Guilt that I was being nice to Dad behind Karl's and Mom's backs. Guilt that I was using Dad for his house. Anger that I was feeling guilty when Dad deserved for me to use him. I could barely get my tongue around it all to speak.

”What, you want to use the house?” Dad asked.

I scanned his voice for indignation. There didn't seem to be any. In fact, he seemed to be more offering than asking.

”Um ... yeah. I mean, if we can...”

”We'd love to!” Trista said. ”Thanks so much, Lenny!”

”No problem,” he said. ”Just let me know when so I can make sure Lise and I don't already have it booked.”

”We'll work around you, of course!” Trista said. ”A Sat.u.r.day night would be best. Whatever one's good for you.”

Dad pulled out his phone and tapped a quick note. ”Done. Just e-mailed Lisa.” He looked at me. ”I'll call and let you know what she says.”

Dad wasn't the one who called me. Lisa called me.

”This is not your house,” she said. ”Do not think this is ever going to happen again.”

That's what she said. What I heard was that I was having a party at the house!

”Got it. So what day would be best for you?”

”April twenty-fourth.”

I had already hung up and was about to call Trista when I realized the horror of that date. It was the day before my lunch with Dean Jaffe of Northwestern. The interview had always been a huge deal, but ever since my less-than-stellar report card, Karl had been drilling into my head that it now meant everything. Only the strongest recommendation from the dean, plus an immediate upswing in my GPA, could secure my place at the one college that held the key to my future. There was no possible way Karl was going to let me out of the house the night before. I wouldn't be surprised if he had that whole Sat.u.r.day mapped out with a full slate of prep sessions followed by an early bedtime.

I briefly considered asking Lisa for an alternate party date, but there was no way. She'd see a request like that as the perfect out. I had to just go with it and trust that I'd find a way around the Karl issue when the time came.

Meanwhile, Trista and I had planning to do. We'd agreed that making the party a successful transition of power required finesse. Everyone, including the Populazzi, had to know that I was the one putting it together. Yet to make it magnetic enough, Trista had to secretly call the shots.

Her first priority was my guest list. It was a work in progress. She e-mailed me the first draft while we talked on the phone and played with it over the next couple days until she was satisfied.

There were lots of people on the list I didn't know, but I wasn't surprised by most of her picks. Naturally, I'd invite the Populazzi from every cla.s.s, including the seniors. All the upper-level Cubby Crews who had made the cut for Eddie's party were invited, though Kristie's now-ex-boyfriend Eric was not. The DangerZones were in, with the notable exceptions of Nate Wetherill and his now-DangerZone girlfriend, Dinah. Even some college kids were on Trista's list, mostly recent Chrysella alums who'd been Populazzi. Some Populazzi from nearby schools made the cut, too. The Pennsbrook Populazzi, thankfully, were too far away to be on Trista's radar.

Everyone on the list would jump at a chance to come to a Trista Camello spring party, but we needed them just as eager to come to mine, even though some key people on the list barely knew me or didn't know me at all. We decided to do a Facebook event invitation that included a totally hot picture of Trista and me together and said flat-out that Trista was canceling her spring party this year because mine would be so much better.

Aside from the Facebook invitation, Trista wanted to invite two people via a separate e-mail: Seth Minkoff and Jordan Ross. They were weird picks. I knew Seth-or at least I knew of him. He was in my physics cla.s.s. I had always thought of him and Jordan as hard-core Computer Dorks, barely a Tower tier above Robert Schwarner and Gabe Friedman. I had even seen the two of them barreling down the hall singing Monty Python's ”The Lumberjack Song.”

Dressed in red flannel lumberjack s.h.i.+rts.

On several occasions.

I couldn't fathom why Trista wanted them, but she said she always included a couple of charity cases on her guest lists. It was her way of giving back. I sent them an e-mail and invited them.