Part 85 (2/2)
”There is little difference,” said Tom, ”between this place as a market for horses, and any similar mart in the kingdom,
Here the friend and the brother Meet to humbug each other,
except that perhaps a little more refinement on the arts of gulling may be found; and it is no very uncommon thing for a stolen nag to be offered for sale in this market almost before the knowledge of his absence is ascertained by the legal owner.--I have already given you some information on the general character of horse-dealers during our visit to Tattersal's; but every species of trick and low chicanery is practised, of which numerous instances might be produced; and though I admit good horses are sometimes to be purchased here, it requires a man to be perfectly upon his guard as to who he deals with, and how he deals, although the regulations of the market are, generally speaking, good.”
”I wouldn't have him at no price,” said a costermonger, who it appeared was bargaining for a donkey; ”the h------y sulkey b------ von't budge, he's not vorth a fig out of a horses------.”
”I knows better as that 'are,” cried a chimney-sweeper; ”for no better an't no vare to be had; he's long backed and strong legged. Here, Bill, you get upon him, and give him rump steaks, and he'll run like the devil a'ter a parson.”
Here Bill, a little blear-eyed chimney-sweeper, mounted the poor animal, and belaboured him most unmercifully, without producing any other effect than kicking up behind, and most effectually placing poor Bill in the
~~218~~~ mud, to the great discomfiture of the donkey seller, and the mirth of the spectators. The animal brayed, the byestanders laughed, and the bargain, like poor Bill, was off.
After a complete turn round Smithfield, hearing occasionally the chaffing of its visitants, and once or twice being nearly run over, they took their departure from this scene of bustle, bargaining, and confusion, taking their way down King-street, up Holborn Hill, and along Great Queen-street.
”Now,” said Tom, ”we will have a look in at Covent Garden Theatre; the Exile is produced there with great splendour. The piece is certainly got up in a style of the utmost magnificence, and maintains its ground in the theatre rather upon that score than its really interesting dialogue, though some of the scenes are well worked up, and have powerful claims upon approbation. The original has been altered, abridged, and (by some termed) amended, in order to introduce a gorgeous coronation, a popular species of entertainment lately.”
Upon entering the theatre, Tallyho was almost riveted in attention to the performance, and the latter scene closed upon him with all its splendid pageantry before he discovered that his Cousin had given him the slip, and a das.h.i.+ng cyprian of the first order was seated at his elbow, with whom entering into a conversation, the minutes were not measured till Dashall's return, who perceiving he was engaged, appeared inclined to retire, and leave the cooing couple to their apparently agreeable tete-a-tete. Bob, however, observing him, immediately wished his fair incognita good night, and joined his Cousin.
”D------d dull,” said Tom,--”all weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable.”
”But very grand,” rejoined Bob.
”I have found nothing to look at,” replied Tom; ”I have hunted every part of the House, and only seen two persons I know.”
”And I,” said Tallyho, ”have been all the while looking at the piece.”
”Which piece do you mean, the one beside you, or the one before you?”
”The performance--The Coronation.”
”I have had so much of that,” said Tom, ”that finding you so close in attention to the stage, that I could get no ~~219~~~ opportunity of speaking to you, I have been hunting for other game, and have almost wearied myself in the pursuit without success; so that I am for quitting the premises, and making a call at a once celebrated place near at hand, which used to be called the Finish. Come along, therefore, unless you have 'mettle more attractive;' perhaps you have some engagements?”
”None upon earth to supersede the one I have with you,” was the reply.
Upon which they left the House, and soon found themselves in Covent Garden Market. ”This,” said Tom, ”has been the spot of many larks and sprees of almost all descriptions, ana election wit has been as cheap in the market as any of the vegetables of the venders; but I am going to take you to a small house that has in former times been the resort of the greatest wits of the age. Sheridan, Fox, and others of their time, have not disdained to be its inmates, nor is it now deserted by the votaries of genius, though considerably altered, and conducted in a different manner: it still, however, affords much amus.e.m.e.nt and accommodation. It was formerly well known by the appellation of the _Finish_, and was not opened till a late hour in the night, and, as at the present moment, is generally shut up between 11 and 12 o'clock, and re-opened for the accommodation of the market people at 4 in the morning. The most respectable persons resident in the neighbourhood a.s.semble to refresh themselves after the labours of the day with a gla.s.s of ale, spirits, or wine, as they draw no porter. The landlord is a pleasant fellow enough, and there is a pretty neat dressing young la.s.s in the bar, whom I believe to be his sister--this is the house.”
”House,” said Bob, ”why this is a deviation from the customary buildings of London; it appears to have no up stairs rooms.”
”Never mind that,” continued Dashall, ”there is room enough for us, I dare say; and after your visit to the Woolpack, I suppose you can stand smoke, if you can't stand fire.”
By this time they had entered the Carpenter's Arms, when turning short round the bar, they found themselves in a small room, pretty well filled with company, enjoying their gla.s.ses, and puffing their pipes: in the right hand corner sat an undertaker, who having just obtained a victory over his opposite neighbour, was humming a stave ~~220~~~ to himself indicative of his satisfaction at the result of the contest, which it afterwards appeared was for two mighty's;{1} while his opponent was shrugging up his shoulders with a feeling of a very different kind.
”It's of no use,” said Jemmy,{2} as they called him, ”for you to enter the lists along with me, for you know very well I must have you at last.”
”And no doubt it will prove a good fit,” said an elderly shoemaker of respectable appearance, who seemed to command the reverence of the company, ”for all of us are subject to the _pinch_.”
”There's no certainty of his a.s.sertion, however,” replied the unsuccessful opponent of Jemmy.
”Surely not,”{3} said another most emphatically, taking a pinch of snuff, and offering it to the shoemaker; ”for you know Jemmy may come to the finch before John.”
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