Part 85 (1/2)

He is a banker, a loan-monger, and a contractor, a member of Parliament, and an orator; added to which, he may be said to be a man of wit and humour--at all events he is the cause of it in others. His first occupations have procured him great wealth, and his wit and humour great fame.

”The worthy Alderman's hospitality to the late good humoured and gossiping James Boswell, the humble follower and biographer of Dr.

Johnson, is well known; and it is probable that the pleasures of the table, in which no man more joyously engaged, shortened his life. To write the life of a great man is no easy task, and to write that of a big one may be no less arduous. Whether the Alderman really expected to be held up to future fame by the Biographer of Johnson, cannot be very easily ascertained; however that wish and expectation, if it ever existed, was completely frustrated by the death of poor Boswell.

”I recollect to have seen some lines of the worthy Alderman, on the glorious victory of the Nile, which shew at once his patriotism, his wit, and his resolution, in that he is not to be laughed out of the memorable toast he once gave--

”Great Nelson, in the grandest stile, Bore down upon the sh.o.r.es of Nile, And there obtained a famous victory, Which puzzled much the French Directory.

The impudence of them there fellows, As all the newspapers do tell us, Had put the grand Turk in a pet, Which caus'd him send to Nelson an aigrette; Likewise a grand pelisse, a n.o.ble boon-- Then let us hope--a speedy peace and soon.”{1}

1 Whether the following lines are from the same hand or not, we are unable to ascertain; at least they wear a great similarity of character:

I give you the three glorious C's.

Our Church, Const.i.tution, and King; Then fill up three b.u.mpers to three n.o.ble Vs.

Wine, Women, and Whale fish-ing.

~~215~~~ ”Egad,” said Bob, ”if this be true, he appears to knock up rhymes almost as well as he could bake biscuits” (smothering a laugh.)

”Why,” replied Dashall, ”I believe that it has not been positively ascertained that these lines, which unlike other poetry, contain no fiction, but plain and undeniable matter of fact, were wholly indicated by the worthy Alderman; indeed it is not impossible but that his wors.h.i.+p's barber might have had a hand in their composition. It would be hard indeed, if in his operations upon the Alderman's pericranium, he should not have absorbed some of the effluvia of the wit and genius contained therein; and in justice to this operator on his chin and caput, I ought to give you a specimen which was produced by him upon the election of his Lords.h.i.+p to the Mayoralty--

”Our present Mayor is William Curtis, A man of weight and that your sort is.”

”This epigrammatic distich, which cannot be said to be dest.i.tute of point, upon being read at table, received, as it deserved, a large share of commendation; and his Lords.h.i.+p declared to the company present, that it had not taken his barber above three hours to produce it extempore.”

Tallyho laughed heartily at these satirical touches upon the poor Alderman.

”However,” continued Tom, ”a man with plenty of money can bear laughing at, and sometimes laughs at himself, though I suspect he will hardly laugh or produce a laugh in others, by what he stated in his seat in the House of Commons, on the subject of the riots{1} at Knightsbridge.

I suspect his wit and good humour will hardly protect him in that instance.”

1 On a motion made by Mr. Favell in the Court of Common Council, on the 21st of March, the following resolution was pa.s.sed, indicative of the opinion that Court entertained of the conduct of Alderman Curtis on the occasion here alluded to:

”That Sir William Curtis, Bart, having acknowledged in his place in this Court, that a certain speech now read was delivered by him in the House of Commons, in which, among other matters which he stated respecting the late riot at Knightsbridge, he said, 'That he had been anxious that a Committee should investigate this question, because he wished to let the world know the real character of this Great Common Council, who were always meddling with matters which they had nothing to do with, and which were far above their wisdom and energy. It was from such principles they had engaged in the recent inquiry, which he would contend they had no right to enter upon. Not only was evidence selected, but questions were put to draw such answers as the party putting them desired.'

”That the conduct of Sir William Curtis, one of the repre- sentatives of this City in Parliament, lias justly merited the censure and indignation of this Court and of his fellow Citizens.”

~~216~~~ After taking a cursory look into the Chamberlain's Office, the Court of King's Bench and Common Pleas, they took their departure from Guildhall, very well satisfied with their morning's excursion.

It was between three and four o'clock when our friends left the Hall.

Tom Dashalt, being upon the qui vive, determined to give his Cousin a chevy for the remainder of the day; and for this purpose, it being on a Friday, he proposed a stroll among the Prad-sellers in Smithfield, where, after partaking of a steak and a bottle at Dolly's, they accordingly repaired.

”You will recollect,” said Tom, ”that you pa.s.sed through Smithfield (which is our princ.i.p.al cattle market) during the time of Bartholomew Fair; but you will now find it in a situation so different, that you would scarcely know it for the same place: you will now see it full of horse-jockeys, publicans, pugilists, and lads upon the lark like ourselves, who having no real business either in the purchase or sale of the commodities of the market, are watching the manners and manouvres of those who have.”

As Tom was imparting this piece of information to his attentive Cousin, they were entering Smithfield by the way of Giltspur-street, and were met by a man having much the appearance of a drover, who by the dodging movements of his stick directly before their eyes, inspired our friends so strongly with the idea of some animal being behind them which they could not see, and from which danger was to be apprehended, that they suddenly broke from each other, and fled forward for safety, at which a roar of laughter ensued from the byestanders, who ~~217~~~ perceiving the hoax, recommended the dandies to take care they did not dirty their boots, or get near the hoofs of the _prancing prads_, Tom was not much disconcerted at this effort of practical jocularity, though his Cousin seemed to have but little relish for it.

”Come along,” said Tom, catching him by the arm, and impelling him forward, ”although this is not Bartholomew Fair time, you must consider all fair at the horse-fair, unless you are willing to put up with a horse-laugh.”

Struggling through crowds who appeared to be buying, selling, or bargaining for the lame, the broken winded, and spavined prads of various sizes, prices, and pretensions,