Part 67 (1/2)
”Here's bad luck and no blue ruin to bad masters, and leg o' mutton and turnups for trumps--that's all I got to say, so here goes.”
The toast being drank,
”Who is ve to call on now, Bill?”
”Vy, Bob Martlet's the boy to come it strong.”
Bob Martlet was accordingly called upon, but requested a few minutes to prepare himself, as he was rather hoa.r.s.e.
During this interregnum, Dashall slipped out of the room, and gave the landlord an order to place two bowls of punch on the tables, cautioning him at the same time to say nothing of the party who paid for it, but to say that a Gentleman, pa.s.sing by the door and hearing them all merry, had given an order for it at the bar.
~65~~ Upon re-entering the room, Bob Martlet, with one eye bound up and his hat in his hand, was bawling with lungs of leather,
Lovely nymph! a.s.suage my anguish, At thy feet a tender swain, Prays you will not let him languish, One kind look would ease his pain.
Did you know the lad who courts you, He not long need sue in vain-- Prince of song and dance--you Scarce will meet his like again!
As this was a song to be sung in character, Bob Martlet determined to profit by the instructions of Shakspeare, ”to suit the action to the word, and the word to the action,” and consequently at the word ”dance,”
he introduced some steps to the great entertainment of the company; but unfortunately jigging to another tune, in which all the broad brims joined, he forgot the connexion of the words, and was compelled to sing it over again, and to give his hornpipe by way of conclusion, which was accompanied by the barking of a dog.
Tallyho laughed heartily at this; the grotesque appearance of the ”tender swain,” and the dance in wooden shoes, were admirable, and highly relished by his companions. The room resounded with applauses, and it was some moments before silence could be obtained, when, lo and behold, the landlord entered the room as a peace-breaker with two bowls of punch.
Consternation and surprise were visible in every countenance. The confusion of tongues could scarcely equal the enquiries made in a moment; but the landlord, having his cue, made no reply. But there it is, will you drink it? It is all your own--and, to set you a good example, here goes--Success to trade!--and took a hearty swig from the bowl he placed before the President; then, taking the other bowl to the lower end of the room, he evaporated, but soon returned with gla.s.ses. Where he came from or how it was obtained, was banished from consideration, and to make more, the remnant of a pot of heavy wet was thrown into the bowl to mellow it, as the President observed, because vy he liked things mellow. The punch was handed about, the song and the toast pa.s.sed merrily in succession till near twelve, when an unlucky disturber of harmony, with a candle set fire to the whisker of Phill the flue faker so called from his ~66~~having in his younger days been a chimney-sweeper. Phill, who had slept during the noise of the evening, was, notwithstanding his former trade, not fire-proof, awoke in a flame, and not knowing the real depredator, upset the President, and nearly knock'd him through a window just behind him--mill'd away in all directions, growling with as much melody as he had before snored. During the confusion of this affray, Tom and Bob took their departure from Charley's Crib, which they understood was a nickname given to the place, and, throwing themselves into a rattler, soon arrived in Piccadilly, where we shall for the present leave them to their repose.
CHAPTER V
”Since Life's but a jest, let us follow the rule, There's nothing so pleasant as playing the fool, In town we may practise, as well as at school.
The world turns about the same things o'er and o'er; We fool it--our forefathers fool'd it before; They did what we do, which our sons will encore.
Life's but a half holiday, lent us to stare; We wander and wonder in vanity's fair, All, baby-like, bawling for each bawble there:
We, children like, covet the glitter of gay things, Make racket for ribbands, and such sort of play-things, Which we cannot have tho'--without we can say things.
We take, or are in all our turns, taken in; The world to be sure--'tis a shame and a sin,-- Might soon be much better--but who will begin?”
~67~~ ”LONDON,” said the Hon. Tom Dashall to his Cousin, ”abounds with so much of munificence, that notwithstanding all its intricacies and inconveniences, he who travels through life without visiting it, may justly be said to know nothing; for it is all Life, its remotest corners are full of animation, and although it is difficult to fancy how all live, there are few but could give some satisfactory information if they chose, though I am willing to believe many would rather wish to avoid interrogation. We have already explored some parts of it, but be a.s.sured there is still much to admire, much to applaud, and much to deprecate.
Our researches, after all, have been rather confined than extensive. It is such an ever varying and never ceasing mine of observation, that it is almost like the wis.h.i.+ng cap of Fortunatus, with this exception, that although every wish may be supplied, it requires something more than putting on the cap to obtain the object desired.”
~68~~ ”From what I have already seen,” replied Tallyho, ”I perfectly coincide with you in the latter part of your observation, for I have no doubt but perseverance and integrity, with some portion of ability, is sure to meet reward.”
”You are right,” continued Tom; ”many instances could be pointed out in proof of the justice of that remark: some of the greatest men of the present day have rose from the lowest origin. Shop-boys and porters have become tradesmen and merchants; shoe-blacks have become statesmen, and servants councillors. But on the other hand, many who have been born, as the old saying is, 'with a silver spoon in their mouths,' have 'fallen from their high estates,' and lingered out the latter parts of their lives in prisons or work-houses, laying the blame on fate, rather than attributing failure to their own want of ability, prudence, or active exertion. But come, I perceive the curricle is ready; let us take a spank through the City, and look a little more minutely at the mercantile world.”
This call was instantly obeyed by Tallyho, who never doubted but his Cousin had some object in view, though he frequently started from Piccadilly without being previously acquainted with it.
Pa.s.sing out at Hyde Park Corner, Bon remarked that he thought the City lay the other way.
”Never mind,” replied Dashall, ”we shall come to the point without doubt. Why, man, there are more ways than one, and I am not particularly partial to being blocked up in the public streets, amidst _knowing jarveys and cramp carmen_, sugar hogsheads, mola.s.ses, and slush carts, which is so frequently the case, when by a slight deviation from the direct way, we can give the t.i.ts a rattler on a good road without obstruction, and pocket a handful of time into the bargain.”