Part 29 (2/2)
To fill up awkward vacancies of thought, Or shew how he the orator can play Whene'er he meets with some good thing to say, Or prove his taste correct, his memory strong, Nor let his fifteen minutes seem too long: His slumbering mind no knotty point pursues, Save when contending for his t.i.thes or dues.”
Thus far, although it must be allowed that ciphers are of use, it is not every cipher that is truly useful. There are Ciphers of indolence, to which some mistaken men give the t.i.tle of men of fine parts--there are Ciphers of Self-interest, to which others more wrongfully give the name of Patriots--there are Baccha.n.a.lian Ciphers, who will not leave the bottle to save the nation, but will continue to guzzle till no one figure in Arithmetic is sufficient to support them--then there are Ciphers of Venus, who will abandon all state affairs to follow a Cyprian, even at the risk of injuring a deserving wife--Military Ciphers, who forsake the pursuit of glory, and distrustful of their own merit or courage, affirm their distrust by a sedulous attendance at the levees of men of power. In short, every man, in my humble opinion, is no other than a Cipher who does not apply his talents to the care of his morals and the benefit of his country.”
”You have been ciphering for some time,” said Boh, ”and I suppose you have now finished your sum.”
”I confess,” continued Tom, ”it has been a puzzling one--for, to make something out of nothing is impossible.”
”Not in all cases,” said Bob.
”How so?--why you have proved it by your own shewing, that these nothings are to be made something of.”
~227~~”I perceive,” replied Tom, ”that your acquaintance with Sparkle is not thrown away upon you; and it argues well, for if you are so ready a pupil at imbibing his lessons, you will soon become a proficient in London manners and conversation; but a Cipher is like a _round robin_,{1} it has neither beginning nor end: its centre is vacancy, its circle ambiguity, and it stands for nothing, unless in certain connections.”
They were now proceeding gently along Oxford Street, in pursuit of their way to Soho Square, and met with little worthy of note or remark until they arrived near the end of Newman Street, where a number of workmen were digging up the earth for the purpose of making new-drains. The pathway was railed from the road by scaffolding poles strongly driven into the ground, and securely tied together to prevent interruption from the pa.s.sengers.--Tom was remarking upon the hardihood and utility of the labourers at the moment when a fountain of water was issuing from a broken pipe, which arose as high as a two pair of stairs window, a circ.u.mstance which quickly drew a number of spectators around, and, among the rest, Tom and his Cousin could not resist an inclination to spend a few minutes in viewing the proceedings.
The Irish _jontlemen_, who made two or three ineffectual attempts to stop the breach, alternately got soused by the increased violence of the water, and at every attempt were saluted by the loud laughter of the surrounding mult.i.tude.
To feelings naturally warm and irritable, these vociferations of amus.e.m.e.nt and delight at their defeat, served but to exasperate and enrage; and the Irishmen in strong terms expressed their indignation at the merriment which their abortive attempts appeared to excite: at length, one of the _Paddies_ having cut a piece of wood, as he conceived, sufficient to stop the effusion of water, with some degree of adroitness thrust his arm into the foaming fluid, and for a moment appeared to have arrested its progress.
”_Blood-an-owns!_ Murphy,” cried he, ”scoop away the water, and be after handing over the mallet this way.” In a moment the spades of his comrades were seen in
1 Round Rubin--A Letter or Billet, so composed as to have the signatures of many persons in a circle, in order that the reader may not be able to discover which of the party signed first or last.
~228~~action to accomplish his instructions, while one, who was not in a humour to hear the taunts of the crowd, very politely scoop'd the water with his hands among the spectators, which created a general desire to avoid his liberal and plentiful besprinklings, and at the same time considerable confusion among men, women, and children, who, in effecting their escape, were seen tumbling and rolling over each other in all directions.
”Be off wid you all, and be d----d to you,” said the Hibernian; while those who were fortunate enough to escape the cooling fluid he was so indifferently dispensing, laughed heartily at their less favoured companions.
Bob was for moving onward.
”Hold,” said Dash all, ”it is two to one but you will see some fun here.”
He had scarcely said the word, when a brawny Porter in a fustian jacket, with his knot slung across his shoulder, manifested dislike to the manner in which the Irish _jontleman_ was pursuing his amus.e.m.e.nt.
”D----n your Irish eyes,” said he, ”don't throw your water here, or I'll lend you my _bunch of fives_.” {l}
”Be after being off, there,” replied Pat; and, without hesitation, continued his employment.
The Porter was resolute, and upon receiving an additional salute, jumped over the railings, and re-saluted poor Pat with a _muzzier_,{2} which drew his claret in a moment. The Irishman endeavoured to rally, while the crowd cheered the Porter and hooted the Labourer. This was the signal for hostilities. The man who had plugg'd up the broken pipe let go his hold, and the fountain was playing away as briskly as ever--all was confusion, and the neighbourhood in alarm. The workmen, with spades and pick-axes, gathered round their comrade, and there was reason to apprehend serious mischief would occur; one of them hit the Porter with his spade, and several others were prepared to follow his example; while a second, who seem'd a little more blood-thirsty than the rest, raised his pickaxe in a menacing att.i.tude; upon perceiving which, Dashall jump'd over the rail and
1 Bunch of fives--A flash term for the fist, frequently made use of among the lads of the Fancy, who address each other some-times in a friendly way, with--Ha, Bill, how goes it?-- tip us your bunch of fives, my boy.
2 Muzzier--A blow on the mouth.
~229~~arrested his arm, or, if the blow had been struck, murder must have ensued. In the mean time, several other persons, following Tom's example, had disarmed the remainder. A fellow-labourer, who had been engaged at a short distance, from the immediate scene of action, attacked the man who had raised the pickaxe, between whom a pugilistic encounter took place, the former swearing, 'By Jasus, they were a set of cowardly rascals, and deserved _quilting_.'{1} The water was flowing copiously--shovels, pickaxes, barrows, lanterns and other implements were strewed around them--the crowd increased--Tom left the combatants (when he conceived no real danger of unfair advantage being taken was to be apprehended) to enjoy their rolling in the mud; while the Porter, who had escaped the vengeance of his opponents, was explaining to those around him, and expostulating with the first aggressor, upon the impropriety of his conduct. The shouts of the mult.i.tude at the courageous proceedings of the Porter, and the hootings at the shameful and cowardly manner of defence pursued by the Labourers, roused the blood of the Irishmen, and one again seized a spade to attack a Coal-heaver who espoused the cause of the Porter--a disposition was again manifested to cut down any one who dared to entertain opinions opposite to their own--immediately a shower of mud and stones was directed towards him--the spade was taken away, and the Irishmen armed themselves in a similar way with the largest stones they could find suitable for throwing. In this state of things, the houses and the windows in the neighbourhood were threatened with serious damage. The crowd retreated hallooing, shouting, hissing, and groaning; and in this part of the affray Bob got himself well bespattered with mud. Tom again interfered, and after a few minutes, persuaded the mult.i.tude to desist, and the Irishmen to drop their weapons. The Porter made his escape, and the men resumed their work; but, upon Dashall's return to the
1 Quilting--To quilt a person among the knowing Covies, is to give another a good thras.h.i.+ng; probably, this originated in the idea of warming--as a quilt is a warm companion, so a set-to is equally productive of heat; whether the allusion holds good with respect to comfort, must be left to the decision of those who try it on, (which is to make any attempt or essay where success is doubtful.)
~230~~spot where he had left Tallyho, the latter was not to be found; he was however quickly relieved from suspense.
”Sir,” said a stout man, ”the neighbourhood is greatly indebted to your exertions in suppressing a riot from which much mischief was to be apprehended--your friend is close at hand, if you will step this way, you will find him--he is getting his coat brushed at my house, and has sustained no injury.”
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