Part 4 (1/2)
”His years but young, but his experience old, His heart unmellow'd, though his judgment ripe, And in a word, (for far behind his worth Come all the praises that we now bestow) He is complete in conduct and in mind, With all good grace, to grace a gentleman.”
~42~~But dinner is over, and we must now accompany our triumvirate to the drawing-room, where we find them seated with bottles, gla.s.ses, &c.
determined to make a quiet evening after the fatigues of the journey, and with a view to prepare themselves for the more arduous, and to Tally-ho more interesting, pursuits in the new world, for such he almost considered London.
”Yes,” said Sparkle, addressing himself to Bob, with whom a little previous conversation had almost rendered him familiar, ”London is a world within itself; it is, indeed, the only place to see life--it is the ”_multum in parvo_,” as the old song says,
”Would you see the world in little, Ye curious here repair;”
it is the acme of perfection, the ”_summum bonum_” of style---indeed, there is a certain affectation of style from the highest to the lowest individual.”
”You are a merry and stylish fellow,” said Tom; we should have been hipp'd without you, there is a fund of amus.e.m.e.nt in you at all times.”
”You are a bit of a wag,” replied Sparkle, ”but I am up to your gossip, and can serve you out in your own style.”
”Every body,” says Tallyho, ”appears to live in style.”
”Yes,” continued Sparkle, ”_living in style_ is one of the most essential requisites for a residence in London; but I'll give you my idea of living in style, which, by many, is literally nothing more than keeping up appearances at other people's expence: for instance, a d.u.c.h.ess conceives it to consist in taking her breakfast at three o'clock in the afternoon--dining at eight--playing at Faro till four the next morning--supping at five, and going to bed at six--and to eat green peas and peaches in January--in making a half-curtsey at the creed, and a whole one to a scoundrel--in giving fifty guineas to an exotic capon for a pit-ticket--and treating the deserved claims of a parental actor with contempt--to lisp for the mere purpose of appearing singular, and to seem completely ignorant of the Mosaic law--to be in the reverse of extremes--to laugh when she could weep, and weep when she could .dance and be merry--to leave her compliment cards with her acquaintance, whom at the same moment she wishes she may never see again--to speak of the community ~43~~with marked disrespect, and to consider the sacrament a bore!”
”Admirable!” said Tom.
”Wonderful, indeed!” exclaimed Tallyho.
”Aye, aye, London is full of wonders--there is a general and insatiate appet.i.te for the marvellous; but let us proceed: Now we'll take the reverse of the picture. The Duke thinks he does things in style, by paying his debts of honour contracted at the gaming-table, and but very few honourable debts--by being harsh and severe to a private supplicant, while he is publicly a liberal subscriber to a person he never saw--by leaving his vis-a-vis at the door of a well-known courtesan, in order to have the credit of an intrigue--in making use of an optical gla.s.s for personal inspection, though he can ascertain the horizon without any--by being or seeming to be, every thing that is in opposition to nature and virtue--in counting the lines in the Red Book, and carefully watching the importation of _figurantes_ from the Continent--in roundly declaring that a man of fas.h.i.+on is a being of a superior order, and ought to be amenable only to himself--in jumbling ethics and physics together, so as to make them destroy each other--in walking arm in arm with a sneering jockey--talking loudly any thing but sense--and in burning long letters without once looking at their contents;... and so much for my Lord Duke.”
”Go along Bob!” exclaimed Tom.
Tallyho conceiving himself addressed by this, looked up with an air of surprise and enquiry, which excited the risibility of Dashall and Sparkle, till it was explained to him as a common phrase in London, with which he would soon become more familiar. Sparkle continued.
”The gay young Peerling, who is scarcely ent.i.tled to the honours and immunities of manhood, is satisfied he is _doing things in style_, by raising large sums of money on _post-obit_ bonds, at the very moderate premium of 40 per cent.--in _queering_ the clergyman at his father's table, and leaving the marks of his finger and thumb on the article of matrimony in his aunt's prayer-book--in kicking up a row at the theatre, when he knows he has some roaring bullies at his elbow, though humble and dastardly when alone--in keeping a das.h.i.+ng _impure_, who publicly squanders away his money, and privately laughs at his follies--in buying a phaeton as high as a two pair of stairs ~44~~window, and a dozen of spanking bays at Tattersall's, and in das.h.i.+ng through St. James's Street, Pall Mall, Piccadilly, and Hyde Park, thus accompanied and accoutred, amidst the contumelies of the c.o.xcombs and the sighs of the worthy. And these are pictures of high life, of which the originals are to be seen daily.
”The haberdasher of Cheapside, whose father, by adherence to the most rigid economy, had ama.s.sed a competence, and who transmitted his property, without his prudence, to his darling son, is determined to shew his spirit, by buying a _bit of blood_, keeping his gig, his girl, and a thatched cottage on the skirts of Epping Forest, or Sydenham Common; but as keeping a girl and a gig would be a nothing unless all the world were _up to it_, he regularly drives her to all the boxing-matches, the Epping hunt, and all the races at Barnet, Epsom, Egham, and Ascot Heath, where he places himself in one of the most conspicuous situations; and as he knows his racing, &c. must eventually distinguish his name in the Gazette with a whereas! he rejoices in the progress and acceleration of his own ruin, and, placing his arms akimbo, he laughs, sings, swears, swaggers, and vociferates--'What d'ye think o'
that now,--is'nt this doing it in stile, eh?'
”Prime of life to go it, where's a place like London? Four in hand to-day, the next you may be undone.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: page44 Epson Racers]
”Well, Sir, the mercer's wife, from Watling Street, thinks living in style is evinced by going once a year to a masquerade at the new Museodeum, or Argyle Rooms; having her daughters taught French, dancing, and music--dancing a minuet at Prewterers' Hall, or Mr. Wilson's{1} annual benefit--in getting a good situation in the green boxes--going to Hampstead or Copenhagen House in a gla.s.s coach on a Sunday--having card-parties at home
1 Mr. Wilson's flaming bills of ”Dancing at the Old Bailey,”
which are so profusely stuck up about the city, are said to have occasioned several awkward jokes and blunders; among others related, is that of a great unintellectual Yorks.h.i.+re b.o.o.by, who, after staring at the bills with his mouth open, and his saucer eyes nearly starting out of his head with astonishment, exclaimed, ”Dang the b.u.t.tons on't, I zee'd urn dangling all of a row last Wednesday at t' Ould Bailey, but didn't know as how they call'd that danzing,--by gum there be no understanding these here Lunnun folk!”
~45~~during Lent, declaring she never drinks any thing else but the _most bestest_ gunpowder tea, that she has a most _screwciating_ cold, and that the country air is always _salubrus_, and sure to do her good.
”So much for living in style, and good breeding.”
”That's your true breeding--that's your sort my boys-- Fun, fire, and pathos--metre, mirth, and noise; To make you die with laughter, or the hiccups, Tickle your favourites, or smash your tea-cups.”
”By the way, in former times the term _good-breeding_ meant a combination of all that was amiable and excellent; and a well-bred person would shrink from an action or expression that could possibly wound the feelings of another; its foundation was laid in truth, and its supporting pillars were justice and integrity, sensibility and philanthropy; but