Part 56 (2/2)
”What?”
”Or else you will be far away from me ... and will have found your happiness with another.”
She put her hands before her eyes:
”I don't see it.... I don't know....”
”Now you are being honest. No, you don't know if you will come to care so much as that for Johan.... And I ... I will be honest too! I don't know if I shall ever care for you again.... But we must wait, Tilly; and the best thing therefore is to leave each other and ... and not to talk to each other again until it has come of itself and until we know....
You will not be alone in the world; for, if ever I can do anything for you, I will come to you. I shall never forget you.”
”Yes, perhaps that will be best,” she said, in a dead voice. ”I shall try to look at it like that ... and to live alone ... with the children.
I shall not see Johan again.”
”No, no, on the contrary: you must see him.”
”Why?”
”So as to know. You will never be _weak.”_
”No, I shall never be that.”
”You know how he feels towards you.”
”How do you know?”
”I know you do.... You know what he feels for you. But you do not know what you feel for him.”
”Addie! Oh, Addie!”
”Don't deny it. Be honest. These are the last words, perhaps, that we shall exchange for quite a long time. I am going away now.”
”Now?”
”Yes.... Write to me when there's any occasion.”
”Very well.”
”Good-bye, Tilly.”
She was silent, sat staring before her, with her hands clasped over her knees. No, she did not understand him, but she could not act otherwise than he wished.
He was gone; and suddenly she felt very lonely. She heard him upstairs packing, rummaging in his cupboards.
And she began to reflect, sadly:
”He acts differently and speaks differently from anybody else. Divorced?
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