Part 23 (1/2)

Pulling into the driveway at Trish's, he doesn't make a move to get out of the car.

*Are you coming?' Her door already open, Trish is about to get out, pausing only when she sees Elliott is not moving.

*You know,' he says, *I realize I have a very early start tomorrow, and I need some equipment I've left at home. I think I'm going to go home now so I won't have to stop off in the morning.' He looks at her. *Is that okay?'

*Of course,' she replies brightly, and he thinks again how much he loves this aspect of her: that she is never jealous, nor insecure; that she never thinks his desire to go home means he doesn't want to be with her.

Even when that is the case.

He doesn't go home, though. He drives around town for a while, then down to the sea. He parks his car and sits on the low stone wall by the beach and looks out towards Long Island, where the lights from the lighthouse glitter on the black water. He wishes he smoked. Now would be a perfect time for a cigarette, but he has never indulged in that particular habit.

Back in the car, he drives aimlessly, until he finds himself drawing up outside the house that was once his. He smiles at the only light left on, in Alanna's room. She is too old to be scared of the dark, and allows her light to be turned off by her parents when they say goodnight, but always climbs out of bed when she knows they are safely in their bedroom to turn her light back on.

The privet in front is overgrown and straggly. He is tempted to creep into the garage for the clippers and prune it right now, as a surprise, for it has always been his job, and Gabby has enough to do with the new baby.

He doesn't. He sits in his car, staring at his house, thinking of his old life, trying not to compare old and new, until there is nothing else to do but drive back to his new life.

Chapter Thirty-Four.

Josephine and Gabby's mother have become new best friends. Since Natasha has been here, Josephine has started coming over every day, dropping in to see how Gabby is doing, bringing something for the baby, carrying an extra pumpkin pie she made, but Gabby is convinced she's only coming to sit at the kitchen table and chat to her mother.

As a child, Gabby found her mother incomprehensible. As an adult, on Gabby's home turf, Gabby finds her magical. With no one to distract her, nothing to disturb her, no stream of people walking through the front door a and Josephine could never qualify as a stream a Natasha is warm, loving, engaged. Gabby is terrified of what she will do when her mother leaves.

The time seems to have flown by, and Gabby is grateful that her mum has been able to stay for so long, but she is talking of leaving at the end of the month, filling Gabby with dread. Being on her own and pregnant was one thing, but being on her own with a newborn baby is quite another entirely.

She comes downstairs knowing Josephine is here, having heard her car pull up earlier, and walks into the kitchen to find Josephine and Natasha sipping big mugs of tea, Natasha in peals of laughter over a story Josephine is telling her.

*Why do I always feel like the gooseberry around you two?' Gabby pulls a mug down from the cupboard, drops in a tea bag, then puts the kettle back on.

*Gooseberry?' Josephine looks at her.

*Odd man out.'

*That's because your mother and I have fallen in love.'

Gabby looks at Josephine in alarm. She is joking.

If only you knew, thinks Gabby.

*Josephine has an excellent idea. She wants you both to go on a girls' night out tonight. Her boys are with their father, and Olivia and Alanna are out with friends this evening, so you have no excuse not to go. I think it's exactly what you need.'

*It's not what I need,' Gabby says. *It's what Josephine needs. She's been desperately trying to get me to go to some ghastly singles bar with her, and now you're press-ganging me into going too. I know I said I'd go, but not yet. I'm not ready to go out in public yet.'

*I think going out will do you good. You go nowhere,' her mother says.

*Nowhere,' echoes Josephine. *You're turning into a dusty old maid. Let's go out and have fun! You look great, Gabby. Come on, let's flirt!'

Gabby peers at her. *Have you seen the men in those bars? Are you seriously suggesting we put our energies into flirting with those creepy professional singles?'

*Yes!' Josephine laughs. *Maybe tonight will be our lucky night and the two most gorgeous single men in Fairfield County will decide to be there. You're coming, whether you like it or not.' She suddenly sits up straight, turning her head to look out of the window. *Speaking of gorgeous men, a car just pulled up and someone extremely interesting is getting out. He's coming here!' She turns back to Gabby. *Please don't tell me that's your ex-husband or I may have to slap you.'

Gabby cranes her neck to see Matt walking up the path.

*Not ex-husband,' she explains. *Father of my child.'

*What? And he's here? I thought he wasn't going to have anything to do with Henry.'

The bell rings.

*It's a long story.' Gabby gets up to open the door. *Saved by the bell.'

Josephine does not flirt with Matt, thankfully, but she cannot take her eyes off him. When he goes upstairs to get Henry from his nap, she leans forward and hisses, *How did I not know how adorable he is?'

Gabby laughs. *Don't look so surprised. I'm not that awful.'

*No! That's not what I mean, but I'm wondering why I'm dragging you out to hit the singles scene when you have the perfect man right here in your house. Why aren't you up there with him? Why aren't you seducing him right now?'

*Because you and my mother are sitting round the kitchen table making my devious plan impossible?' jokes Gabby.

Josephine's face falls. *Oh G.o.d. I'm sorry. I'll go.' She stands up before Gabby, laughing, tells her how ridiculous she is being.

*I'm not interested in Matt.'

Josephine frowns. *But he's the father of your baby.'

*Yes. And I was interested, obviously. But ...' She thinks. *It's as if there was a light bulb inside me, which glowed for a while, and then, suddenly, it went out, and nothing will get the light to go back on.'

Josephine is sceptical. *Nothing?'

*Truly. Nothing. He's adorable, and brilliant, and handsome, and funny, but he's just not for me, and, beyond that, he's a child. I don't want to be mother to anyone except to my children. We had a ... dalliance. It was utterly all-consuming, and it changed my life. I can't say any longer that I wish it had never happened, because I have Henry, and he is amazing, but, as you know, it turned my life upside down in ways I didn't want.'

*Well,' her mother says thoughtfully, *it may not have been what you wanted, but, as you pointed out, you have Henry, and you wouldn't change that. I always think that we are exactly where we need to be. There is a greater plan for you, and Henry is part of that plan. Perhaps Matt needed to come into your life. Perhaps, as painful as it has been, you and Elliott needed to be apart.'

Gabby says nothing. Her mother's words sound so wise, except when they refer to her.

*Meanwhile, I'm perfectly happy to babysit Henry. I imagine Matt will stay here too, to keep me company. You two go out and have fun.'

Gabby rolls her eyes. The last thing she wants to be doing tonight is. .h.i.tting a bar, but she checks her watch. *I give in.' She turns to Josephine. *I have to drop the girls at their friends' houses. Shall I pick you up at seven?'

*Perfect,' trills Josephine. *I'm going to run down to Main Street and get something to wear.'

*I like him,' Alanna announces, from the back seat of the car, while Olivia raises her eyebrows and glares out of the window. Gabby doesn't ask to whom she's referring.