Part 13 (1/2)

She cannot stop for a long time. Her body is heaving with sobs as a shocked Claire tries to comfort her. Eventually Gabby manages to calm down, the odd shudder running through her body every few seconds.

*Gabby, what is it?' Claire asks softly, awkwardly crouching next to her. *What's happened?'

*I think Elliott is leaving me,' Gabby says, staring at the floor.

*Don't be ridiculous,' Claire says. *Elliott would never leave you. You two are the strongest couple we know. Why would you say such a thing?'

Gabby looks up then, into Claire's eyes, and it is with an expression of such pleading despair that Claire feels a cold clutch of fear.

*It was the guy, wasn't it?'

Gabby nods.

*You had an affair and Elliott found out.'

*It wasn't an affair. It was one night. Not even. One incident. And Elliott can't forgive me. He won't ever be able to forgive me.'

Claire sighs. *Look, it's terrible. We all know it's terrible, but you're human, Gabby. I don't condone it, but I understand that we all make mistakes, and no one understands that better than Elliott. He's the most compa.s.sionate man I know. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I truly believe that you'll be able to work through this together. Have you talked about seeing a couple counsellor? Couple therapy can completely transform a relations.h.i.+p, and you already know I have someone amazing. Gabby, this doesn't have to be the end of the marriage.' Claire takes her hand. *It's going to be okay.'

*It's not,' Gabby says, looking up at Claire again as she takes a deep breath. *I'm pregnant. And you know as well as I do that the baby can't be Elliott's.'

Claire's mouth drops open. There is confusion in her eyes, then horror as the words sink in and she remembers Gabby telling her about the vasectomy. She actually reaches out for the sink to steady herself, her face a whiter shade of pale.

*Gabby, you ...' She is shocked to the core, and as her eyes flick to Gabby's stomach, registering the weight gain, the small b.u.mp, her voice is no more than a whisper. *Gabby, you can't have it. You need to end this pregnancy.'

Gabby, feeling an unexpected surge of anger at her friend, shakes her head. Who does Claire, pregnant herself, think she is telling Gabby to have an abortion?

*I know,' says Gabby coldly. *But I don't think I can.'

*I ... Oh G.o.d. I don't know what to say.'

*I'm not sure there is anything to say.' Gabby's hands reflexively go to her stomach, protecting the baby she wanted so badly, but not like this. *It's the one thing I wanted so desperately. And it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me.'

Claire regains enough composure to reach out to Gabby and put her arms round her, but neither of them is comforted; neither of them is able to fool the other.

They leave the room a couple of minutes later, Gabby imploring Claire to act normally, to make it seem as though she doesn't know, but Claire, always a terrible liar, is still in shock, and truly doesn't know how to pretend everything's normal.

*You know,' she says, after the waiter has brought them their drinks, *I know this is terrible, and I was so looking forward to this evening, but I'm feeling really nauseous. I think I may have to go home.'

*It's fine,' Elliott is quick to say. *Of course.'

Claire hugs Gabby, whispering in her ear, *I'm sorry. I love you. Let's speak tomorrow.'

And then they are gone, leaving Elliott to pick up the bill for drinks.

As they walk out of the restaurant, Gabby is embarra.s.sed, but also grateful because she is sure it would have been impossible for Claire to keep up an act all evening once she knew the truth.

*You told her,' Elliott says as they get in the car.

Gabby is silent.

*Gabby a' Her name sounds strange coming from his lips and since her betrayal he is reluctant to say it, even to taste the shape of her name. *I can't do this any more.'

Gabby's heart leaps into her mouth. *What do you mean?'

*I mean I can't be with you. I wanted to try, but I can't. Every time I look at you, every time I hear your name, I just think of you with another man, and his child growing inside you, and I can't stand it.'

*Elliott,' Gabby forces her voice to be calm, *I know how hard this is right now, but I think we should go and see a couple therapist. I know of someone who's meant to be fana'

*No.' He stops her. *I'm not going to see a couple therapist. It won't help. It won't change what you did, nor how I feel about it. Gabby, I love you. I don't want to feel this way, but I do, and no amount of talking about it will make a difference to that. I'm sorry. I'm moving out.'

*Elliott?' Gabby's voice is shaking. *If I ended this pregnancy would you still leave me?'

Elliott stares at her. *Yes,' he says. *Yes, I would. I would still leave.'

Chapter Nineteen.

Elliott stands in Claire's kitchen, a kitchen that is starting to feel like home, as Olivia rails at him. The baby Gabby is carrying has nothing to do with Elliott, so he decided not to mention it to the girls, but, evidently, Gabby has now shared at least part of her news, and Olivia has not taken it well.

*How can you leave?' she hisses, having just been dropped off here by her mother. *What kind of a father are you that you can leave Mom when she's having a baby? I'm just ... disgusted. I can't believe you're doing this. I can't believe you're leaving her now.'

*Olivia,' he says calmly, *there are things you know nothing about. You may think you know the whole story but you don't. I'm sorry, I truly am, that this has happened, and if there was any other way, if there was any way for me to make this work, don't you think that's what I would be doing? Do you think I want to leave my family? Do you really think I want to be staying in Tim and Claire's house? Much as I love them, this isn't my home, and I would never, ever leave you and Alanna. I wouldn't.'

*So why did you?' Olivia spits, welling up with tears. *You have a choice. This is all bulls.h.i.+t. You didn't have to leave. You don't have to leave. I will never be able to forgive you for this, Dad.'

Elliott is pained. *You don't understand,' he says wearily.

*No. You're right. I don't understand. So explain it to me. Help me.'

*I can't,' he says, after a pause. *It's not something that's for me to tell.'

*Great.' The sarcasm drips from her voice. *You're trying to blame Mom for this, but she didn't leave. Whatever fight you've had, the fact that you left, when she's pregnant with your child, is unforgivable.'

*It's not,' he says quietly, unable to help himself.

*It's not what?'

*Nothing.'

*No. It's not nothing.' Olivia's voice starts to rise. *It's not what? What do you mean? Tell me, Dad! Tell me!' She is shouting now.

*It's not my child.'