Part 3 (1/2)

Finally, she took one and threw it herself. It went straight to the other boat and hit one of the ladies' head. We all laughed quite heartily. Then I began to enjoy myself. There were several open boats full of eunuchs, and another one of servant girls, amahs and the rest with Her Majesty's luncheon. The lake was beautiful and looked so green in the sun. I told Her Majesty that this color reminded me of the sea.

She said: ”You have travelled so much, and yet you have not had enough, but are still thinking of the sea. You must not go abroad any more, but stay with me. I want you to enjoy this sailing on this lake instead of the rough sea.” I promised her that I would be only too happy to stay with her. I must say the truth, I did enjoy the lovely scenery, the beautiful weather, superb suns.h.i.+ne, with Her Majesty so kind to me and talking to me in such a motherly way made me love her more and more every minute I was there. I was so extremely happy there that even Paris pleasures had gone out of my memory entirely.

At last we arrived at another part of the lake. This was more of a stream, very narrow, just wide enough for one boat to pa.s.s. On both sides of the bank were planted drooping willow trees that reminded me of the Chinese Fairy tales I have read. This time I saw the servant girls, amahs, and also eunuchs carrying boxes, walking on both sides of the sh.o.r.e. Only two boats were going then, the Young Empress' and ours.

Her Majesty said: ”We will arrive at the bottom of the hill in a few minutes.” When we came near the sh.o.r.e I saw her yellow chair and several red chairs waiting. We landed and walked to the chairs. I watched Her Majesty get into hers and noticed this was not the same chair she used this morning. This little one was, of course, of yellow, with yellow poles, and two eunuchs carried it, with yellow rope across their shoulders, and four eunuchs supported the poles, one on each corner of the chair. They were just going to raise her chair up when she said: ”Yu tai tai (Lady Yu) I give you and your daughters special favor and give you a red chair with red cord that I have given to only a few people.”

The Young Empress looked at us, which I understood at once was meant for us to kowtow to her, which we did, and waited until the Empress got into hers. Then we went to search for ours. To my surprise our own eunuchs were standing waiting beside our chairs. On the poles I noticed that my name was written and I asked our eunuch the reason. He said that Her Majesty gave the order the night before. It was a lovely ride going to the top of the hill. I saw Her Majesty's chair in front, and the Young Empress'. They looked to me quite dangerous in ascending that way, and the men at the back of the chair had to raise the poles above their heads so as to make the chair the same level in ascending. I was quite nervous and was very much afraid that they might fall off and injure me.

Our eunuchs were walking beside our chairs. I said to one of them that I was afraid the chair bearers might slip. He told me to look back of my chair, which I did, and to my surprise they had the poles raised up also above their heads, and I did not feel it at all. He told me that these chair bearers practice for such purposes and that there was no danger at all. It made my heart stop beating looking back and seeing the other Court ladies in their chairs way below mine, the eunuchs and servant girls walking, for fear I might fall off at any time. At last we arrived at the top of the hill. We helped Her Majesty to alight and followed her into the most lovely building I ever saw, the best one in the Summer Palace to my idea (name of this pavilion, Ching Fo Ker). This Palace had only two rooms, with windows on every side. One could see everywhere.

Her Majesty used one large one to take her luncheon in and the other as a toilet room. I noticed that wherever we went we found Her Majesty's toilet room. Her Majesty took us around the compound and showed us the lovely flowers planted everywhere. One of the young eunuchs told me that Her Majesty's dainties were ready. That was my first day of real work. I went out and found two large yellow boxes of different kinds of candies and fruits, as I have before mentioned. I carried two plates at a time, and finished in nine times, placing them on a square table near her. She was talking to my mother then about flowers. I noticed that although she was talking, she was watching me at the same time. I placed the plates upon the table very carefully, and already having noticed the day before what were her favorite dishes, and placed these near her. She smiled at me and said: ”You have done it very nicely. And how do you know that these are my favorites and have placed them near me? Who told you?” I replied that no one had told me anything and that I had noticed the day before what Lao Tsu Tsung liked (according to the Manchu custom one must address a superior or one's parents in the third person). Her Majesty said: ”I can see you use your heart in everything (in China people say heart instead of head) and are not like the crowd I have here; they haven't the brains of a bird.” She was soon busy eating, and gave me some candies, and told me to eat right there in her presence. Of course I never forgot to thank her, for I thought I had rather thank her too much than too little. She told me: ”Whenever I give you small things you need not kowtow. Just say: 'Hsieh Lao Tsu Tsung Shang' (Thank the old ancestor), that is enough.” After a little while she finished eating, and told me to take the dishes away. She said: ”To-day is your day, so these things are yours. Take them out and sit down on the veranda and enjoy yourself. You see I could not eat all. There are lots of things left. If you like you can tell your own eunuch to send them to your room.” I placed the little dishes back in the boxes and took them to the veranda. There I placed them upon the table and told the Young Empress to eat some. I did not know whether it was right to offer them to her or not and thought I could not do her any harm, even if I tried. She said all right, that she would eat some. I took a piece of candy and had just put it into my mouth when I heard Her Majesty calling my name. I hurried in and found her sitting at her table ready to take her lunch. She said: ”What else did Mdme. Plancon say yesterday? Was she really pleased? Do you think they, the foreigners, really like me? I don't think so; on the contrary I know they haven't forgotten the Boxer Rising in Kw.a.n.g Hsu's 26th year. I don't mind owning up that I like our old ways the best, and I don't see any reason why we should adopt the foreign style. Did any of the foreign ladies ever tell you that I am a fierce-looking old woman?”

I was very much surprised that she should call me in and ask me such questions during her meal. She looked quite serious and it seemed to me she was quite annoyed. I a.s.sured her that no one ever said anything about Her Majesty but nice things. The foreigners told me how nice she was, and how graceful, etc. This seemed to please her, and she smiled and said: ”Of course they have to tell you that, just to make you feel happy by saying that your sovereign is perfect, but I know better. I can't worry too much, but I hate to see China in such a poor condition.

Although the people around me seem to comfort me by telling that almost every nation feels very friendly towards China, I don't think that is true. I hope we will be strong some day.” While she was saying this I noticed her worried expression. I did not know what to say, but tried to comfort her by saying that that time will come, and we are all looking forward to it. I wanted to advise her on some points, but seeing that she was angry, I thought I had better not make any suggestions that day, but wait until I had another opportunity. I felt sorry for her, and would have given anything in the world to help her by telling what the general opinion of her was so as to let her know the truth, which no one dared to tell her. Something told me to be silent. I kept thinking all the time she was talking to me, and finally made up my mind that the time was not yet ripe for me to make any suggestion. I had grown to love her very much, so I wanted to take care not to offend her; that would probably finish my ambition. I wanted to study her first thoroughly and then try to influence her to reform China.

I stood all the time while she was eating. She got up from the table and handed me her napkin (this napkin was made of a piece of silk a yard square, woven in many colors). One corner was turned in, and a golden b.u.t.terfly was fastened to it. It had a hook at the back of this b.u.t.terfly so as to hook on her collar. She said: ”I am sure you must be hungry. Go and tell the Young Empress and the rest of the people to come and eat. You can eat anything you want from these tables, so eat all you can.” I was very, very hungry. Just imagine, I had been up since 5:00 o'clock and had only a light breakfast, and had walked a great deal.

It was almost noon when Her Majesty sat down at her table. She ate so slowly, too. While I stood there talking to her I thought she would never finish. She ate a good meal. The Young Empress stood at the head of the table, and we all stood on either side. We did not like to be forward, so we stood at the other end of the table. The food was very much the same as the first day we were there. Her Majesty came out from the inner room, had just finished was.h.i.+ng her face and hands, and had changed into another gown. This one was simple, but very pretty. It was woven with pink and gray raw silks, which gave it a changeable light whenever she moved. She came out and said: ”I want to see you people eat; why is it that you are standing at the end of the table, the best dishes are not there? All of you come over here and eat near the Young Empress.” So we moved from our end of the table to the other. Her Majesty stood near me, and pointed to a smoked fish and wanted me to try it, as it was her favorite, and said: ”Make yourselves at home. You know you have to fight your own battles here with this crowd. Of course you can come and tell me if anyone does not treat you fair.” Her Majesty then went out, saying that she would walk a bit. I noticed that some of the court ladies did not look pleased, seeing that Her Majesty paid so much attention to us. I could see they were a little jealous of me, but that did not worry me in the least.

After we got through our luncheon, I followed the Young Empress, for it was all so new to me, and I did not know what I must do--whether to join Her Majesty or not. After seeing that they were jealous of me, I paid strict attention to everything, so as not to make any mistake in doing my work and let them have the satisfaction of laughing at me. I would not give them the chance. I heard Her Majesty talking to the eunuchs who looked after the garden, about some branches which ought to be cut down, saying they were lazy. So we went to her. She said to us: ”You see I have to look after everything myself, if not, my flowers would be ruined. I can't depend on them at all. I wonder what they are good for.

They ought to look around every day and cut down the dead branches and leaves. They have not been punished for several days and they are looking forward to it.” She laughed and said: ”I will not disappoint them, but give them all they wish to have.” I thought these people must be idiots, looking forward to a whipping, and wondered who would whip them. Her Majesty turned to me and said: ”Have you ever witnessed such an operation?” I told her that I had, having seen the convicts being whipped at a Magistrate's Yamen when I was a little girl living at Shansi (on the Yangtsze). She said: ”That is nothing. The convicts are not half so wicked as these eunuchs. Of course they deserve a heavier punishment when they are bad.” Her Majesty said that I should learn to play dice with her, as she never had enough people to play with, so we went back to the same room where she had taken her lunch. A square table was in the middle of this large room and a little throne of Her Majesty's, facing south (her favorite direction). Her Majesty sat on her throne and said to me: ”I will show you how to play this game. Do you think you know enough Chinese to read this map?” I noticed a large map, the same size as the table, and laid upon it, drawn in different colors.

In the center of the map was written the direction of the game. It said: ”This game is called the 'Eight Fairies Travel across the Sea.' The names are Lu Hsien, Chang Hsien, Li Hsien, Lan Hsien, Hang Hsien, Tsao Hsien and Hain Hsien. These seven were masculine fairies. Hor Hsien was the only lady fairy.” This map was the map of the Chinese Empire, and the names of the different provinces were written on the drawing. There were eight pieces of round ivory, about one inch and a half in diameter and a quarter of an inch thick. The names of these fairies were engraved upon them. This game could be played either by eight people or four people, when each person had to take two fairies' places, instead of one. A porcelain bowl was placed in the center of the map, to compare the point by throwing six dice into the bowl. For instance, four people play. One throws these six dice into the bowl and counts the points on them. The highest that one could get was 36, and should 36 be thrown the fairy should go to Hangehow to enjoy the beautiful scenery. This person threw dice for Lu Hsien and had 36 points and placed this ivory piece of Lu Hsien on Hangehow upon the map. The same person has to throw another time for another fairy, so each person throws twice if four people play the game, and once if played by eight. These different points count different provinces. They are counted thus:--Six dice alike. One pair in six dice, to three pairs. The lowest was the double 1, 2, 3. If any unfortunate fairy got this he should go on exile and be left out altogether. Any one of the fairies that travelled round the map to reach the Imperial Palace, the first, was the winner.

I read this to Her Majesty. She seemed to be quite pleased, and said: ”I had no idea that you could read so well. This game was my own invention and I taught three Court ladies to play. I had a very hard time teaching them. I also taught them how to read Chinese in order to play the game, but it took them so long to learn anything that I got quite discouraged before I got through with them. I am sure you know how to play it now.” I was very much surprised to hear that these Court ladies were as ignorant as this. I thought they must be excellent scholars, so did not dare to show my knowledge of Chinese literature. We began to play the game. Her Majesty was lucky. The two fairies held by her were way ahead of ours. One of the Court ladies said to me: ”You will be surprised to see that Lao Tsu Tsung is always the winner.” Her Majesty smiled and said to me: ”You will never be able to catch my fairies.” She said: ”You are the first day here to play this game and if any of your fairies beat any of mine I will give you a nice present, so hurry up.” I thought I could never get ahead of her fairies, for they were so far ahead of mine, but I tried hard, as Her Majesty told me to call out for the points I wanted. I did, but it came out something so different that it amused her a great deal. I had no idea how long we were playing this game. We counted who came next, and that was one of my fairies, so Her Majesty said to me: ”I was sure you could not beat me, as no one could.

Seeing that yours are next to mine, I will give you the present just the same.” While she was saying this she told a servant girl to bring her some embroidered handkerchiefs. This girl brought several colored ones to her, and she asked me what color I preferred. She handed me a pink one and a pale blue one, all embroidered with purple wisteria, and said: ”These two are the best, and I want you to take them.” I was just going to thank her by bowing to the ground, but I found that my legs could not move. I tried hard and succeeded finally, with difficulty. Her Majesty laughed very heartily at me and said: ”You see you are not accustomed to standing so long and you cannot bend your knees any more.” Although my legs were sore I thought I had better not show it, but smiled and told her that it was nothing, only my legs were a little stiff, that was all.

She said: ”You must go and sit on the veranda and rest a minute.” I was only too glad to sit down, so I went to the veranda and found the Young Empress sitting there with several Court ladies. The Young Empress said: ”You must be tired standing so long. Come and sit near me.” My legs were very stiff and my back was tired. Of course Her Majesty did not know how uncomfortable we were while she was sitting on her cozy throne. Foreign attire is out of the question for the Imperial Palace of Peking. I had hoped that Her Majesty would tell us to change into our Manchu gowns. I noticed that she asked many questions every day about foreign costumes, and she said: ”The foreign costume is not any prettier than ours and I should say they must be quite uncomfortable round one's waist. I wouldn't be squeezed that way for anything.” Although she was saying such things she did not suggest that we should give them up, so we had to wait patiently for her orders. The Young Empress took her watch out of her pocket, and said to me: ”This game has lasted just two hours.” I said to her that it seemed to me longer than that. While we were talking I saw our own eunuchs bringing four round boxes, made of thin board, carried at each end of bamboo poles. They put them down near where we sat, and one of them brought me a cup of tea. When my mother and sister came the same eunuch brought another two cups, and there were several Court ladies talking with us. This eunuch did not give them any. I noticed at the other end of this long veranda there were another two boxes, exactly the same as these, and a big tall eunuch made tea and brought it to the Young Empress in a yellow porcelain cup, with a silver saucer and a silver top cover. He did not give any to the others.

I was puzzled when one of the Court ladies sitting next to me said: ”Would you mind telling w.a.n.g (our head eunuch) to give me a cup of your tea, just to save me the trouble to go and get it from the small room at the end of this long veranda?” I gave her such a surprised look, for I did not know that this was our tea, but I thought I'd just tell w.a.n.g to bring her a cup, and find out afterwards the reason, for I would give anything in the world rather than appear ignorant before those people.

While we were talking Her Majesty came out. Before she reached the veranda I got up and told the Young Empress that Her Majesty was coming.

I saw her first because I sat facing her back hall. Her Majesty said to us all: ”It is almost three o'clock now, and I am going to rest a while.

Let us leave here.” We all stood in a line for her to enter her chair, and then we went to ours. It was quite a fast ride and we got out of our chairs before arriving at the courtyard of her own Palace. We walked ahead of her chair and formed into another line for her to alight. She walked to her bedroom and we all followed. A eunuch brought her a cup of hot water and another brought a bowl of sugar. She took her golden spoon and took two teaspoonfuls of sugar and put it into her cup of hot water, and drank it very slowly. She said: ”You know before one goes to sleep or ever lies down, sugar water will quiet one's nerves. I always take it, and find it very good indeed.” She took the flowers off from her headdress and I fixed them back in their boxes at once, and placed them in the jewel-room. When I came out of this jewel-room she was in bed already, and said to us: ”You all go and rest a while. I don't need you now.”

CHAPTER EIGHT--THE COURT LADIES

WE retired from her room, but I noticed that two of the Court ladies did not come out with us. One of them said to me: ”I am glad that I can rest a bit to-day, for I have been sitting three afternoons in succession.”

At first I did not know what she meant. Then she said: ”Oh, your turn has not come yet. We don't know whether you received the order or not.

You know two of us must stay with Her Majesty during her afternoon siesta, to watch the eunuchs and the servant girls.” I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard of, and wondered how many people would be in her room. The Young Empress said: ”We had better go at once and rest ourselves, otherwise Her Majesty will be up again before we get the chance.” Of course I had not the least idea how long she slept. So we went back to our rooms. I did not realize how tired I was until I sat down in my room. I felt finished and awfully sleepy at the same time, for I was not used to getting up at 5 o'clock. Everything was so new to me. As I sat there my thoughts wandered to Paris, and I thought how strange it was that I used to go to bed at 5 o'clock after the dances, and here I had to get up at such a time. All the surroundings seemed new to me, seeing the eunuchs running here and there waiting on us, as if they were chambermaids. I told them that I didn't need them any more. I wanted them to go out of the room so that I could lie down a bit. They brought us tea and different kinds of candies, and asked what else was wanted. I was just going to change into a comfortable dress, when the eunuch came in and informed me that ”Yo ker lila” (visitors have come), and two Court ladies came, and another girl of about seventeen came in. I had seen her that very morning when I came to the Palace, busy working, but I was not introduced to her. These two girls said: ”We have come to see you and also to find out if you are comfortable.” I thought they were kind to come and see me that way, but I did not like their faces. They introduced this mean-looking girl to me and told me her name was Chun Shou (Graceful Long Life). She did not look as if her life would last long, being so thin and delicate. She looked sick and worn out to me. I did not know who she was. She courtesied to me and I returned to her, in a sort of half way. (I will explain about the courtesy.)

(To Her Majesty, the Emperor and the Young Empress, we went down and bent our knees, while we stood upright to the people of lower rank than ourselves. In this case one must always wait while the inferior courtesies first, and bend the knees a little bit in return. This was the way I returned Chun Shou's courtesy to me.) The two girls then said ”Chun Shou's father is only a small official, so she has not much standing at the Court. She is not exactly a Court lady, but she is not a servant girl either.” I almost laughed right out, to hear such a funny statement, and wondered what she must be. I saw her sitting down with the Court ladies that very morning, so of course I asked her to sit down, too. These two Court ladies asked me if I felt tired, and how I liked the Empress Dowager. I told them that Her Majesty was the most lovely lady I had ever seen, and that I already loved her very much, although I had only been there a few days. They looked at Chun Shou and exchanged smiles. They did that in such a peculiar way that it annoyed me. They asked: ”Do you think you would like to live in this place, and how long do you intend to stay?” I said I would love to stay long, and would do my best to wait on Her Majesty, and be useful to her, for she had been so kind towards us in the short time we had been there, and besides, it was my duty to serve my sovereign and country. They laughed and said: ”We pity you, and are sorry for you. You must not expect any appreciation here, no matter how hard you work. If you are really going to do as you have said just now, you will be disliked by everybody.”

I did not know what they were talking about, or what their conversation referred to. I thought this was so strange that I had better put a stop to it, so I immediately changed the subject. I asked them who dressed their hair, and who made their shoes for them, as they had asked me.

They answered my questions by saying that their maids did everything for them. Chun Shou said to these two girls: ”Tell her everything about this Palace, and I am sure she will change her mind when she actually sees things for herself.” I didn't like this Chun Shou, and her face didn't impress me. She was a little bit of a thing, tiny head with thin lips.

When she laughed one could only hear the noise she made; no expression was on her face at all. I was just going to say something to them, so as not to give them the opportunity of gossiping, but found they were too cunning. They noticed that I tried every way to stop them, so they said: ”Now let us tell you everything. No one else will know. We like you very much and we want to give you some warning, so as to be able to protect yourself whenever you are in trouble.” I told them that I would take great care to do my work and didn't think that I would ever get into trouble. They laughed and said: ”That makes no difference. Her Majesty will find fault.” I could not believe these things that they said, and intended to tell them that I refused to hear such statements, but I thought I had better listen to what they had to say first and not to offend them, for I never believed in making enemies. I then told them that it would be impossible for so sweet and kind-hearted a person like Lao Tsu Tsung (the old ancestor) to find fault with such helpless girls as we were, for we were her people, and she could do anything she liked with us. They said: ”You don't know, and have no idea how wicked this place is; such torture and suffering one could not imagine. We are sure that you think you must be happy to be with the great Empress Dowager, and proud to be her Court Lady. Your day hasn't come yet, for you all are new to her. Yes, she is extremely kind to you just now, but wait until she gets tired of you and then see what she will do. We have had enough, and know what the Court life is. Of course you must have heard that Li Lien Ying (the head eunuch) rules this Palace behind Lao Tsu Tsung's back. We are all afraid of him. He pretends that he cannot influence Lao Tsu Tsung, but we always know the result after a long conversation consulting how to punish anyone. If any of us do anything wrong, we always go to him and beg him to help us out. Then he says he has no power to influence Her Majesty, and also that he dare not tell her much, for she would scold him. We hate all the eunuchs, they are such bad people. We can see very plainly they are awfully polite to you because they can see that you are in favor. To receive such rudeness from them, constantly, as we do, is unbearable.

”Lao Tsu Tsung is very changeable. She may like one person to-day, to-morrow she hates this same person worse than poison. She has moods, and has no appreciation whatsoever. Even Chu Tzu, the Young Empress (Chu Tzu means Mistress, that is to say she was mistress of us all, for the Manchus were considered by the sovereign as slaves) is afraid of Li Lien Ying, and has to be very nice to him. In fact, we all have to be polite to him.” They talked so long that I thought they would never finish.

About this time w.a.n.g came in and brought tea for us. Suddenly I heard people howling in the distance, so I asked w.a.n.g what was the matter. The girls were listening also and a eunuch came flying in and told us Lao Fo Yeh chin la (The Great Buddha wakes up). The girls got up and said we must all go to see her, so they went. I was not at all pleased with their visit, and wished they hadn't come, especially as they told me such horrible things. It made me quite sad to listen to the awful way they talked about Her Majesty. I loved her the first day I was there, and made up my mind to forget everything they had told me.

I was cross also because I didn't have time to change my clothes, and had to go up to Her Majesty at once. I went into her bedroom, and found her sitting upon the bed cross-legged, with a small table placed on the bed in front of her. She smiled and asked: ”Have you had a good rest?

Did you sleep at all?” I said that I was not sleepy, and could not sleep in the daytime. She said: ”When you are old like me, you will be able to sleep at any time. Just now you are young, and fond of play. I think you must have been on the hills to gather flowers, or walked too much, for you look tired.” I could only say ”Yes.” The two Court ladies who had just been talking nonsense about Her Majesty came in, to a.s.sist in handing her the toilet articles. I looked at them, and felt ashamed for them to face her, after having said so many disagreeable things. Her Majesty washed her face and combed her hair, and a servant girl brought her fresh flowers, of white jasmine and roses. Her Majesty stuck them in her hair and said to me: ”I am always fond of fresh flowers--better than jade and pearls. I love to see the little plants grow, and I water them myself. I have been so busy ever since you came that I haven't been able to visit my plants. Tell them to get the dinner ready and I will take a walk afterwards.” I came out of her room and gave the eunuch the order.

As usual we brought little dainties to her. By this time Her Majesty was dressed and was sitting in the large hall, playing solitaire with her dominoes. The eunuch laid the tables as usual, and Her Majesty stopped play, and commenced to eat. She asked me: ”How do you like this kind of life?” I told her that I very much enjoyed being with her. She said: ”What kind of a place is this wonderful Paris I have heard so much about? Did you enjoy yourself while you were there, and do you wish to go back again? It must be hard for you people to leave China for three or four years, and I suppose you were all pleased when you received the order to come back, after your father's term was finished.”

The only thing I could say was ”Yes,” because it wouldn't be nice to tell her that I was awfully sorry to leave Paris. She said: ”I think we have everything in China, only the life is different. What is dancing?

Someone told me that two people hold hands and jump all over the room.