Part 27 (1/2)

Lochlan braced himself to intervene should the Scot strike her.

He didn't. Instead he stared at her as if imagining her slow dismemberment.

”You're a cheeky wench.”

”And you're a bullish oaf.”

His eye blank, the Scot looked at Lochlan and shook his head. ”G.o.d have mercy on you, man, if this is your woman. You should have let me gut you and save you from her tongue.”

Lochlan shrugged. ”I'm rather fond of that tongue myself. I find it often holds a lot of truth when it speaks.”

The Scot reached out then and placed a gentle hand to Catarina's face. There was a subtle gentling of his gaze. ”I'd forgotten how soft a woman's skin could be.”

He dropped his hand before he turned to face the fire and ambled over to it.

Lochlan frowned at Kestrel, who shrugged at the same time Raziel came forward to retrieve the Scot's sword.

Suddenly, the Scot's low, thick voice filled the air. ”Kieran died so that I could live this life, such as it is.” He laughed bitterly, then winced as if it caused him unimaginable pain. ”He took the blade meant for me and he died in my arms, coughing up blood and begging me to ask you for your forgiveness.”

The Scot braced one hand against the mantel. ”He said he wanted you to know that he hadn't meant what he'd said to you the last time you'd spoken. That it was thoughtless and cruel and that he loved you. That he respected you.” He paused to let out a tired sigh. ”All he wanted that last year we spent in prison was to go home and see the lot of you again. He kept saying over and over again that G.o.d would not be so merciless as to let the last words between him and his beloved brothers be so cruel. It was why he didn't kill himself that day at the loch even though he didn't want to live anymore. But he didn't have the courage to face you. He just wanted the pain to end. He didn't want to see the judgment in your mother's eyes. The disappointment in yours or your brothers'. It was more than he could bear.”

Lochlan clenched his teeth as each whispered word pounded him like a hammer through his heart. He desperately wanted to cry for the brother he'd loved so much. For the brother he'd hoped to find again.

But he was among strangers and that alone kept him stoic on the outside. Inside however, he was screaming out in pain again...just as he'd done the day when he'd found Kieran's sword and plaid by the loch.

And once again, he'd have to face his mother with the bitter news that her son was dead. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but as Catarina had said, he wasn't a coward and it wasn't the kind of news that should come from anyone save family.

”Thank you,” Lochlan said past the lump in his throat, ”for trying to save him. For being with him when I couldn't be.”

Duncan turned toward him then and when their gazes met, Lochlan realized that they did share a bond in blood and in Kieran's love.

His gaze was blurry from his unshed tears as Lochlan held his hand out to this new brother. ”I understand why you hate me, but should you ever need anything, send word and I will come.”

Duncan stared at his hand for several heartbeats before he took it and pulled Lochlan into his embrace. ”He loved you, Lochlan. I hated how much you meant to him. How much all of you did.

I knew I was only half as good in his eyes. At least that's what I thought until he died for me.

Then it was too late...it should never be too late for such things.”

Lochlan clapped him on the back as his own anguish choked him. ”Half or full blood makes no never mind to us. A brother is always a brother.”

Duncan buried his hand in Lochlan's hair before he pulled him back and placed his forehead against Lochlan's. Grimacing, he pushed himself away and headed for the door. ”You can rest here, if you like.” He raised the cowl on his cloak.

”Raziel,” he growled as he paused just before the door. ”I've had enough of company. I want no more of it. Do not disturb me any more this night.”

Lochlan took a step toward him, but Raziel cut him off as Duncan made his way out of the room.

”Press him no more,” he said in a low, guttural tone. ”It physically hurts him to talk and it hurts him even more to move. He must rest now and he never wants anyone to see him in that kind of misery. I beg you to allow him the dignity he deserves.”

Lochlan wanted more answers, but he understood what Raziel was saying. ”You don't seem like a servant to me. Why do you obey him so?”

”Duncan gave up his face for me when I was nothing but a worthless dog. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him now.”

”Raziel is also one of the very few he trusts,” Kestrel said quietly. He shook his head. ”So it was Duncan who survived. Now we know for sure.”

Catarina frowned. ”I don't understand. How did Kieran know of him as a brother when you didn't?”

Lochlan had no idea.

”He was raised in a neighboring village,” Raziel said. ”His mother kept him hidden out of fear.

She saw the way the lairdess treated her husband's b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and so she sought to protect him as best she could. Unfortunately, she died when Duncan was only eight and he was left to struggle on his own. He met Kieran by accident a few years later and Kieran recognized him as a brother immediately. So he would take food and clothing to Duncan. Sometimes even coin. It was Kieran who bought him an apprentices.h.i.+p with the local blacksmith.”

Lochlan cursed as he remembered Kieran being caught stealing by their father. He'd never explained to anyone why he'd been doing it.

Now he understood. Kieran had been taking supplies for their brother.

”Why didn't he tell me?” Lochlan breathed.

”Duncan didn't want him to. He never wanted anyone to know he existed.”

”Yet he went to Outremer with Kieran.”

Raziel nodded. ”He found Kieran on the bank of the loch, weeping. Kieran told him that he couldn't go home again. It was then they decided that they'd find their brother Sin and make their own family where no one would be more related than the other. Where there would never be harsh words or hurt feelings between them.”

Those words cut Lochlan to the soul. ”I never carried a grudge against any of my brothers.”

Kestrel cast a look to Raziel, then to Lochlan. ”It's far easier to give forgiveness than it is to ask for it.”

Lochlan nodded. It was true. Kieran would have been too embarra.s.sed over his tirade and actions to reach out to them and apologize. ”I can't believe he's dead.”

”I'm sorry, Lochlan,” Catarina whispered.

He pulled Catarina against him. For the first time, his brother's death was almost tolerable.

Almost.

Raziel stepped forward. ”I'm sure all of you are tired from your journey. Come with me and I'll show you to rooms where you may rest. Would you like for me to bring you food?”

Lochlan nodded. ”A light repast for the lady. I know she has to be starving.”

Kestrel cleared his throat. ”And I'm most certain the two of them will be wanting a room together.”

”That would be most improper,” Lochlan said quickly.

Kestrel rolled his eyes. ”Then for the love of G.o.d fetch a priest and marry her already.”

Raziel looked horrified by the mere thought. ”That would prove to be most difficult. The Scot refuses to have anyone of holy cloth near his home. His belief is that G.o.d turned His back on him and as such he will never welcome a cleric here again.”

Kestrel scowled. ”Not even Christian of Acre?”