Part 18 (2/2)

Okay, enough of that. I just had to get that whole episode out of my system. As far as now goes, I'm doing pretty well, treatment-wise. Hope I can be one of the lucky ones and not get too sick.

I brought my mirrored ball from home to lend to radiology, and also purchased some new CDs, since what they played over the speaker during ”zap time” set my teeth rattling. Sucky choices, to be sure. Now we have Disco Fridays and the nurses and I get down and dirty (me in a boa, naturally) singing away, and I'll be darned if some of the younger docs don't wind up chiming in with us! Yep, we rock in radiology.

I've decided to shave my head before my hair completely falls out. ”Proactive” is my motto. You know me, Mama, I can do wonders with scarves and hats!

The weeks went by (slowly), and Carrie finally finished her treatments: fifty-six minutes of radiation and seven chemotherapy sessions. It was October 2001. She wanted to go home to Colorado for a brief visit before she returned to California to determine if the doctors thought she might require surgery to remove part of her lung.

The doctors seemed upbeat about her response to the treatments and agreed that it would be beneficial for Carrie to get away for a short while. Carrie, Jody, Erin, and I were more hopeful than we had been in a long time.

It was at that time that I began thinking seriously about getting married again.

A few years earlier, I had met Brian Miller when I was appearing for six weeks in a musical in Long Beach. He was the contractor who hired the musicians and also played drums for this particular production. I admired his talent and his sense of humor. We became friends. After the show closed we went our separate ways. Brian moved on to continue his work as musical contractor for other venues in Los Angeles. Many months later, we ran into each other at an outdoor mall in Century City. We had lunch, saw a movie, and then had dinner together. After that we were pretty much inseparable. I introduced him to Carrie, Jody, and Erin, and they liked him immediately, which made me very happy. We planned to tie the knot in November.

Carrie was thrilled to be back in her cabin, surrounded by her beloved mountains. Having received loads of e-mails and cards from her friends and loved ones, Carrie was now able to take this time to send out her own ”ma.s.s” e-mail response.

From: Carrie (in Colorado!)

Sent: Oct. 5, 2001

Hi there, gang!

As most of you know, I've been too busy to keep up with correspondence, and you have written asking WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!? So here's the update.

Lemme tell ya, having lung cancer sucks. The docs feel positive about my being able to beat it, since we went for the very, VERY aggressive treatments. I finished a little over two weeks ago. Not exactly how I'd planned to spend the second half of the summer! What's that quote? ”Life is what happens when you're busy making plans ...”

I feel empowered by G.o.d, my wonderful family, and my amazing friends (all of you!) who've helped me through the difficult times of treatment. I'm getting a little better every day, and again, being home is the best prescription ever. I've taken to unplugging the phone and leaving the answering machine off and just letting myself be quiet. It's an awesome and humbling thing.

I'm home now in Colorado for a respite from L.A. and a nice two-week period of quiet and country air. Can't get enough of it. If you want to know the truth about a well-worn cliche, home IS where the heart is.

I arrived in time for some beautiful fall foliage and unseasonably warm weather. It has just turned cold in the last few days, and we've gotten some frost and a teensy bit of snow. The deer are out and right now a doe and two yearlings are munching away on my lawn... .

The great news: Two weeks ago my tumor (Yuckie Chuckie) had already shrunk 75 percent. This, although not miraculous, is very unusual and wonderful news. Y.C. has gone from the size of a grapefruit to somewhere in between the size of a golf ball and a baseball. As the ”real” shrinkage usually happens after treatment, there is still some significant shrinkage that can-and will, if I have anything to do with it-happen.

My oncologist and I were looking at the X-rays and talking about possibly saving the lower lobe of the lung. I return to L.A. at the end of next week for a round of tests, etc., to see exactly when (and if?) surgery will happen. At first they thought they might've had to take the whole lung out, so this is a terrific ”maybe,” which is swell. I sure do want to keep it!

I'm hoping to make the tumor DISAPPEAR altogether so I don't have to have ANY surgery ... ya never know!

Either way, the big sigh of relief was that all of the madness and discomfort of treatment was worth it. It works, along with a strong belief system, hypnosis, Chinese herbs, a circle of friends and family that continued to pray for me and put out wonderful, healing energy, acupuncture, and a myriad of other ”alternative” treatments to support the Western medicine! Whatever the mix, I'm grateful as all get-out.

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