Part 46 (1/2)

She hears Iben turn and walk away.

Camilla knows that she deserves everything shes getting. They are right to punish her. She has been lying, and it has slowed the search for the man who is threatening to kill Iben. What if Iben is killed, or one of the others, just because Camilla hasnt told the truth? Camilla is still sitting with her face in her hands when she hears Ibens voice through the open door.

Iben is telling the others about her discovery. I phoned Ljiljana Peric. Thats the woman who went to the same high school as Zigic. Remember I interviewed her for my article about him? Through her I got the name of a Belgrade journalist who knows Dragan but is now too scared to write a word about either him or Zigic. The journalist says that, without any doubt, Dragan is involved in drug trafficking, prost.i.tution, and kidnapping. That can mean only one thing: the Mafia.

Iben raises her voice to make sure that Camilla wont miss a word. I have written about Dragans senior officer during the war. And Dragan was her boyfriend. Its not necessarily Zigic who killed Rasmus; it could just as well have been Dragan. He could have sent the e-mails. And broken into the office before we got the CCTV installed.

Even if Camilla hadnt already been hypersensitive about bullying, working at the DCIG would have been enough. The way they used to treat Anne-Lise was totally uncalled for. Hundreds of times Camilla had wanted to help, but when she tried to be pleasant toward Anne-Lise, Iben and Malene would start hara.s.sing her. And, after all, she had to share an office with them, had to be a good team player to make the office run smoothly.

Once she had spoken up and said that they should treat their new colleague with a little more consideration. Malene had replied, But Camilla, dont you realize its different for Iben and me? Were old friends. Anne-Lise is just someone who works in the same place as us.

It was as if they had no idea of the harm their behavior caused, or the effect it might have in the long run. Camilla knew. She had seen enough. Almost every day Anne-Lise retreated to the back of the library, behind the East European collection.

Anne-Lise hadnt been with them long before Camilla began to feel she could no longer look her in the eye. She decided to mention it to Paul. She remembers well how it went.

Paul, Im not sure that Anne-Lise is settling in. Could you talk to her? Maybe theres something we could do, something to help her?

Why do you think she isnt happy?

During the coffee break I thought that she mightve been crying, because her eyes seemed bloodshot and she was flushed.

Come on, Camilla! Havent you noticed that she looks like that all the time? Its probably something to do with her skin, I suppose.

He was on his way out. Camilla returned to her work and tried to be lighthearted while Iben and Malene poked fun at everything. But now Iben and Anne-Lise are chatting away in the library while Malene is struggling to find a way to cope on her own.

At lunchtime Iben is still going on to Anne-Lise about Dragan. Camilla doesnt feel like saying anything. She still doesnt feel very well and eats her celery sticks in tiny bites.

No one around the lunch table is her old self. Anne-Lise is the only one who looks pleased. Malene is trying to open a pack of rye toasts but fumbles and the whole thing slips from her hands. It falls to the floor and several slices break. No one bothers to make a little joke to make her feel better. No one calls her clumsy either. They simply stay silent.

It wasnt until Camilla was an adult that she learned the main secret of survival. Its simple. When someone is angry, you stand aside to allow the persons anger to pa.s.s and hit the next one in line. She only wishes she had realized this many, many years earlier. This past year, the next in line has been Anne-Lise. Now it seems to be Malene.

Malene picks up the most damaged slice of toast. She tries to show concern at the new information Iben has discovered about Dragan. Instead, she just looks lost.

Camilla cant deny that, one way or another, shes pleased to see Malene cut down to size. For one thing, she cant stand the way Malene dresses, with her low-slung hipsters and s.e.xy short tops all completely unsuitable for the office.

Malene is chewing a sandwich. Camilla can see some cheese and bread sticking in between Malenes teeth when she opens her mouth to speak.

You know, I cant help wondering what else youve been lying to us about.

Shes so transparent! Malene is hoping for approval from Iben and Anne-Lise.

n.o.body responds.

Right. Wed better be good.

Shes still trying hard to sound like her old self, but even that stock comment strikes a false note. Usually they get up and return to their desks, but not this time. Iben and Anne-Lise are not done eating. Only after several minutes does Anne-Lise pull her chair back. Iben follows her at once. And Camilla does too.

After lunch Camilla starts comparing a selection of Scandinavian hotels. The DCIG is planning to host a small inter-Nordic seminar. Paul has asked her to make a list of the relative advantages and drawbacks of each as well as their prices so that he can make an informed decision. When he finally turns up, that is. She struggles with numbers and foreign-exchange rates. Meanwhile the Centers users keep phoning.

In the midst of everything, Malene is pestering her. Obviously when Malene failed to win the others over by picking on her, she realized her only chance was for the two of them to join forces. So now Camilla hasnt had a peaceful moment all afternoon because Malene keeps coming over to have a chat about this or that TV shows, or gossip about the board or the users.

Camilla replies as briefly as she can to Malenes chatter and keeps staring at the hotel details on her screen. At least its satisfying to have a handle on their tricks and know how to protect herself.

When Camilla goes off to fetch a new box of labels from the storeroom, Malene soon turns up.

Camilla, I want you to know something. Its quite important if youre to understand how Iben reacts to things.

By now Camilla is determined to ignore everything Malene says. She pretends to look for something inside one of the shelving units, but Malene continues: Iben had to be treated by psychiatrists when she was nineteen years old. She isnt anywhere near as stable as she makes out. Back then she was much angrier and much more anxious than she is now. She actually wandered about in the streets with a knife strapped to her leg. Until they started treating her, that is.

Camilla turns to look at Malene.

You know, it could be Iben who has ident.i.ty problems, she continues. A split personality, if you like. What if shes the one who sent the e-mails? Maybe she cant face who she really is and thats driving her against the two of us?

What Malene is also implying is that Iben could have been the one who poured oil over the steps in Malenes staircase and removed the railing in front of the large window. She just doesnt say so.

Camilla cant get away from the fact that there might be something in what Malene is telling her. Its true that once or twice Camilla has noticed a strange bulge on the inside of Ibens leg. Could it be that Iben has a knife tied to her leg all the time? Is she on the brink of becoming paranoid? And dangerously aggressive as well? Perhaps she has been ill for a long time.

After Malenes revelations, Camilla finds a bit of research to do in the library. Pa.s.sing behind Iben, she wants to see if there is still a bulge somewhere on Ibens legs and get a glimpse of what Iben has been frantically writing about all this week, between her calls to Yugoslavia and giving Camilla a hard time.

Camilla discovers its impossible to spot any telltale lumps under Ibens clothing, and every time Camilla walks by, Iben closes the doc.u.ment window. For the last couple of days Iben has been printing out something almost every hour, which is what she typically does when she is writing one of her long articles for Genocide News. But as far as Camilla knows, Iben isnt scheduled to send in another article any time soon.

Ibens fervor makes Camilla nervous. Maybe shes making up a blanket of lies about Camilla and Dragan to show Paul when he comes back. What else could it be? Has Iben ferreted out more about them? Is she going to get Camilla fired?

Camilla cant look through Ibens wastepaper basket for printed pages, but in the evening the cleaners sometimes tip the contents of their baskets into the huge bag in the printer room. She goes to have a look. The container is full. Perhaps papers from the previous day are still there.

The door of the printer room doesnt lock. What if someone comes in and finds her burrowing in the black bag full of other peoples waste? Whats her story then?

Camilla cannot think of one. She stands still and listens. Not a sound, no approaching steps or voices. But who says she would hear anything? Camilla peeks outside. Just then, Iben looks up from her screen. Camilla smiles stiffly. No response. Iben doesnt smile back, just carries on writing.

Camilla closes the door and gets on with her search. The first layer is made up of wrappers from books that arrived for Anne-Lise this morning, and the next one is reams of database printouts. Then, almost at the bottom, Camilla finds the contents of yesterdays wastepaper baskets. Just as she had hoped.

She leafs through several bundles of printed pages without taking them out of the bag. Then she digs deeper. At the very bottom of the waste there are small pieces of torn-up paper. Someone has taken the trouble to tear up her work before throwing it away. Camilla takes some of the largest fragments over to the window and begins to read: CHOLOGY VIL IX.

We are rats! Experimental rats. Only condemned run in the labyrinth after social psycho laws we dont know.

She puts five more pieces together on the windowsill.

y interes gan when I once read in a newspaper abou vestigation into traffic in a parking area. People took longer to get out of their slot if another car was waiting to park there. Men left their places much faster if the waiting car was a high-prestige brand. Women were indifferent to the brand and to the presumed cost of the waiting car. None of the drivers knew that they were acting according to these rules. They just did what they did. We are all predictable. We are rats.

Camilla doesnt doubt for a second that its Iben who has written this. She cannot think what it has to do with herself or Dragan. The remaining bits are too small to make sense of: murderers among us who dont acknowle Gunnar some time in the future Camilla dives into the bag again. Plastic ties and edges of cardboard poke into her armpit. But this time, when she backs out she has a whole handful of torn pieces. Some of them seem to form a text, which she rea.s.sembles on the windowsill.

LOGY EVIL X.

was also what Primo Levi wrote about the harsh ween prisoners when he was in Auschwitz: It is naive, absurd, and historically false to believe that an infernal system such as National Socialism sanctifies its victims; on the contrary, it degrades them, it makes them resemble itself.

The style of these fragments suggests an academic article, but it doesnt seem likely that Iben is writing it for Genocide News or the DCIG Web site. Its so incoherent and repet.i.tive.