Part 78 (1/2)

”I think you'd better talk this over with your uncle,” he said.

Nervous. Real nervous. Probably, she thought, uncle Denys had had said something to him. That made her mad. ”Denys doesn't have a thing to say about what I do,” she said, and came up against him and held on to his arm. ”Justin, -there's n.o.body my own age I'm interested in. There said something to him. That made her mad. ”Denys doesn't have a thing to say about what I do,” she said, and came up against him and held on to his arm. ”Justin, -there's n.o.body my own age I'm interested in. There isn't isn't anybody. It doesn't hurt, I mean, I sleep-over with anybody I want. All the time.” anybody. It doesn't hurt, I mean, I sleep-over with anybody I want. All the time.”

”That's fine.” He disengaged his arm and turned and picked up some papers off his desk. His hands were shaking. ”Go back to them. I engaged to teach you, not-whatever.”

She had trouble getting her breath. That was a h.e.l.l h.e.l.l of a reaction. It was scary, that a man reacted that way to her. He just gathered up his stuff, went to the door. of a reaction. It was scary, that a man reacted that way to her. He just gathered up his stuff, went to the door.

As the door opened and Grant stood there taking in what he saw, with small moves of his eyes.

”I'm going home,” Justin said. ”Closing up early today. How did the run go?”

”Fine,” Grant said, and came in and laid it down, ignoring her presence, ignoring everything that had gone on.

”The h.e.l.l,” h.e.l.l,” Ari said, and to Justin: ”I want to talk to you.” Ari said, and to Justin: ”I want to talk to you.”

”Not today.”

”What are you doing? Throwing me out?”

”I'm not throwing you out. I'm going home. Let's give us both a little chance to cool off, all right? I'll see you in the morning.”

Her face was burning. She She was shaking. ”I don't know what my uncle told you, but was shaking. ”I don't know what my uncle told you, but I I can find something to tell him, you just can find something to tell him, you just walk walk out on me. Get out of here, Grant! Justin and I are talking!” out on me. Get out of here, Grant! Justin and I are talking!”

Grant went to the door, grabbed Justin's arm and shoved him out. ”Get out of here,” Grant said to him. And when Justin protested: ”Out!” ”Out!” Grant said to him. ”Go home. Now.” Grant said to him. ”Go home. Now.”

They had the door blocked. She was scared of a sudden-more scared when Grant argued Justin out the door and closed her in the office.

In a moment Grant came back. Alone. And closed the door again.

”I can call Security,” she said. ”You lay a hand on me and I'll swear Justin did it. You watch me!”

”No,” Grant said, and held up a hand. ”No, young sera. I'm not threatening you. Certainly I won't. I ask you, please, tell me what happened.”

”I thought he told you you everything.” everything.”

”What did happen?”

She drew a shaken breath and leaned back against the chair. ”I said I was bored with boys. I said I wanted to see if a man was any different. Maybe he hit me. Maybe he grabbed me. Who knows? Tell him go to h.e.l.l.”

”Did he do those things?”

”He's screwed everything up. I need him to teach me, and all I did was ask him to go to bed with me, I don't think that was an insult!” d.a.m.n, she hurt inside. Her eyes blurred. ”You tell him he'd better better teach me. You tell him he'd teach me. You tell him he'd better. better. I need him, d.a.m.n him.” I need him, d.a.m.n him.”

Grant went azi then, and she remembered he was was azi, which it was easy to forget with him; and she was in the wrong, yelling at him and not at Justin; she had a license that said responsibility, and she wanted to hit him. azi, which it was easy to forget with him; and she was in the wrong, yelling at him and not at Justin; she had a license that said responsibility, and she wanted to hit him.

”Young sera,” he said, ”I'll tell him. Please don't take offense. I'm sure there won't be any problem.”

” 'There won't be any problem.' h.e.l.l!” She thought of working with him, day after day, and shook her head and lost her composure. ”Dammit!” As the tears flooded her eyes. She pushed away from the chair and went for the door, but Grant stopped her, blocking her path. ”Get out of my way!”

”Young sera,” Grant said. ”Please. Don't Don't go to Security.” go to Security.”

”I never asked for this. All I asked was a polite question!”

”I'll do whatever you want, young sera. Any time you want. I have no objection. Here, if you want. Or at your apartment. All you have to do is ask me.” do whatever you want, young sera. Any time you want. I have no objection. Here, if you want. Or at your apartment. All you have to do is ask me.”

Grant was tall, very tall. Very quiet and very gentle, as he reached out and took her hand. And there was very little s.p.a.ce between her and the desk. She backed into it, her heart going like a hammer.

”Is that what you want, young sera?”

”No,” she said, finding a breath.

And did, dammit, but he was too adult, too strange, too cold.

”Sera is not a child. Sera has power enough to have whatever she wants, by whatever means. Sera had better learn to control what what she wants before she gets more than she bargained for. Dammit, you've cost him his father, his freedom, and his work. What else will you take?” she wants before she gets more than she bargained for. Dammit, you've cost him his father, his freedom, and his work. What else will you take?”

”Let me go!”

He did then. And bowed his head once politely, and went and opened the door.

She found herself shaking.

”Any time, young sera. I'm always available.”

”Don't you take that tone with me.”

”Whatever sera wishes. Please come tomorrow. I promise you-no one will bring the matter up if you don't. Ever.”

”The h.e.l.l!”

She got out the door, down the hall. Her chest hurt. Everything did.

Like the part of her that was herself and not Ari senior-had just fallen apart.

I fell in love about as often as any normal human being. I gave everything I had to give. And I got back resentment. Genuine hatred.

. . . isolation from my own kind. . . .

She caught her breath, reached the lift, got in and pushed the b.u.t.ton.

Not crying. No. She wiped the underside of her lashes with a careful finger, trying not to smear her makeup, and was composed when she walked out in the hall downstairs.

She knew what the first Ari would tell her. She had read it over and over. So, well, elder Ari, you were right. I'm a fool once. Not twice. What now? well, elder Ari, you were right. I'm a fool once. Not twice. What now?

v Grant walked into the cubbyhole of the second floor restroom and found Justin at the sink was.h.i.+ng his face. Water beaded on white skin in the flickering light second floor had been complaining about for a week. ”She's gone home,” Grant said, and Justin pulled a towel from the stack and blotted his face with it.

”What did she say?” Justin asked. ”What did you you say?” say?”

”I propositioned her,” Grant said. ”I believe that's the word.”