Part 22 (1/2)

'Yes, you can have parties there, apparently. I've never been to one myself,' she went on, as we looked at the gla.s.s-ware. 'It's going to be on the day itself-August the second. They were very lucky that it was available at such short notice.'

'Are you going to arrange it?'

She shook her head. 'The zoo do it all, which is great as I haven't got time. All I'm doing is sending the invites-I sneaked the addresses from Nigel's Filofax. I'm asking about seventy people.'

'I hope you don't have to ask that colleague of his, Mary. I thought she was rather unpleasant at the barbecue,' I added, though I wasn't going to tell Daisy why.

'I'm afraid I will have to ask her,' Daisy replied. 'She works quite closely with him, and she seems to have the ear of their new head of department, so Nigel likes to keep in with her-but I agree, she's a bit of a cow. You can invite David, if you like,' she added, as we looked at the standard lamps.

'Can I?'

'Of course. Nigel won't mind, and it'll be nicer for you as I'll be pretty busy, and anyway, I'd like to meet him. I know so much about him. In fact-Christ, Miranda-just think: I know things about David that he doesn't even know himself.'

'I will ask him, then,' I said. 'Thanks. After all, if it wasn't for you, Daisy, I wouldn't have met him.'

'Is that right?'

'Yes, because you recommended me to Caroline-' Trigger was the trigger, I suddenly realized, '-which is how I met Jimmy again. And then you encouraged me to look for David.'

'And you found him!'

'Yes.' My heart turned over. 'I did. Anyway, I'm glad Nigel's having a party-it would be a shame not to.'

'And obviously, I'm not going to bring up the marriage issue before then,' Daisy went on, with surprising calm. 'Because, well, it would spoil his birthday, wouldn't it, if we were having a crisis.'

'It's up to you.'

'And what's another two weeks, when you think about it?'

'Hmm.' We finished browsing and made our way outside. 'That's where the self-defence cla.s.ses are, by the way,' she said, as the traffic roared past. 'Over there, in Howland Street. You will come this week, won't you?'

'Yes, sure.'

'Marcus is a great teacher. And although you're not very likely to be mugged again, I think it's good to have these techniques up your sleeve. Anyway, I'd better dash. I've got an underwater theme party to organize and I've got to find some mermaids' tails for the waitresses.'

'And I have to attend to a nymphomaniac cat.'

Animal Crackers has been getting huge ratings-seven million-which is great for business. By Wednesday afternoon I'd taken six new bookings. If I have seven a week, I'm fine. With eight I'm in profit. Nine and I'm laughing. My money worries have begun to subside. Unlike my mother's.

'The cash-flow's dire,' she said, when she called for a chat at six. 'So I've decided I'm definitely going to do the Llama Psychotherapy during the week. I'm going to call it ”Llama Karma”. I've already put it on my website and I've had some leaflets printed up. I put some in the post to you yesterday.'

'How much will you charge?'

'A hundred for the day, to include lunch. The local radio people are interviewing me about it but what I really need is national publicity. Do you know anyone on one of the broad-sheets?'

'I'm afraid I don't. I'm not in that loop. Oh, I do know a young guy on the Independent on Sunday,' I suddenly remembered. 'He's on the diary, but he'd tell you who you could contact for some feature coverage.'

'Are you sure you can't get me on Animal Crackers?' she asked plaintively.

'You know I can't, Mum. I don't want to annoy them by even asking again, to be honest.'

'Well, if there's anyone you know who's really stressed-anyone at all-then tell them to call me and they can come and spend the day with the boys.'

Ten minutes later, Dad phoned-it's funny how he and Mum often phone within minutes of each other. Perhaps they're more in tune than they realize.

Dad sounded depressed. 'I've had the chairman giving me an ear-bas.h.i.+ng about the cost of paving the parking lot, and hiring green-keeping staff, and we've only had five new members this week. Plus the golf pro has resigned because he thinks the club isn't going to work out. Plus I sent your mother a friendly card, and she returned it, unopened.'

'Oh dear.'

'I just don't understand. You said she was ”fine” about me coming down here. But she clearly isn't. I can't even get her to acknowledge me, let alone be civil. She pretends not to know me. It's absurd.'

'Then why don't you just turn up at the house?'

'Jesus, no! She'd probably call the police. I didn't exactly expect her to hang up a ”Welcome” sign for me; but I didn't think she'd be so openly hostile either.'

'Well, she's not the most forgiving person in the world.'

'Tell me about it. You know, Miranda, maybe I've made a big mistake in coming back,' he went on. 'I mean, I've been here less than a month and already I'm so wound up. I'm just so stressed,' he added wearily. Ah...

By seven, the puppy party crowd had arrived. Lily had come in brandis.h.i.+ng two bottles of champagne to celebrate the fact that Moi! had won Magazine of the Year the night before.

'Let's have a proper party!' she said. 'You don't mind do you, teach'?'

'No,' I said. 'That's fine by me.' I nipped round the corner and bought some crisps and olives. Then we all sat there sipping Laurent-Perrier, playing Pa.s.s the Puppy.

'Couldn't we go outside with them?' Lily suddenly asked. 'Yes,' Phyllis agreed, with another large swig. Her papery cheeks were quite pink. 'Couldn't we go outside?'

'Yes, Miranda, please, please, please-can't we go outside?' they chorused.

'Okay,' I said. 'Why not? There's plenty of light left, and we could do some basic disobedience.'

'Shouldn't that be ”obedience”?' said Sue.

My head was swimming slightly as I reached for Herman's lead. 'Yes. Obedience. That's what I said.' As we left the Mews, the chiropractor grinned at us as he got into his car.

'It's the puppy posse!' Lily called out.

'Now, do tell me more about your film stunts,' Phyllis asked Marcus as they strolled along in front of me. He'd gallantly offered her his arm.

'No, Phyllis,' he protested. 'It's too boring talking about work.'

'But your work isn't boring at all. Please tell us,' she insisted.

'Yes, do, Marcus,' said Lily. 'Anyway, I need to know because I might do an article about you.'

'What do you enjoy most?' Phyllis asked, as a small boy stopped to stroke the puppies. 'Horse-riding stunts?'

'No, horses aren't really my thing. My favourites are aerial stunts-parachuting, flying, sky-diving, hang-gliding-anything like that. I like stair falls, and motorbike skids; and I do enjoy a good car crash.' I noticed that the little boy was giving Marcus odd looks. 'I also quite enjoy being blown up when I get the chance,' he added. 'Air rams are brilliant for that.'

'What are air rams?' asked Phyllis, enthralled, as we walked on.