Part 11 (1/2)

'I don't think she...would know,' I'd said. But Phyllis had flatly refused to countenance a canine replacement; then, all of a sudden, she'd changed her mind. She'd phoned me last week to say she'd got another Tibetan terrier and wanted to bring it to the party. I was thrilled...

'h.e.l.lo, Maisie,' I said now, as I looked at the puppy. 'Aren't you sweet? I'm glad you decided to get another dog, Phyllis. I'm sure Ca.s.sie would be happy.'

'Oh she is happy,' said Phyllis. Her eyes were s.h.i.+ning. 'In fact, she's very happy.'

'Really? Er, what do you mean?'

'Well,' she began, in a confidential whisper, 'Maisie isn't really Maisie.'

'Isn't she?'

She shook her head. 'I just call her that in order not to confuse people. Maisie is actually Ca.s.sie,' she explained seriously.

I stared at her. 'Really?'

'Yes. You see,' she said, laying her frail hand on my arm, 'Ca.s.sie's come back.' She gave me a beatific smile. 'Ca.s.sie's come back-in the body of another dog.' She nodded at Maisie.

'Ah.'

'So it's all worked out beautifully,' she concluded happily.

'Well, that's just...great,' I said.

There was another knock at the door, and a rather lively, good-looking man called Marcus came in with his equally lively Jack Russell puppy tucked into his jumper; then an English setter with a woman called Sue. By ten past seven there were puppies play-biting, ear-chewing, chasing and paddling in the water bowl, while their 'parents' indulgently smiled.

'Had all the jabs?' I heard someone enquire above the Mickey Mouse yapping.

'Oh yes. She didn't cry at all. She's very brave.'

'Mine's already house-trained.'

'Really? That's amazing.'

'Well, he's a quick learner. Both ends.'

At a quarter past seven I did the roll call.

'Roxy?' I called out.

'Here.'

'Alfie?'

'Here.'

'Lola?'

'Present, Miss,' her owner giggled.

'Maisie? Yes, you're here. Sooty? Is Sooty here? Oh there you are, Sooty.' They'd just arrived. 'And Twiglet?'

'Yep.'

'Cosmo?'

'He's here.'

'And finally... Bentley. Oh hi, Lily.' She'd arrived in a cloud of scent, clasping the puppy to her with one bejewelled hand, trailing Jennifer with the other. 'Do take a seat. Now I'd like you all to introduce yourselves, and to say why you've chosen the puppy you have. You go first, Sally, then carry on round the circle.'

'Okay. Hi, everyone,' she began, 'my name's Sally and I work in PR, and my puppy, Roxy, is a Labrador because, well, they're just so adorable, aren't they?'

'Yeah, they're labradorable,' said Marcus. Everyone giggled.

'Next person, please,' I said.

'My name's John and I'm in IT, and I chose Alfie here because I've always liked gun dogs.'

'What's the pointer that?' quipped Marcus again. Oh well. At least he helped break the ice.

'My name's Susan and this is Lola,' said a woman with kohl-rimmed eyes. She looked confused. 'Or is it the other way round? No. I'm definitely Susan and I teach yoga and well, I've always loved English setters because they-'

'Setter good example,' Marcus snorted. He was that slightly irritating thing-a live wire.

'My name's Jane and this is Sooty. And I grew up on a farm, and so I knew I'd just have to have a Border collie one day.'

'I'm Ian, I'm an interior designer, and this is my pug, Bentley.'

'I'm Lily Jago. I edit Moi! magazine, and my little puppy's a s.h.i.+h-tzu-'

'Bless you!' said Marcus. There were more giggles. Lily gave him a frigid stare.

'She's a s.h.i.+h. Tzu,' she repeated slowly. 'Like her doting aunt here, Jennifer Aniston.'

'Why did you call her that then?' asked Marcus, mystified.

'Can't you see the resemblance?'

'Well, I'm not sure,' he said judiciously. 'The nose is slightly different-' Lily looked offended.

'No. Not the face. It's the hair. It's because she's got long silky hair and because she's worth it, aren't you, poppet?' Jennifer grunted. 'And puppy's name is Gwyneth Paltrow, for exactly the same reason.'

'You can't call her that,' said Marcus. 'Everyone knows Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow don't get on.'

'That's right,' said Phyllis. 'They fell out over Brad Pitt. Gwyneth Paltrow can't stand Jennifer Lopez either,' she added knowledgeably.

'That's true,' said Jane. 'She's still furious about Ben Affleck apparently. Did you see that piece in h.e.l.lo!?'

'Look, can we please take this puppy party seriously?' I said.

'All right,' said Marcus. 'Anyway, I'm Marcus Longman and I work in the film industry.'