Part 131 (2/2)
”He's scary!” said Philadelphos ”He just stares, that funny stare, even when he's acting friendly”
I laughed An accurate description
”You ot what he wants, he will h You h He is very sensitive about that”
”I suppose I should hug him and call him uncle!” said Alexander in a huff ”I don't want to! He killed my father!” Then, abruptly, ”When is Father's funeral?”
”It already was,” I said And ive him Octavian had it But perhaps it was just as well What son would cherish the sword that had deprived hi father? ”And it was not Octavian who killed your father It was justthe fortunes of a lost war” And a lost e, stretching out into eternity
”Why wouldn't they let us see it?” asked Selene
”Perhaps they felt it would be too painful,” I said Please don't let her ask about Antyllus! Don't ask if he was there!
Mercifully, she asked instead, ”Do you think Octavian willhere But he may take you for a visit Would that be so bad?”
She shrugged ”I suppose not But I'd rather go to India”
Noatching the to ies onchildren, all I had left of Antony I tried to disguise it, hoping I was subtler than Octavian Watching is difficult to hide And the reason for ain I had to will my eyes to remain clear, not well up with tears, else they would suspect
”My loves,” I said, e them one by one, ”ill endure this, and remember it only as a bad dream, look back on it and so was hard--one of the hardest things I have ever done Now I had only one one
I wished I had so But nothing cah
They were gone, taken chattering back to their rooilant Their every htly in his grasp As he one, a void opened around me, in spite of the co out to sea, Char the clothes, ers s theh It was as if she thought I would wear all of the to watch
Mardian was reading, solumly, his arms crossed He looked tired and defeated We were all trapped, only passing tie
Olympos, my dear, fierce friend, I think--if you should read this, although you respect privacy sothe secret froreatest sorrows of those last days You gave me no choice (he had no choice; it does (he had no choice; it does not not mean he wished to leave you), mean he wished to leave you), but it made as already difficult even ood-bye--that is a special punishoodbye I could not, then Good-bye, et, all you know but it made as already difficult even ood-bye--that is a special punishoodbye I could not, then Good-bye, et, all you know
Outside the day was fresh and bright I could see the sparkling sea, the waves tossing foa to Alexandria, come and sport with me
Alexandria It had been spared It would escape the fla, the destruction that usually followed in the wake of defeat My city would live, and my children I had had all I could ask for
The as singing, a lighthearted song But inside ere prisoners and could only watch from the s It was the half-life of an invalid
Invalid Not valid To render null To weaken or destroy the force of To dismiss from duty To deprive of effective or continued existence A world of woe in that one word, Not valid To render null To weaken or destroy the force of To dismiss from duty To deprive of effective or continued existence A world of woe in that one word, invalid invalid
I was now invalid invalid I could regain validity only through death I could regain validity only through death
Heads bent over our tasks, we drifted on our thoughts, until a knock on the door stirred us Dolabella stepped in, s aristocrat he was I thought idly what a winsoo far in Rome
”Your Majesty,” he said, ”may I speak to you alone?”
I nodded, and the others rose silently and went into an adjoining roo, ”will you take some refreshments?” Octavian had left us so well provided for that I could allumly
”Why, Dolabella,” I said ”What is it?” His
He came across the floor in jerky steps and then fell to one knee before ly ”Madam, dearest Queen, I hope you will believe me when I tell you that in the few days I have served as your guard, I have developeda great respect and sympathy for you”
What was this about? ”What are you trying to tellHe had such a look of anguish that I kneas so serious--and that he spoke the truth
He said in a low voice, ”I have just overheard the I his plans In three days he will leave Alexandria and return to Rome by way of Syria”
”And--what of us? What of us, here?”
Now his voice sank even lower He did not want anyone to report that he had told me ”You are to be put on board shi+p and transferred to Rome”
So soon! Three days!
”And once I am thereill he do with me?”
Dolabella looked away, and took a deep breath as if steeling himself
”He'll lead me in his Triumph,” I finished for him ”Do not be afraid to speak it, for I have always known it Are you certain?”
”Entirely He was planning the festivities There will be three Triuypt You are to be its chief orna in two! For, after all, since he claims these were not civil wars, it follows that Royptians” It was a bitter joke
”It is possible you would appear in both,” he agreed,rieved to have to do so, but it seerateful that you understood that”
Three days!
”If there is anything--”
”Yes Yes, there is,” I said ”Let me write this request to Octavian, and you can take it to him Please do your best to persuade him to allow it It would mean so much to me, especially in the circu desk, pulled out paper, sought the words for the siuards rip onyour divine s and libations on the toypt in serving a funerary feast there Without great I s and libations on the toypt in serving a funerary feast there Without it, it, his spirit cannot rest his spirit cannot rest