Part 131 (1/2)
”Shut up, Mardian!” I screaht had also givenhalf across the roo Mardian on the shoulders, the ar to smack his face ”You miserable traitor! How dare you betray”Oh, this is more than I can bear! To have had to receive you in such a fashi+on, when you have honored me by a visit, and then to be insulted by my own servant!” I cast my eyes down ”Yes, it is true I have held back so to try to placate your wife and your sister in Rome Yes, I hoped to buy so that they would pity me, wohed condescendingly ”Of course you s Keep anything you like”
”But they are not for me, they are for Livia and Octavia”
He sain, I could see into his mind He believed that I fiercely wished to live, and was scheracious Queen,” he was saying smoothly, ”you may be well assured, your treatment will be far beyond your expectations You enuine s else in his eyes: the lechery that Thyrsus had hinted at ”And now I must take my leave I would not overtire you” He bent his head and kissed htened, he smoothed it back, as if he would look his best for me
I rose to see him to the door ”You are too kind, Imperator,” I said
When the traone, I fell into Mardian's arms
”Are you mad?” he said ”What is all this? What have you done?” And then, plaintively, ”Why did you hit me?”
”Quickly, before Olyh Octavian I knohat he inal plan, if he is deceived into thinking we have put all such thoughts far frouard! We will find a way, now!”
A feeling akin to happiness now rose in me I did not knohat it was But I kno It was co the Oly it onto my head
Chapter 87
Octavian outdid himself in lavish attentions Within an hour, platters heaped high with s arrived, followed by an amphora of Laodicean wine (Antony had not succeeded in depleting all the palace supplies, in spite of his strenuous efforts) He even sent his own physician in to ”help” Olympos, who listened disdainfully to his advice
The fresh figs were good ”He h to walk those h the city of koth to drag chains along with ood food Sweet Octavian
He cloaked his dagger in unctuous coladdened to see that I was out of danger He was honored that I would trust hiifts for Livia and Octavia, but bedeck myself instead And so on
I lay back on the bed--spread noith the finest palace linens, sent posthaste by Octavian--and willed er had wrought a change in ed back, and soon we had depleted all of Octavian's offerings
”Ask for roast ox,” I told Mardian ”He will send it within an hour”
And he did Oh, he was ht for the first tier to be so acco, there was one request I must ing, cloying letter to hi, answer in hand My request was granted The children would be brought to ered for the sight of them, as only another mother can understand I needed badly to see them, hold them, feel their sturdy shoulders and arms I needed to kno they fared, what had happened to them in the nine days since we had been parted
Octavian had yielded up owns from the wardrobe rooarment and dress myself It was important that they should see me as I wished to be seen, so they could remember
My own motherwhat did I remember of her? My children were all older than I had been when my mother vanished, and would carry a clearer picture of me Alexander and Selene were almost as old as I had been when Father lost his throne and fled, and I remembered that acutely Yes, they would remember
”Mother!” The three of theh-pitched relief in their voices was impossible to miss
”My dearests!” I bent a little to ehtly as possible They were here, they lived, they would survive With or without a crown, it did not matter anymore, if they would just survive!
”You've hurt yourself,” said Selene, looking at the marks on my arms and chest
”It was an accident,” I said ”And they are greatly improved”
”But how did it happen?” asked Philadelphos ”Did you run into so? A door full of nails?” He wrinkled his nose and strained hirief,” I said They must be told Did they know about Antony? I led them over to a wide bench by theand we sat down ”Your father has died,” I said
Alexander let out a cry ”Why?” he asked
”When the city fell--you knoe lost the battle ”
”Did he get killed in the fighting?”
How could I explain it so they would understand?
”No, not in the fighting itself, but afterward”
”But ho?” He was insistent
I shook my head ”There was confusion,” I finally said ”He had to do what a brave ht for him to be taken prisoner It would have been--dishonorable”
Selene broke into tears ”Do you mean he killed himself?”
I must tell the truth ”Yes But he had no choice It does not mean he wished to leave you” Rulers are different We have to do things ordinary people a Rulers are different We have to do things ordinary people are spared
”Why didn't he have a choice?” asked Alexander ”What was so bad about being a prisoner? We are prisoners, aren't we?” ”Yes, but only for a little while He would have been a prisoner forever”
”What about you?” asked Selene She was looking directly at me She always asked the most acute questions, as if she saw more than the others ”If he could not bear it, how can you?”
Oh, why ht me well that I could not answer honestly I could not risk it And it was too hurtful to confess, anyway I had already prepared uarded to do what Antony did,” I said ”Octavian would prevent it So you need not worry I ih separately Or perhaps you will stay here while I go to Rome I do not know yet whether it is you or Caesarion ill rule after me The most sublime Octavian will decide”
”Octavian!” said Selene ”He has already visited us, and had us to his quarters Your old rooms! He seemed very interested in us He asked a lot of questions”
”Like what?”
”Oh, our favorite foods, how es we spoke, our patron Gods You know, polite things”
Yes Polite things ”And what did you think of him?” I asked