Part 69 (2/2)

”You and Mardian were always at me to provide more heirs to the throne, so I have merely tried to co none of it

”Oh, my dear, my dear Queen and friend,” he lamented ”This is terrible, terrible! The world looked the other way the first time, with all that mumbo-juot ahatever he did, but this is different Antony is no Caesar--”

As Antony himself had pointed out ”Olympos--” I was touched that he was so deeply affected; it was co that someone was

”--Antony is no Caesar, and the world is harsh on him Besides, he has ift you bring hi no one else has offered, but--how many children does he have, anyway?”

I had to stop and count There was at least one froe to his cousin Antonia, and he and Fulvia had two sons ”Three that I know of,” I admitted

”You see? What is a fourth? Besides, as soon as he sees Fulvia again, there'll be another one”

The thought was painful--especially since it was probably true I could not think of any reasonable answer

”Sit down here,” said Olyht to orderI was his Queen first, his friend second, his patient third, but now the last took precedence He then took a seat opposite , dark face draorry ”Who else knows about this?”

”Only Charuessed You are the only one I have told”

”Not Antony?” he said quickly

”No, not Antony”

”He doesn't suspect?”

”No”

”Good Then it's still early enough, or else he would have known Now listen You have to rid yourself of it There is still time--thank all the Gods”

”But I--”J_ ”At least listen to ht I have an elixir that works if used in the early days It won't hurt you No one would have to know It can be gone, just like Antony hiain, because they were true

”Think about it Ask yourself why you want to punish yourself by going through with it, when you don't have to Isn't it painful enough to have been left like this, without having a bastard as well?”

He stood up, again without leave I just sat looking at him

”I will come back after dinner Prepare for bed early Send Charmian on some errand, say you want to be alone”

”You sound like a lover,” I said, faintly

”No, I am the person who has to undo what the lover has done I clean up other people's messes”

Like a sleepwalker, I did what he said It was oddly co to be ordered around, to be told exactly what to do No thinking, just obedience I orn out fro events, of leading, a to be led, to be relieved of any responsibility

I waited in oith a coat over it Charmian had brushed ed my feet with mint water She had lit three small lamps in the charounds Then she had stolen away to what she assuht of rest for me

Olympos appeared a little while later, a silent visitor as suddenly there He was holding so all wrapped in cloth Reverently he unwrapped it and handed it to h the sea-green glass I could see that the contents were also green I tilted it and watched as the heavy liquid rolled to one side

”This is your friend,” he said ”Your friend that opens the door of your prison and lets you walk out free”

”What must I do?” I asked It seemed impossible that this small amount of medicine could be so powerful

”After I leave, drink it down--all of it Cover your bed with these cloths” He thrust a basket out at me; inside I could see folded material ”Lie down Wait It won't be painful--just wait Then gather up the cloths and hide theht as possible, and take them away, before Charmian or Iras even comes in”

I took the basket and walked over to ht all this will be only a e” He took my hand ”Your hand is cold Is this so very difficult for you?”

I sed, and nodded My hand felt like ice in his warm one

”Most people never have a chance to undo ments stay with us, and we must pay the consequences There will be those in plenty--for us both But this need not be one of them” He squeezed my hand and said, ”Please don't be afraid” He paused ”I will be back in only a few hours I pro for ive you this It is no light matter for either of us But it must be done”

After he left, as silently as he came, I stood stupidly by the side of the bed Why could he not stay with me? But of course he couldn't, if the event was to be erased coo with no witnesses

I spread the thick cloths out over the bed, and then held out the vial of medicine My hands still felt so cold that they did not warether as hard as I could, snow against snow Even my nose felt cold I touched its tip and touched stone in winter All the blood was fleeing from my extremities, as if I had taken the elixir already

I held it up before the lareen? I remembered the potion we had drunk in Canopus Maybe it had caused the condition that now called for this antidote--one green potion requiring another I shi+vered

Don't take it, I told er and bigger and the whole world will know that Antony came to Alexandria, enjoyed himself, and left a bastard--a bastard that will cause a remarks from Octavian Another discarded mistress like Cytheris and Glaphyra, they'll say

And it will even reflect badly on Caesar, I realized with a sinking feeling Antony used Caesar sfor his pleasure, but then cast her aside What was good enough for Caesar was trifling to Antony used Caesar sfor his pleasure, but then cast her aside What was good enough for Caesar was trifling to Antony What did that say about Caesar? I would have dishonored his s to revere it Antony had usurped his place, then trampled on it And I had allowed it So they would say What did that say about Caesar? I would have dishonored his s to revere it Antony had usurped his place, then trampled on it And I had allowed it So they would say

I reached for the bottle, pried off its lid This is the least I can do to ht wildly Caesar, forgive me! It is not as the world would think You know that, but no one else will There is only one way to stop this dishonor I will not fail you a second tiive me! It is not as the world would think You know that, but no one else will There is only one way to stop this dishonor I will not fail you a second time

As I raised the bottle to lass ri, or soh to , and set it down What was I thinking of? It sat there, glea, like the snake's eyes in Meroe, and just as poisonous I raised the bottle to lass ri, or soh to , and set it down What was I thinking of? It sat there, glea, like the snake's eyes in Meroe, and just as poisonous

I backed away frou to down it? It was as if estions--all rational, all persuasive

Exceptthey ignored theelse--Antony's other children, Fulvia, Rome, Octavian, Caesar, bastardy, ridicule-- the Gods, and Isis, the great iven me a child I was its mother, and all the other facts were uniht me joy, so would this one What happened to their fathers was almost beside the point, or rather, it was a completely different point One could not cancel out the other

I fell weeping on the bed, afraid of how near I had co ould have been the one mistake--the only mistake--in all this And it could never have been undone, Oly

Perhaps it was Isis herself who had co cloths and lay down on the bed My hands arain, and I fell asleep, with deep relief

I awoke to find Olyathered cloth, and stuffed it into his basket He touched me tenderly and proudly Then he saw the full bottle on the table His face changed