Part 19 (1/2)
She caainly, her nails manicured with those square, white tips, the appeal of which I had never understood
”They called it co, brilliant They compared you to Poe, to Blake's Urizen Urizen”
I exhaled a silent exclaer advance than what they're offering, but otherwise, I think we're al It would happen I fell back against the seat, papers sliding to the floor around hed It bubbled out ofso hard that the sound came out with the sahed harder
Long h still incal ht And I have”-I checked ain-”a half hour before I board”
”Then cal to publish The advance didn't otiate anyway
”As you've noticed, I' of a philosopher Now, after the ascension of the God-ht perhaps he was tired of being abandoned by the strongest of his creations, theof El? I only know this: He is the author of the paradig” I could buy a new table I would get soo out on dates Would Aubrey hear? Would she call to congratulate me?
”I've said Israel was special to El But now soreat separation between the Jews and everyone else The Jeere set apart by law and favor of El, and the rest of the world was on its own unless someone converted El was a faithful lover of his people But now these new believers were going out and giving this e indiscriminately to anyone they met, Jew and non-Jew alike The rich ar on the street
”Letand believing and accepting this new grace, this new gift, looked exactly the sa stones like luminescent pearls in the muddied waters”
I recalled ht it a daydreahed like a fool,wild in my voice Why not? Why not Tell the Why lireat and totally undeserved gift-to any one race? Soon enough the entire ball of earth would be populated with pardoned, shi+ning souls, a great deposit of glowing stones, iht into the fold of that relationshi+p as only that first o
”I wasEl had bestowed upon these believers the rights of his own children, authority over all fallen things, if they wanted it Over ernail into her sternu ordered about, told to leave, cast out of ho only to El hiht of this And now hts returned to Mrs Russo, to the steeliness about her the day at the co-op, at the see
”I had foundyou How could I bear to be ordered about, ruled over by hurippedinto it I re at her skin as though it were covered with fungus
”But I need not have worried Lucifer, clever prince, had a plan His efforts until then were paltry by comparison We had been a haphazard force at best, only tenuously united-if you haven't noticed, loyalty and devotion are not our strong suits Now Lucifer unleashed a great storuerilla assaults, and attacked the children of El with every iinable weapon” Her eyes were mad, her lips animated by a terrible sht be assured of a future, but they were mortal yet”
”What did you do?” I sat very still
”We killed many of them A dead believer is a believer who cannot spread the word of redeoodthe same choice”
Inher blonde hair on the pavement My jubilation over my manuscript sobered
”Lucifer conscripted us all He would show the Alet hi The clay people were a miserable disappointment, and so they would continue to be, redeerace, and Lucifer would see to it Lucifer, the accuser called Satan, declared war”
A rustle of gray passed in the periphery of s were looking for seats Lucian stood up and, with a gracious smile and flash of a white watch face on her wrist, indicated her seat and the empty one next to it ”Sisters, please”
The nuns thanked her, and Lucian, delared at me over a perfect smile
26
My burn had turned to a tan in so in others-the day Helen calledhere It's really aes on her desk, my manuscript-my book It seemed such a part of ht as well have been my arm in front of her, er And I felt both pride and bereaveet me a contract to look over by Friday, that they'd like to release it in next year's second season if I thought I could finish it in the next two months Unable to take my eyes off it, I asked for five thousand dollars ed, saying she didn't see why they couldn'tis excited about this one I think they're going to have a heyday with it”
I smiled as one who comes out of a dream
”Sheila wasn't at her desk,” I said as I was about to leave I had spentwhat I would say to her, if I should even acknowledge our strange conversation or if she ht be embarrassed by it, as I was by my lack of sensitivity I had since realized that it wasn't just her call that had been so disturbing but her alar emotional state She had always been the one to listen with liaze and sympathetic tilt of her head, the one who communicated as much by her silence as her siirlish curves of her face and peak of her chin had struck erous, a weapon wielded as recklessly as a sleepwalker with a gun But after talking with her, I worried and wondered whether I ought to have invited her to call me back later, whether I should have called her the nexta few days off for personal reasons,” Helen said with a slight smile that seemed to say she knew exactly what those personal reasons were, that it was good ofme
As I turned at the door to thank her, I found the small floral back pillow abandoned on her chair and Helen coainst her breasts I could not reotten up from her chair to hold the door for me and see me out I could not remember the last time I had actually felt respected for my work as an editor or a writer
But I liked it
Inside the men's room, Phil stared bleakly into the mirror as he washed his hands He looked beyond tired, which was strange Always upbeat, even through his divorce and edding and birth of his son only a year and a half later, he had been the first-the only one, actually-to invite me out after ether at a couple of Red Sox gaed camaraderie, and I had politely declined his invitations since
”You all right?”
He nodded ”A lot happened while you were gone”
”Yeah?” I asked, trying to sound interested ”Helen said Sheila took a few days off Is she doing all right?”
Phil sighed, tugged a paper towel from the dispenser ”She went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning a few nights ago”
I stared,in on itself ”What?” In ht she called I felt guilty and not a little reprehensible
”She's going to be all right, though I guess it was close If Dan hadn't come back to pick up Amanda's epilepsy pills, who knows”
”I can't believe it It's so uncharacteristic of her,” I said woodenly ”It's the last thing Dan needs right now”