Part 18 (1/2)

There's a ainst the headrest, but it see me more unco our lastthe time of his nervous departure and Mrs Russo's appearance in her camel coat Mrs Russo, ent faithfully to church and soroup in her apartment

Spiritual static, he called it he called it

”They wondered at his rising from the dead, but that didn't amaze me I knew better than any mortal who this God-man was Of course his power extended over death as well”

This broughthe really rose froospel fact, if you'll pardon the expression, that it would happen Everything was co to horrible fruition I also kneould call back that part of him to himself, and this God-man would ascend to heaven Later, it struckLucifer atteht hand of the Alhty Lucifer took it as a blow, but the reality was harsher than that: Lucifer's star had been eclipsed by a new Son

”The followers of Jesus scattered to spread the news about what had happened And people began to believe with an insight that incensed and a for us to know that this Jewish carpenter had been ether different thing for the clay humans to believe it”

”What did it o on his polo stretched and sluan to see this redemptive blood for what it was and this man, this Messiah, for what he was And they saw it because El gave theift of his own Spirit, given first to the God- of his messianic blood and freely offered afterward To anyone It ful Gone were the days of Israel's elite, the heyday of the Jew Anyone could have this 'Holy Spirit' freely for the asking” He dropped his head back, reached up to adjust the airflow

”I'll never forget the first huift Beforeof darkness, like abut shadows nowhole, reflecting El's radiance, so that I had to-could not help but-turn away When I recovered, I saw that it was true; my eyes had not played me false On the outside he was still flawed But the soul inside had coh all defects had been erased There was only that loveliness, that light, shi+ning in him”

”But he was still human”

”Yes, but here was the difference: El drew close to those people who called to hiarden Not only did he ith thee them And in them I saw more than the uncanny rese beyond what they were originally meant to be: 'Children,' he called them”

”Children of God,” I said, with some wonder

”I hated theined any such thing Hades, I' that I'd never fathoel's drea How I craved it, jealous of your inheritance Like Cain to your Abel, wanting you to die”

His last words jarred me, and I remembered the final line of his e-mail

”For the first ti brilliance, the wearing of the years taking its toll upon hie The e came naturally to ht I would kill him had I only the power to do it”

”You used to adore him” Echoes of our first conversations washed over me like waves on a tranquil shore ”Oh, h was hard Gone was the slight ained in following him? What prize but the forfeiture of my soul? But even my hatred could not save me from misery Every moment I looked upon these followers, these renewed people, these believers-and their nu-the more wretched I became But as much as I wanted to kill Lucifer that day, I also wanted to rip froe of their new souls, knowing El had no such designs for us For e cart stopped in the aisle Over the top of Lucian's head, a flight attendant s to drink

HE WAS SILENT AFTER that, not looking atto it were a bloody Mary, his words still reverberating between us

”El had no such designs for us For me”

Shortly before we landed, he unbuckled his seat belt and got up, ostensibly to go to the lavatory, but he never came back As the plane taxied to the terminal, I noted his shoes, still under the seat in front of us

24

I lay on the beach beneath an umbrella, the skin of my chest and back too pink to withstand the sun That had happened the first day despite 45 SPF lotion Between the sunburn and the swelling inreselad to be out of Boston, to feel the air on my arms and chest, to sit with my laptop at the breakfast buffet and read-even with pen in hand-by the side of the pool I could get used to wearing swirill for a burger whenever thethe bikini-clad scenery

I passed on the Coronas and Dos Equis, which was no hardshi+p, never having been a beer drinker, but a shot of tequila had never sounded so good

I didn't need it I had run uphere, but it orth every all-inclusive penny The only thing h he had truly disappeared on the plane that day, leaving only his shoes behind I tried not to think about it; doing so sent e stutters even when I was at rest Obviously, I needed this reprieve And I deserve it, And I deserve it, I thought, as I gazed out over the pale turquoise water Out toward the Cabo San Lucas arch where the Sea of Cortez hty Pacific, wave runners scored the surface with raised white welts, and the sun dappled the water with platinuazed out over the pale turquoise water Out toward the Cabo San Lucas arch where the Sea of Cortez hty Pacific, wave runners scored the surface with raised white welts, and the sun dappled the water with platinu Do you knohat they look like, these believers?

I saw the daubing brushstrokes of the sun on the ocean-except that it was no longer an ocean The water was running too swiftly, and I could see the bottom It was a brook, a creek, and the stones of the bed shone beneath it They were iridescent, glittering through water that ran clear in the middle but muddy in the eddies A clump of dirt broke off from the side of the strea pebbles glinted through the mud and debris

A child ran pell-mell toward the water, chased by his mother The sound jolted me, and I realized I had drifted into reverie

Soht of Lucian walking along the beach by the light of the ht blue of the ocean, a cloud passed before the sun, di it I could not see from beneath my umbrella that it was a thunderhead

THAT EVENING, RAIN PELTED the balcony of room 408 A rare storm, they called it So unusual this ti see becoless to me

I was, however, troubled by Lucian's near silence I expected hiht even-to rath into etheht thread But despite his constant assertions that our ti shorter, even-he never showed

During the daylight, with burgers by the pool and shts coe not to think about it too h the beautiful drinks on poolside trays to the cheap, plastic glasses and recognized the second-rate nature of the evening entertaine beside the outdoor bar as I ate my dinner fro heauchefroold scrollwork chipped where careless workers had run into it, the cracking Mexican tile beneath the staircases

I could not help but think of the horand, reduced to a pile of rubble

One night as I ateat a table off to the side of the stage They appeared neither raucously drunk nor so old that they applauded the dancers in the way that grandparents did at dance recitals

In fact, there were no drinks on the table in front of theed him to be in his thirties-looked perfectly at ease in his Billabong T-shi+rt and cargo shorts, and the woant in her beaded halter, they reminded me of the men at the mall, of the tomen at the bar in the Four Seasons Hotel, so that I finished ht of their gazes upon my back as I strode across the pool area toward ht of the laht, the black of the ocean seey, irritated, checking the clock, the calendar on my laptop

The wind shi+fted, and water pelted the casing of the sliding glass door I got up to close it, and as I did, the phone rang The sound, so electric, so ainst the backdrop of rain, of the waves I was able to hear fro of a phone in four days

I frowned The tour desk had tried relentlessly to sell me any number of day excursions, all of which I had declined-could they have taken to phoning my room? But it ell past ten o'clock, the ti, or in town at the Cabo Wabo Cantina hoping for an appearance by Saar

When I answered, the voice on the other end of the phone was thick and so emotive that I barely made out the sound of my own name

”hello?”

”Clay? How did you do it?”

”Sheila?” I said, confused I had left the nu came up at work-or if the coood news that couldn't wait until I returned In fact, Sheila was the only one with my hotel number, as Mrs Russo had not yet returned fro to keep away from Mrs Russo