Volume I Part 3 (2/2)
FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
It is always very delightful when the families of an engaged couple find themselves congenial, and every effort should be made by the young people to bring about, if it does not already exist, a harmonious relations.h.i.+p between their immediate families. It is almost equally desirable that each shall like the friends of the other and heroic efforts must be made to do so. A pleasing way to bring friends together is by means of an informal reception. The invitations should be cordial notes written by hand. The following indicates the usual form:
_Bayside, April 4, 19--_
_Dear May:_
_No doubt you already know that I am engaged to be married to Ralph Curran. Thursday afternoon from three to five mother is giving a little reception for his friends and mine, and we both hope that you will be able to attend._
_Cordially yours,_
_Helen Hall._
For the members of the immediate families or for very close friends a dinner is suggested but the most important point for the family which is doing the entertaining to keep in mind is the style of living to which the other has been accustomed, and nothing should be done which might embarra.s.s them. If the family has been accustomed to great elegance the one that is acting as host need have no fear for people who are worth knowing appreciate simplicity wherever they find it; but if they are in very moderate circ.u.mstances it is the cruellest kind of discourtesy to attempt to overawe them with ceremonious hospitality.
It is ordinarily the family of the groom that is first to approach the other with an invitation of some kind, but extenuating circ.u.mstances make the convention vary. Often a young girl is invited to visit in the home of her fiance before her marriage. It is an invitation which she may accept with perfect propriety.
CHAPTER IV
WEDDING INVITATIONS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS
THE WEDDING INVITATION
Not later than fifteen days, and not earlier than four weeks before the date set for the marriage, wedding invitations are sent to those friends, relatives and acquaintances who are to be present at the ceremony. When the wedding is to be a large church affair, invitations are sent to all those whose names appear on the visiting lists of the two families. They are also issued to relatives and friends of the bride and groom who may be traveling abroad, to the important business a.s.sociates of the groom, and those of the bride's father. Intimate friends and relatives in mourning are also invited, whether they are expected to attend or not.
For a home wedding, more discrimination is shown in the issuing of invitations. Intimate friends and relatives of both families are invited, but no casual acquaintances. In sending out the invitations, the bride-to-be and her mother should take into consideration the number of people who will fit comfortably into the reception or drawing room.
SIZE AND MATERIAL
Formal wedding invitations should always be engraved. They are issued in the name of the bride's parents, or, if she is an orphan, in the names of a married brother and his wife, of her guardian or her nearest male relative.
Pure white or cream-tinted paper, unglazed but smooth in surface, should be used for wedding invitations. A conventional size, although each year sees another size in wedding invitations, is seven inches in length by six inches in width. These dimensions vary, but never more than an inch or so. They fold once into the envelope. Plain script is favored for the engraving of the wedding cards; old English script, Roman capitals and block lettering are all effective. A good stationer will show you the types of lettering most suited to wedding invitations at the present time. It is his business to be able to advise you.
If there is a family crest (the bride's family) it may be embossed in white in the center at the top of the engraved sheet, but not on the flap of the envelope. A recent fas.h.i.+on is to have the bride's initials embossed in white where the crest would appear. Both are effective; but such decorations as gilt-edges, entwined letters of coats-of-arms in colors are in bad taste.
Very fine paper should be selected for the wedding invitation. No tint except cream may be used; pure-white is considered the very best form.
The paper should be of medium weight, unglazed, and smooth.
Light-weight paper through which lettering can be easily seen should not be used. Nor should the paper be so thick and heavy that it breaks when folded.
KINDS OF ENVELOPES
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