Part 20 (2/2)

Even in the gathering twilight he could see her eyes darken.

”You're still planning to goaaren't you?” she said quietly.

He nodded. He hated to see the hurt look on her face. If only she understood his impossible situation.

”I'm sorry,” she whispered into the soft darkness. ”I was hoping you'd want to stay.”

Her words tore at Laramie's soul.

”Arianaayou knowaI can't,” he argued, his voice husky with his emotions. ”I can't.”

”Buta””

”We don't even know for sureawho I am,” he continued, turning toward her.

”But we do. Your mother's Biblea””

”It might not even be my ma's. We are just goin' on Sam's say-soa”an' Sam ain't exactly one ya'd stake yer life on.”

”Buta””

”I might be thetathet person named there. She might have been my maabut I've still got lots of questions. I meanasheashe jest don't seem to fitawith him. The pictureathe pretty thingsathe Bible.”

”Maybe we can find the answersa”together.”

He took her by the shoulders and turned her toward him.

”I'm a wanted man,” he reminded her.

He could see the tears spring into her eyes and slip unbidden down her cheeks.

”That doesn't matter,” she whispered intensely.

For one moment he looked deeply into her eyes. ”It does to me,” he answered, and his words were spoken with finality. ”It matters a whole lot to me. IaI'm not a free man. I'ma”

A sigh from somewhere deep within him stopped his words. He took another deep breath and contiued.

”I'll be leavin' before sunup.” The words sounded blunt. Harsh.

She looked hurta”and angry. She pushed his hands off her shoulders. ”Go thena”go if you must.”

She took two steps back from him and stood silently. He could see her shoulders lift and fall.

When she lifted her face the tears were falling freely. Her chin quivered. But her voice was now soft.

”I'm sorry,” she apologized. ”I had no rightaI had hoped thatayou'd wish toa”

She lifted her head and stared into his face, her eyes pleading.

”What I want has nothin'a”” he began quickly, but he couldn't finish. The unvoiced thoughts seemed to tear at his very being.

Ariana stood before him, paying no heed to the tears that wet her cheeks. ”Nothing will change your mind, will it?” she managed to say barely above a whisper. ”Please, pleasea”just promise me one thing,” she implored. ”When you've sorted it outa”pleasea”come back.”

And then she was gonea”and a big part of Laramie went with her.

Chapter Nineteen.

Adjustments When Ariana opened her eyes the next morning, her first thought was of Laramie. Did he really mean to do what he had insisted on the night before? Surelya”surely he had changed his mind. He wouldn't just ride out of her life. Leaving hera”alone again.

She scrambled from the bed and crossed quickly to the window, lifting back the curtain and peering out. Her heart was racing as she looked toward the corrals. ”Please, G.o.da”” she whispered, but even before she could finish her prayer her eyes fell on the little roan, his head extended over the top rail of the corral fence as he gazed off down the rutted country road toward the distant hills. He had been left alone. The buckskin and the black pack animal were gone. With them had gone Laramie.

Ariana felt like the pony. Deserted. Alone. She returned to the bed, where she threw herself down and wept.

Laramie rode all day. He wasn't sure where he was going. Wasn't sure what he would do when he got there, but he knew one thing. He had to put some miles between himself and Ariana. Had to be sure that he couldn't give in to impulsea”to turn around and head back to her. He had no right. No right to love such a girl. He wasn't sure just who he was, but he was a wanted man. He knew that. Raids. Robbery. Rustling. He didn't know what the penalty might be for his crimes. He had even shot a few men. True, one could argue self-defensea”and he'd never shot to kill. But he'd used his gun. What would that mean? Imprisonment? Hanging? He had no idea. But he was sure he'd better stay well away from any lawmena”and Ariana.

His life looked bleak. He was a man on the run.

Ariana moved woodenly through the days. She spent hours with the little roan. They had been left, but they were together. Now they needed to start to rebuild their lives.

The fact that Ariana's father and mother were coming helped her to look forward. Each day she checked off one more day on the calendar. But she was restless. Cut adrift. She couldn't slip back into the same comfortable ruta”nor did she seem to be able to slide into a new one. It was difficult.

If I could have gone back home, it would have been different, she told herself. I could have gone back to my teachingato the churchaand life could have picked up where it left off. But thisaI don't know where I fit. Don't know how I should fit. I'm floundering.

Ariana busied herself with helping her aunt Molly. She even ran errands for her uncle Jake. They were soon declaring they didn't know how they'd ever gotten on without her. Still, she was restless and agitated.

Daily her thoughts went to Laramie. Where was he? Was he all right? Was he still looking for answers? Had he found at least some of them?

”Oh, G.o.d,” she prayed over and over. ”May he realize that you have the important answers. That you can forgive. That you love him, too.”

Wisely, she turned to her Bible. Back to the wisdom and comfort of its pages. I need to look up all those verses on trust again, she told herself. I thought I had learned that lessonabut I guess I need to start all over.

So Ariana began again to explore the Scriptures.

The day finally arrived when the incoming stage brought the Bensons. Ariana's excitement was easily matched by her parents'. It was so wonderful to be held in her father's firm embrace, to hear his whispered words of love. Her mother's tears of joy, the familiar fussing over her, made them all laugh and cry and thank G.o.d together. Then they turned to having a good visit with Jake and Molly.

They had brought all of Ariana's things. ”It wouldn't be safe for you to come homea”not yet,” Ariana's mother insisted, wiping away tears as she spoke.

”Who'll teach my students?” asked Ariana.

”They are looking for a new teacher for the fall,” was the reply. ”The children have already lost half the term.”

”Why don't you teach here?” Aunt Molly asked.

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