Volume Iii Part 27 (1/2)

Grace felt an acute and miserable pang of self-reproach; she was afraid now that her husband might find out, and she knew that the loss of his esteem would be terrible to her. He and Margaret thought so much alike; what could she do?

His appointment was worth a few hundreds a year, and the six hundred a year she had was counted in arranging their expenses.

Whenever the future was talked of, this miserable idea haunted her. When Paul advised her to get something, whenever money was in question, there was this one constant weight upon her mind, and the strange thing to herself was, that now she began to see a little as he did, and she could not now understand how she had reconciled herself to accepting it, how she could have claimed her right to this money so complacently.

Paul had proposed to her, thinking her penniless, and the small fortune had been a joyful surprise. How she wished now that she had never had anything to do with it!

But she could not see her way out of it. She knew that, if she spoke to Margaret, Margaret would do without things and help her, but for that very reason she could not speak to her.

Paul saw that his wife was not quite so bright as usual, but he thought she was tired, and was full of affectionate solicitude. Every attention he paid her, every kind word he uttered, gave her an additional pang.

They slept two nights on the journey, as Grace had always to be careful, and within an hour of London Mr. Stevens got into the carriage.

Grace saw him enter with some misgiving. The horrible thought occurred to her that perhaps he might refer in some way to investments or something that might lead her husband to make inquiry. She could only answer by speaking the truth. To her immense relief Paul said, ”As you have some one to talk to now I will go and smoke,” and so saying he left her with Mr. Stevens.

Grace felt now or never was her opportunity. Before Mr. Stevens could look round she poured out her trouble with a rapidity and vehemence that astonished him. When he, at length understood, he entered very fully into it all.

”Your husband is quite right; I should have the same feeling about it,”

he said.

”That makes it worse for me,” said Grace, colouring, ”but perhaps you have never had my temptation; you were never dependent upon others--very nearly penniless.”

”Penniless, yes! Dependent, no!” he answered, ”since I could work for my living.”

”Mr. Sandford ruled my fate and Margaret's,” answered Grace, ”and that was never thought of; but I wish--oh! how I wish--I knew what to do.

Would he help me?”

”Mr. Sandford is the one person who could help you,” said Mr. Stevens; ”a frank appeal to him might be productive of much good, and my advice to you is not to hide your trouble from your husband; let him know it; the fewer secrets between married people the less likely they are ever to disagree.”

”I will tell him some day,” answered Grace, ”but I have behaved very badly to Mr. Sandford--he has no reason to love me.”

”He is a man who has much to contend against, but he is a generous man.

He never grudges money, and he can but say he can do nothing. I hope you left all well at Inchbrae,” he said, with a resolute turning away from the subject.

”'_All_' consisting of Mrs. Dorriman and my sister,” laughed Grace, rallying the moment her trouble was put out of sight.

”Ah! I am going there next week to meet Mr. Sandford; there is still something to be arranged between us.”

”Then,” asked Grace, ”could you not say something for me? Could you not speak to Mr. Sandford for me?”

”I could, certainly, but Mr. Sandford dislikes me, and after all, to speak plain English, Mrs. Lyons, what can he do? There is only one way in which he can help you. If he chooses to pay you your income out of his own pocket, or to pay fifteen thousand pounds to your account. When you talk of help--which is an exceedingly vague word--you should put it in its practical form.”

”Then everything is at an end,” exclaimed Grace, and she leaned back upon the cus.h.i.+ons in despair.

”I do not quite agree with you,” he answered, ”only I wished you to see the practical side of the question; there is no use in my going to a man like Mr. Sandford and when he puts the question, '_What does she expect me to do?_' have nothing to reply on your account.”

”I cannot ask him to give me fifteen thousand pounds, it is impossible!”

said Grace flus.h.i.+ng at the curt tone used by Mr. Stevens.