Volume I Part 16 (2/2)
He dwelt upon her words in the way that people have of hugging a painful remembrance. There _must_ be some one else he thought, and he tried so to comfort himself, but in vain. His vanity was wounded, but he was too thoroughly in love with her to heed that so much, he was cruelly hurt.
What was the use of the flattering a.s.sertions of his people? he had always been a.s.sured of success if he wanted success, and now he had failed.
He was very silent, subdued, and unhappy. He longed now for recovery; the place was hateful to him. He dreaded seeing Margaret again; he was afraid Mr. Sandford might read his story; he was irritable and restless, and very very miserable.
On the top of this came the answer from his cautious manager strongly advising him against Mr. Sandford's scheme, and giving very excellent reasons with which he could not but be content.
He was so fully aware of his own incompetency, that he never for a moment disputed his conclusion; but he was too much upset, too much unlike himself, that night, to go into anything in the shape of business, and he was wheeled into his own room early, pleading headache, and happy to escape from the family party that evening, and be alone with his unhappiness.
His absence created no surprise. Mr. Sandford was indifferent; he was a little annoyed by some checks he had met with in his business things, and a little more irritable than usual, a little harder about Grace's shortcomings, and very violent and disagreeable to her all dinner-time.
Margaret was still unhinged. Mr. Drayton's words had agitated her, and she was sorry for him, more sorry than she could express, when she saw how really he suffered. She could not understand how it was that he could see any merit in her, while Grace was by; only to be sure, Grace had been so persistently antagonistic. But for that she, Margaret, would have escaped, and Grace would have known what to say so much better.
Thinking it over she was afraid she had been unkind, but she had been so taken by surprise.
It was not till the sisters were in their own room, and the house was hushed for the night, that Margaret told Grace what had happened.
Their favourite way of talking when the weather made it possible, was standing at their open window--a window that looked a little away from the town; the clear air predominated over the smoke of the busy town then, and what remained was hardly perceptible. The great deep blue sky of night with its ”thousand eyes” made up to them for the dull darkness of the days. When it was chilly, one plaid covered them both as the two young faces looked out into the stillness, and whispered their thoughts to each other there.
”Grace,” said Margaret, in a low tone, feeling shy even with her sister, her other self, about the great event of the day, ”I have something to tell you, something we never dreamed of, that you will be as much surprised to hear as I was.”
She clung a little closer to her sister, putting her arm round her waist.
”Have you?” asked Grace, wonderingly, but not roused to much curiosity as yet: ”it is wonderful that anything can happen in this place. Every day is like the day that has gone before; each day is as dull and as empty of anything we can care about.”
”You will be surprised, Grace; but I want you to promise not to laugh at him.”
”Laugh at him!” re-echoed Grace. ”Is it Mr. Sandford?”
”No, he knows nothing, and of course we must not tell him.”
”Him--you said I was not to laugh at _him_,” said Grace, suddenly startled into consciousness. ”Is it anything connected with Mr.
Drayton?”
”Yes,” murmured Margaret, in a low voice, ”he spoke to me this evening.
He told me, Grace, that he--loved me. I was so sorry about it.”
”Why should you be sorry? It must not be thought of in a hurry; but we must try and be sensible about it,” answered Grace.
”It does not require much thought,” said Margaret, surprised, almost bewildered, by her sister's quiet tone, as if the question could be weighed. ”I told him at once it was quite impossible of course.”
”But you need not have done it in such a hurry, why not think it over?”
Grace spoke as though she was disappointed.
Margaret was conscious of the keenest pain she had ever known in all her life. She paused for a moment, almost breathless. Her sister, then, saw a possible conclusion widely different from hers: that she did so seemed to set them further apart in feeling than they had ever been. ”You yourself have done nothing but laugh at him, we have laughed together,”
she said in a pained voice; ”he was to be the prince, and he came, and you yourself said how middle-aged and uninteresting he was--do you forget, Grace?”
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