Part 3 (1/2)

Hayden settled back, taking absent-minded pleasure in the soft creak of the leather. He stared at the suspended ceiling, the gleaming baffled louvres of the light diffusers, and wondered where to begin. ”I had this toothache,” he began; and then thought: G.o.d, the toothache, yeah. What about that? Where does pain go, when it goes? We remember the fact of its having happened: rationally, its existence is accessible to us as a memory, and all the rest of it. But does the body itself remember on some cellular level, tissue, meat and pulp? Not in the same way, or else we'd surely go crazy. Imagine if each component part of us had 24/7 sentience in its own right, equal broadcasting time, like candidates in the Presidential debate. Suppose each bone, each nerve ending, had its own hotline to the sensorium; imagine the clamour, as the body became a Grand Central of sensation, a Babel of reaction . . .

”A toothache?” Dr. Pang was waiting patiently. Hayden blinked, and tried to pick up his thread. ”Er, sorry, yes. It started about a month ago, I suppose, just as I was arriving in Hong Kong.”

”A month? My goodness.” Dr. Pang was the picture of respectful sympathy. ”Four weeks is a very long time to be in pain. Was it perhaps not so bad at first?”

”No . . . I mean yes. It was very painful.” If the Eskimos have all those words for snow, supposedly, then how come extreme discomfort boils down to a single syllable? True pain is irreducible, probably; indivisible, unchanging at the root. There are modifiers, quantifiers, stabbing and throbbing, acute and severe and all the rest of them, but they really just serve to dress up the thing in itself: the monad constant and impregnable, the primordial principle of existence. Ouch. It hurts, therefore I am.

Dr. Pang's alert expressive face settled into a troubled moue. He shook his head slightly, as if in reproof. ”Then you should have come to see me before now. Have you taken anything for the pain?”

Hayden felt in his pockets for the mangled remains of the various blister packs he'd picked up at the pharmacy, and handed them to Dr. Pang to be tutted over. ”I was going through those a strip at a time at one point,” he confessed, resettling himself in the dentist's chair. ”Popping them like M&Ms. The thing was, none of them were really working.”

”Of course not.” Dr. Pang was shaking his head again, more in sorrow than in anger. ”Over-the-counter medications such as these: you cannot expect them to deal with severe neuralgic pain. The problem must be dealt with at the root, Mr Hayden. Literally, in this case.” He allowed himself an unpresumptuous smile.

”Yes . . . ” Hayden was thinking. ”Yes, I see that now, of course. Stupid of me, really.” He rubbed a thumb experimentally along the point of his jaw. ”I suppose it must have been around the third night when I just couldn't bear it any longer . . . ”

Somewhere towards the witching hour, after the last of the cheap pills had worn off, he admitted to himself there was nothing for it but to seek help. He ought to have done it before, of course, but a quick status check had confirmed his worst fears: his bargain-bas.e.m.e.nt traveller's insurance didn't cover emergency dental treatment. He'd have to pay for the treatment himself, and if the pricing policies of the first ten local dentists on the list he'd googled on his laptop were at all representative, even a quick backstreet extraction sans anaesthetic would leave a hole in his current account roughly the size of Hong Kong harbour. This trip was running on the very edge of profitability as it was: one thumping dental bill would leave him dangerously out of pocket.

Over and above that-go on, admit it-he just didn't like dentists. They scared him: everything about them, their white coats, their whirring drills, the lights they shone in your eyes. Their cold unblinking stares, as they leaned over you and stuck sharp metal spikes into your soft pink gums. The way they charged you an arm and a leg for the privilege of inflicting their medically sanctioned torture. Dentists? Monsters. Who else would volunteer for a job like that? It was a measure of the extremity of Hayden's predicament that he'd even considered going to one in the first place. Now, having come to the end of his tether, he was checking through the small-print of his freelance employment contract to see whether it might cover medical treatment. It didn't, of course: Hayden could almost hear the sn.i.g.g.e.rs of the s.a.d.i.s.ts in the legal department as they carefully precluded even the possibility of such a claim. Smug toothy b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. He stuffed the contract back in his briefcase, riffled through the rest of his papers- -and came up with the Scientific American he'd bought for the flight. The magazine was folded open to the last article he'd been reading, back on the plane: ”MIRACLE” CHINESE DENTAL TREATMENT TO UNDERGO TRIALS IN WEST. Squinting from the pain, he tried to focus on the headline; the final clause dissolved beneath his crosseyed scrutiny, leaving just four enormous words that filled the entire page, like newspaper declarations of war. ”MIRACLE” CHINESE DENTAL . . . and as he stared, those super-cautious quotes, those weasel qualifiers, seemed to dwindle all the way into transparency and pop like tiny bubbles in champagne. A miracle; Christ, yes, that was what he wanted, a bucket of that, please.

The hotel porter, once buzzed up to the room and acquainted with the contents of Hayden's wallet, was gratifyingly eager to help. Hayden handed him the copy of Scientific American: scanning through the article intently, he nodded from time to time, then looked up. ”You want-drugs!” he announced brightly.

”No-well, sort of, yes-look, I want medicine.” Hayden pointed to the article, then to his swollen cheek. ”Medicine. For toothache.”

”Medicine . . . ?” The porter (whose name was Jimmy Tsui) frowned. ”You use up all your medicine already?” Only the night before, he'd pointed Hayden in the direction of the pharmacy round the corner.

”It's not strong enough,” explained Hayden. ”I need something much much stronger-do you understand?”

”Sooo . . . you want drugs?”

”Not just any drugs,” insisted Hayden. ”This drug. I want to know where in Hong Kong I can go to get some of this-look, here, this miracle Chinese dental treatment, see?” Why was everything so complicated?

Between Hayden's ravaged jaw and the magazine article, enlighten-ment gradually dawned on Jimmy Tsui. He jabbed a finger at the magazine and rattled off a musical burst of syllables. It might have been a brand name; it sounded pithy and to the point, uuan-shan-dhol. Hayden tried it out himself: ”w.a.n.g-chang . . . wan-shang-dole? Is that this? The miracle thing?”

”Miracle, yes . . . ” The porter nodded hard, his eyes saucer-wide in the wonderment of understanding. ”You want-ask man about this?” He indicated the article, its ill.u.s.tration of a human head scanned by MRI into skull-like abstraction, all fangs and empty eye sockets. ”Man who will sell you medicine . . . for this?” He pointed gingerly at Hayden's mouth.

”G.o.d, yes! Do you know anywhere I can get it? I can go up to five thousand Hong Kong, maybe seven . . . ”

At long last, the porter seemed to have grasped it. ”I know good doctor, yes, he got-all what you want! My s.h.i.+ft-over, fifteen minutes! We take taxi into Mong Kok, you and me!” He tapped a finger against his nose, then laughed a trifle nervously as Hayden followed suit. Almost weeping at the prospect of relief, Hayden made to shake his hand, but the porter was already excusing himself, slipping backwards through the door in a deferential bow.

And so, soon after midnight, Hayden found himself crossing the harbour in the company of Jimmy Tsui. The taxi injected them directly into the rush and clamour of the Mong Kok strip, close by Sim City and the soaring Grand Tower. Even at this hour the bright sidewalks were chock-full of pedestrians jammed shoulder-to-shoulder, streets glittering and congested like the chutes of the pac.h.i.n.ko machines in the slot parlours, all played out to a chorus of tinny chipmusic leaking from headphones and shop doorways. Above their heads neon advertis.e.m.e.nts flickered the length of Shantung Street, pulsing through the pollution layer, making rainbows on the oily tarmac underfoot. The night smelled of spent fireworks and overheated motherboards.

Jimmy tugged at his sleeve, once, twice. ”Not far now! Follow me!” Hayden did his best to keep up with the porter as he dodged and shouldercharged across the road. Once he caught sight of himself in an unlit window: the surgical face-mask with which Jimmy had thought-fully provided him-”Best you wear this-keep mouth hidden!”-made him look like the mad doctor in a Frankenstein movie. It was all in the eyes, he decided, before hastening on to follow Jimmy down a narrow entranceway between two buildings.

The walls on either side leaned in so close there was barely room for Hayden and Jimmy to walk line abreast. Optimistically, or else suicidally, a gang of kids came rollerblading at breakneck speed towards them: Hayden flattened himself against the graffitied concrete as they whizzed past, one hand raised to guard his face. Up ahead Jimmy had come to another right turn; he waited for Hayden to catch up before gesturing theatrically and exclaiming, ”This Night-town! You in Night-town now!”

Night-town took the form of another, wider alley running parallel to the strip. Each of the commercial premises stripside seemed to have its corresponding-probably unlicensed-counterpart round the back: some were simple stalls of wood-strut and canvas, while others were breezeblock lean-tos built straight on to the backs of the buildings. Jury-rigged lighting run illegally off the mains lit up the bustling alley: between that and whatever moonlight could reach the concrete canyon, Hayden could just about pick his way through the detritus underfoot. Dismembered cardboard boxes blocked his way; drifts of Styrofoam packing beads, twisted snares of parcel strap, split plastic bags in the process of leaking their unguessable contents. Bedded down amongst the rubbish here and there were people lying slumped against the walls, needy or beyond need, it was impossible to tell. Whenever they pa.s.sed one of these unfortunates, heads lolling anyhow, skins the colour and texture of mushrooms grown in tunnels, Jimmy would grab Hayden's arm and hurry him onwards. All the while, the ambulant dwellers of Night-town padded past on their backstreet errands, cl.u.s.tering briefly by each chop stall before disappearing off into the shadows.

Extractor fans heaved and whirred stale second-hand odours at them: cigarette smoke, fast food, generator fumes. Hayden pulled his mask up over his nose and pressed on after Jimmy. Which of these booths was to be their destination? This one, perhaps: the concrete box with no door stacked floor to ceiling with cans of Kirin beer? Or the one opposite: racks of old iPods and Wiis, all scorched and heat-warped, the pinstriped proprietor perched toadlike on a tiny stool in the doorway, both hands permanently hidden inside the open briefcase that lay across his knees? Maybe this one: a whole wall full of Blu-ray discs, no cases, the discs hung up on nails, their laser-etched data tracks scattering rainbow moires of light across the faces of the teenagers who examined them.

None of these, of course. Instead, Jimmy stopped outside a plain doorway towards the end of the block, in between a dirty-looking noodle parlour and a tattooist's with screaming demon s.h.i.+ngle. ”This way,” he announced proudly, ”the bas.e.m.e.nt!” He ushered Hayden through the door, and followed after him down a flight of concrete stairs. At the first turn there lay sprawled another of the mushroom people. Hayden stepped gingerly over him, but Jimmy administered a sharp kick in the ribs that sent the man cras.h.i.+ng against the wall. ”Filthy monkey,” he spat after the unfortunate indigent as he scrambled away up the steps. He turned to Hayden. ”You follow me,” he urged, and pushed past him down the stairway. By the light of red emergency bulbs, they continued their descent.

Down to an open fire-door, before which Jimmy stopped and looked round, nervously it seemed. Hayden smiled encouragingly, then realised he was still wearing the face mask. ”You come please,” said Jimmy, holding wide the door.

The corridor beyond was disturbingly dark, lit only by a crack of greenish light that shone through a door left ajar at the further end. It didn't look like normal room-lighting; Hayden was put in mind of the luminosity of certain sea creatures, or weird electrical discharges like Saint Elmo's fire. Jimmy jogged down the corridor and gave a sharp double knock at the door, then vanished inside after signalling Hayden to wait.

Hayden heard voices through the open door, Jimmy's first of all, then that of another, much older-sounding man. After a few seconds Jimmy reappeared. He positioned himself very close to Hayden and spoke almost directly into his ear.

”Doctor has agree to see you. Make-examination! Ready in a little while.”

”That's good,” said Hayden uneasily. The subterranean consultant will see you now. They waited by the door, during which time Jimmy played a game of Tetris on his mobile phone. In the absence of chairs and magazines in this unorthodox waiting room, Hayden got bored; he made as if to take a look inside, but was blocked off rapidly by Jimmy. ”Wait one minute!”

Frustrated, Hayden gestured with his hands at the bare corridor; Jimmy shrugged, I don't make the rules round here. But even as he spoke, a guttural word of command came from inside the room, and Jimmy clapped his hands in satisfaction. Taking Hayden by the shoulders, he propelled him through the doorway. ”See you outside,” he said, and vanished.

What had Hayden been expecting? Something stagey and traditional, a scene from the movies: a whiff of the mysterious East. An old-fas.h.i.+oned apothecary's with boxes of dried frogs, incense on braziers and twirling paper lanterns; or a smoky Triad opium den, the lair of Fu Manchu. What he actually found himself in was something else again.

It was a plain concrete bunker, dank and claustrophobic, lined floor to ceiling with industrial slotted shelving. There were no light-fittings, nor were there any candles or lanterns. The only illumination came from an enormous fish-tank, which was lit partly by electric light, and partly by the eerie bioluminescence of whatever was inside it-Hayden couldn't quite make it out, and wasn't really sure he wanted to know anyway. Silhouetted against the greenly glowing tank was a figure, standing very close to the gla.s.s but facing Hayden.

He'd sounded like an elderly man, but looking at him now he could have been any age. Between the green medical cap and a face-mask like Hayden's own hardly any of his features were exposed, and over his eyes he wore tinted swimmer's goggles. The rest of his uniform consisted of a green smock and dark trousers, terminating an inch or so above his rope sandals; old man's ankles, noted Hayden, glad to have something to cling on to. The overall effect was deeply unsettling, and probably only a man in Hayden's sort of pain would have dreamed of going through with it. But he was desperate, and he wanted more than anything to get it over with, so he advanced a couple of steps into the room and bowed slightly.

The doctor said something brusque and croaky. Hayden thought of fetching Jimmy in to translate, then remembered that rolled up in his coat pocket was the invaluable copy of Scientific American. Bowing once more, he held out the magazine, indicating the article in question. The doctor made no attempt to look at it. Hayden gestured again for him to take it; this time the doctor extended a rubber-gloved hand and s.n.a.t.c.hed the magazine away. He studied it for a minute, then rolled it up very tight as if wringing a chicken's neck. He stared at his patient blankly, waiting for him to acquire basic conversational Mandarin perhaps. Behind him, the air filtration unit in the tank bubbled softly.

Hayden had hoped the doctor would catch on sooner. What to do? Gingerly, he removed his face-mask, the better to articulate his wants. ”Aaangh,” he said, mouth wide open, finger pointing inside to the source of all his misery. ”Naad toos. Agh ong.” Surely the old codger could see what the matter was? ”Bad tooth. That one.” Please.

The doctor unrolled the magazine, looked from the article to the inside of Hayden's mouth and back again. He traced his finger along the text and read aloud, ”Den-tee-shon . . . denteeshon?” He looked back up at Hayden. Hayden nodded his encouragement. ”Denteeshon,'”the old man repeated pugnaciously. Again Hayden nodded. The doctor spread his hands wide in the universal mime for no idea, and threw the magazine at Hayden's feet.

Hayden scowled, then winced as his wrecked tooth yanked on its taproot of agony. How difficult was this going to be? ”Look, I've got a toothache,” he said, speaking slowly and emphasising words as if clarity alone would render them comprehensible to the doctor. To drive the point home, he pulled back his lips from his teeth to reveal the offending molar. ”Hajg hju-” the doctor recoiled as if offended, and Hayden removed his fingers from his mouth-”Have you got any of this stuff?” He tapped the headline, ran his saliva-smeared finger beneath the familiar words, words that now only mocked him: ”MIRACLE” CHINESE DENTAL TREATMENT. The old man shrugged, and Hayden felt like picking him up, all six stone of him, and shaking him till the medication fell out. Why couldn't everyone speak English, for G.o.d's sake?

On the verge of giving up and going back to the hotel, he tried one more time. ”Jimmy, the man who brought me here? He said you'd be able to get me treatment for it. Like in the magazine?” Pointing at the Scientific American on the floor. ”He called it wan-chang something . . . w.a.n.g-shan-dole?”

Behind the face-mask came a sharp hiss of indrawn breath. The doctor had understood that part, all right. Emboldened, Hayden repeated it, pointing at his tooth: ”w.a.n.g-shan-dole?” He smiled, hoping at last to get the consultation properly under way.

Quaveringly, the old man pointed at him, and fired off a breathy burst of Cantonese; something fast and high and wildly inflected. It ended in uuan-shan-dhol and a question mark, and a finger insistently jabbed in Hayden's direction.

Hayden seized eagerly on the one thing he thought he recognised. ”Wan-shan-dole,” he a.s.sented, pointing at himself.

Even under his mask there was something almost comically incredulous in the doctor's att.i.tude-what, you?-as he let off another volley of Cantonese, again with that magic uuan-shan-dhol tucked away in it. Before Hayden could agree with him, the doctor was off and rooting through his shelves.

Without turning to Hayden he kept up a running commentary out of the corner of his mouth, shaking his head and throwing in the odd uuan-shan-dhol for good measure. At the time, Hayden was too impatient to register subtleties, but looking back later he got the feeling the old man didn't really care to have him in the room much longer than was absolutely necessary, now he'd diagnosed the problem.

After all that fuss, it took the doctor less than a minute to come up with the goods: a pocket-sized cardboard box completely covered with small print in Pinyin and Standard Script. He held it out at arm's length; Hayden went to take it from him, and had to grab it as it fell. The old man had simply let it drop, before s.n.a.t.c.hing his hand away as if afraid of catching Hayden's toothache.

Hayden turned the box round and round. ”That's great,” he said, hardly daring to believe he had the miracle cure in his hands at last. ”Absolutely brilliant. How much do I owe you?” He took out his wallet and held it invitingly open.

The doctor, more animated and seemingly more nervous than before, scuttled forward and plucked out a few bills at random. Looking at what was left, Hayden realised he'd taken forty, fifty HK at most. The larger notes he'd withdrawn specially from the cash dispenser in the hotel lobby remained untouched. ”Here,” he urged, taking out one of the hundreds and waving it at him, ”that's for your trouble,” but the doctor wasn't having any. Backing away from Hayden, he jabbed a finger at the door and hit him with one last volley of croaky Yue dialect. Then he turned to the monster aquarium behind him. The consultation was at an end.

Slipping the cardboard box into his inside pocket, Hayden headed for the corridor. At the door he paused and tried to say goodbye: the old man turned impatiently around, lifted his face mask to reveal a flaccid maw lined with spiderish old-man's beard, and spat on the bare concrete floor at his feet. That seemed final enough: Hayden left him to his fis.h.i.+ng.

Jimmy was practically jogging on the spot with nervous excitement. ”Come on now! Time-to go!” Hayden had to hurry after him up the stairs and back outside. They barged down the alleyways to the main street, Hayden feeling oddly like a john might feel on being dismissed from some tart's parlour: surplus to requirements, something embarra.s.sing to be got out of the way before the next punter showed up. At the taxi rank, Jimmy shook his hand for an unnaturally long time before relieving him of some of the high-denomination notes the doctor had spurned earlier. Once in the cab, Hayden couldn't wait; hands trembling ever so slightly, he reached into his pocket for the box with the medicine in it.

”So,” said Dr. Pang, his face rigid in barely-concealed disapproval, ”you self-medicated with this black market treatment?”