Part 7 (1/2)

1/2 cup water 2 tablespoons olive oil Five strong flavors Blend well.

Yield: 3/4 cup of delicious dressing

Basic Formula for Delicious Nut or Seed Milk

1/2 cup any nuts or seeds, soaked in water overnight and drained 1 cup water 1 tablespoon sweetener (optional) Blend well and strain through a nut milk bag. For ”skim” milk use more water.

*Please see the recipe in Part 4 of this book.

*Food combining was first described in the early twentieth century by Dr. William Howard Hay. Its principles encourage separating specific foods, eating certain ones together, and only in specified meals.

Step 4

I LOVE YOU NO MATTER.

WHAT YOU EAT.

”A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink.”

-John Heywood, Proverbs Once at my workshop I asked my audience a question: ”What emotions do you feel when someone tells you what to do?”

Most of us have probably been given unsolicited advice countless times, beginning from childhood. Remember when you were a kid and your mom or your dad said, ”You're running around in the streets too much, you really need to read more books”? Try recalling how you felt in such a situation. Did you immediately feel drawn to books? Did you say, ”Oh, thank you, Dad, I'll go and read right now!”? Chances are you felt rebellious and resentful, and the last thing you wanted to do was pick up a book, sit down, and read. Or recall a time when a friend said to you something along the lines of, ”You need to start jogging. You're getting fat.” Or, ”You should cut off those awful dreadlocks.” Or, ”You really should stop smoking. You have children.” What was your reaction? Did these suggestions help you? Probably not. Following are some of my students' responses to other people's ”helpful suggestions.”

Nancy: I would breathe a little smile, but of course I wouldn't do it.

Mike: I'd get angry and resentful.

Dorothy: I would feel defensive, and I hate that feeling.

Bryan: I'd feel really sarcastic.

Jane: I would feel hurt, insulted, angry, and offended.

Whitney: I wouldn't do it, because it's not their choice. I'd have resistance.

George: I'd just smile and ignore.

Cynthia: I hate being forced and I'd have to start being dishonest.

Wendy: I want to please. I want to do what they ask me to do, but then I'll be secretive about it and be resentful.

Seth: I'd want to kill that person!

Carla: I would feel a wave of depression take a hold of me, probably for a long time.

Sam: When they think I should change something, I won't do it even if I know it's right, but I'll get mad that I know it's right and I'm not doing it.

Ryan: I would feel inferior and put down.

Linda: I would feel as if they were trying to control me and I would rebel.

As you may see, when someone tells us that he or she knows what is good for us, we tend to feel angry and upset. We feel annoyed, negative, and we shut them and their advice out. We feel attacked, hurt, and uncomfortable.

That is precisely how our friends and family would feel when we tried advising them to eat more raw food. Similarly, the announcement of a family member becoming a raw-fooder can be frightening news for the rest of the family. Cooked food is what most of us know and consider normal; it's what is expected in our culture. Do we really want those we love to feel rebellious, negative, shut off, controlled, or angry? This is exactly how they are likely to feel if we tell them one day, ”I'm going to be raw now, so don't eat that c.r.a.p in front of me! Just the look of it makes me sick!”

I recommend doing exactly the opposite. When you decide to become a raw-fooder, talk to your family. Explain to them, ”You know, darling, this is not about you. Eating raw food is the choice I am making for myself. I'm not asking you to eat raw food. It's really okay with me that you continue to eat your favorite steak. I love you the way you are. It's me who's trying to change. It's not about you. I don't expect you to follow me, to be interested, or even to try my food.” When you talk to your family in this manner, you may notice how they will sigh with relief.

Sometimes we may make those we love feel uncomfortable even without words. Some of us throw certain glances that convey the same meaning as the disapproving words. For example, a woman in one of my cla.s.ses said to me, ”My family is angry with my rawfoodism even though I never pushed anybody to eat raw food. My husband has been vegan for thirty years. My son is twelve. They always ask me to prepare cooked meals. When I cook food for them I go off my raw-food diet. I don't feel supported. My son makes all kinds of jokes about me having to eat my raw cake with a spoon.”

I said to her, ”You might be doing something that irritates them that you're not aware of. Just watch yourself, and catch those moments. Don't watch others. Watch and see what you are doing to antagonize your family.”

The next week she came to cla.s.s and said, ”Yeah. I caught myself several times poking little pins in certain painful places. I'd say something hurtful or look disgusted or put out. I changed my att.i.tude toward my family, and they, in turn, s.h.i.+fted towards me and it only took one week. When I started accepting them, then they accepted me back. Now my husband is making juice for me in the morning and even bringing it to me in bed. He says, 'Honey, I want you to stay on raw food.' Suddenly my house has become a peaceful place, and my son is willing to try everything I make.”

I am making my living by teaching raw-food cla.s.ses, and I have been on a 100% raw-food diet for many years. But twenty years ago when I was still eating a traditional diet, I had a friend who was a raw-foodist. I remember how annoyed I would get by his comments. Once, my older son Stephan was in the hospital with a minor surgery. My raw-food friend was critical about me allowing this to happen. Today, I feel embarra.s.sed when I recall how furious I was towards my friend for his advice. I wasn't ready then.

Another example is my friend Tina from Denver. She had a serious health problem. For many months she had to go to the hospital to undergo a procedure that was extremely painful for her. When we came to visit, she saw what Igor and I were eating and she became interested. She asked, ”Can you show me how to prepare this food? I'm willing to try because I have surgery (a colostomy) scheduled in two weeks which I would rather not do.” Within a matter of days, she started feeling better and avoided the surgery. Tina understood that for her, there were only two choices: raw food, no surgery, life and health; or cooked food, surgery, and eventually death. Tina chose life. At the time of our visit, Tina's four children were major junk-food eaters, and her husband enjoyed vodka, steak, pork chops, and pig's fat, which he used as if it were bologna. Tina did not tell her family that she was going raw. She kept cooking for them as she always had. She said, ”I'm going to keep it quiet.” I agreed with her and said, ”Don't even mention it to them. Don't irritate them. Let them just leave you alone. Tell your family that you don't expect them to do anything.” Tina didn't mention her diet change to them.

One year pa.s.sed. We were driving through Denver again and we stopped by. I saw Tina's husband, Sam, and he looked dramatically different. I said, ”Sam, what's happening? You've changed.” He replied with a grin, ”I became 100% raw one month ago. The children are raw, too.”

I was shocked. ”What happened?”