Part 5 (1/2)

He bit his lips with vexation, left the confectioner's, and resolved, quite contrary to his habit, neither to look nor smile at anyone on the street. Suddenly he halted as if rooted to the spot before a door, where something extraordinary happened. A carriage drew up at the entrance; the carriage door was opened, and a gentleman in uniform came out and hurried up the steps. How great was Kovaloff's terror and astonishment when he saw that it was his own nose!

At this extraordinary sight, everything seemed to turn round with him.

He felt as though he could hardly keep upright on his legs; but, though trembling all over as though with fever, he resolved to wait till the nose should return to the carriage. After about two minutes the nose actually came out again. It wore a gold-embroidered uniform with a stiff, high collar, trousers of chamois leather, and a sword hung at its side. The hat, adorned with a plume, showed that it held the rank of a state-councillor. It was obvious that it was paying ”duty-calls.” It looked round on both sides, called to the coachman ”Drive on,” and got into the carriage, which drove away.

Poor Kovaloff nearly lost his reason. He did not know what to think of this extraordinary procedure. And indeed how was it possible that the nose, which only yesterday he had on his face, and which could neither walk nor drive, should wear a uniform. He ran after the carriage, which fortunately had stopped a short way off before the Grand Bazar of Moscow. He hurried towards it and pressed through a crowd of beggar-women with their faces bound up, leaving only two openings for the eyes, over whom he had formerly so often made merry.

There were only a few people in front of the Bazar. Kovaloff was so agitated that he could decide on nothing, and looked for the nose everywhere. At last he saw it standing before a shop. It seemed half buried in its stiff collar, and was attentively inspecting the wares displayed.

”How can I get at it?” thought Kovaloff. ”Everything--the uniform, the hat, and so on--show that it is a state-councillor. How the deuce has that happened?”

He began to cough discreetly near it, but the nose paid him not the least attention.

”Honourable sir,” said Kovaloff at last, plucking up courage, ”honourable sir.”

”What do you want?” asked the nose, and turned round.

”It seems to me strange, most respected sir--you should know where you belong--and I find you all of a sudden--where? Judge yourself.”

”Pardon me, I do not understand what you are talking about. Explain yourself more distinctly.”

”How shall I make my meaning plainer to him?” Then plucking up fresh courage, he continued, ”Naturally--besides I am a Major. You must admit it is not befitting that I should go about without a nose. An old apple-woman on the Ascension Bridge may carry on her business without one, but since I am on the look out for a post; besides in many houses I am acquainted with ladies of high position--Madame Tchektyriev, wife of a state-councillor, and many others. So you see--I do not know, honourable sir, what you----” (here the Major shrugged his shoulders).

”Pardon me; if one regards the matter from the point of view of duty and honour--you will yourself understand----”

”I understand nothing,” answered the nose. ”I repeat, please explain yourself more distinctly.”

”Honourable sir,” said Kovaloff with dignity, ”I do not know how I am to understand your words. It seems to me the matter is as clear as possible. Or do you wish--but you are after all my own nose!”

The nose looked at the Major and wrinkled its forehead. ”There you are wrong, respected sir; I am myself. Besides, there can be no close relations between us. To judge by the b.u.t.tons of your uniform, you must be in quite a different department to mine.” So saying, the nose turned away.

Kovaloff was completely puzzled; he did not know what to do, and still less what to think. At this moment he heard the pleasant rustling of a lady's dress, and there approached an elderly lady wearing a quant.i.ty of lace, and by her side her graceful daughter in a white dress which set off her slender figure to advantage, and wearing a light straw hat.

Behind the ladies marched a tall lackey with long whiskers.

Kovaloff advanced a few steps, adjusted his cambric collar, arranged his seals which hung by a little gold chain, and with smiling face fixed his eyes on the graceful lady, who bowed lightly like a spring flower, and raised to her brow her little white hand with transparent fingers. He smiled still more when he spied under the brim of her hat her little round chin, and part of her cheek faintly tinted with rose-colour. But suddenly he sprang back as though he had been scorched. He remembered that he had nothing but an absolute blank in place of a nose, and tears started to his eyes. He turned round in order to tell the gentleman in uniform that he was only a state-councillor in appearance, but really a scoundrel and a rascal, and nothing else but his own nose; but the nose was no longer there. He had had time to go, doubtless in order to continue his visits.

His disappearance plunged Kovaloff into despair. He went back and stood for a moment under a colonnade, looking round him on all sides in hope of perceiving the nose somewhere. He remembered very well that it wore a hat with a plume in it and a gold-embroidered uniform; but he had not noticed the shape of the cloak, nor the colour of the carriages and the horses, nor even whether a lackey stood behind it, and, if so, what sort of livery he wore. Moreover, so many carriages were pa.s.sing that it would have been difficult to recognise one, and even if he had done so, there would have been no means of stopping it.

The day was fine and sunny. An immense crowd was pa.s.sing to and fro in the Neffsky Avenue; a variegated stream of ladies flowed along the pavement. There was his acquaintance, the Privy Councillor, whom he was accustomed to style ”General,” especially when strangers were present.

There was Iarygin, his intimate friend who always lost in the evenings at whist; and there another Major, who had obtained the rank of committee-man in the Caucasus, beckoned to him.

”Go to the deuce!” said Kovaloff _sotto voce_. ”Hi! coachman, drive me straight to the superintendent of police.” So saying, he got into a droshky and continued to shout all the time to the coachman ”Drive hard!”

”Is the police superintendent at home?” he asked on entering the front hall.

”No, sir,” answered the porter, ”he has just gone out.”

”Ah, just as I thought!”

”Yes,” continued the porter, ”he has only just gone out; if you had been a moment earlier you would perhaps have caught him.”