Part 23 (1/2)
K'eb was serving supper, and everyone was engaged in pleasant conversation. It struck Adesina how different it felt to be among this group of companions rather than when she had been among her fellow s.h.i.+. The friendly words hid no underlying hostility and the camaraderie felt between them was real.
L'iam went to sit by Ri'sel, and E'nes beckoned for Adesina to join him. K'eb filled two plates of fried potatoes and venison and brought them over to the newcomers. The conversations continued, only slightly more subdued.
Ravi was also sitting by E'nes, studying Adesina with his usual thoughtful expression. She took the chair that was offered to her. ”How was your hunt?”
Ravi smiled. ”It went well.”
She raised an eyebrow. ”You know, I have never seen you hunt before.”
”Well, I could not take you with me.”
The young s.h.i.+mat rolled her eyes. ”I mean, I have never even seen you leave to go hunt. I a.s.sumed that you did not need to eat.”
A faint frown crossed her guardian's face. ”That is ridiculous. Every living creature needs nourishment of some kind.”
”You are the one who said you were a figment of my imagination,” she said sarcastically.
E'nes chuckled at this exchange. ”I am glad to see that you have found someone new to torment, Ravi, now that my mother is gone.”
Adesina looked up from her plate in surprise. ”Mother?”
Her brother nodded. ”Yes. I told you that our family was good friends with Ravi's family.”
The Rashad had an affectionate look in his eyes. ”I never tormented E'rian. It was more of a battle of wits.”
”Why did you not tell me before?” Adesina asked Ravi.
”I said that I knew your mother.”
She shook her head in denial. ”You said that you knew she was a good and wise woman, which any stranger could observe or overhear. You never told me that you knew her well.”
He shrugged. ”It was not relevant at the time.”
Adesina was starting to feel angry. ”Not relevant? How can you say that after my Dreams?”
E'nes looked back and forth between Adesina and Ravi with a puzzled expression. ”Dreams? Adesina can Dream?”
She was too focused on Ravi to fully understand what her brother had said. It was a moment before she tore her gaze from her guardian and turned it to her brother. ”What?”
The room had unexpectedly fallen silent. Adesina glanced around to see that all the L'avan were staring at her again, with the same look of apprehension in their eyes.
L'iam leaned forward. ”Is it true, Adesina? Do you have the ability to Dream?”
The young woman clenched her jaw together, irritated that she was being stared at like an aberration.
Ravi was the one who ended up answering the question. ”Yes, she can.”
Adesina got to her feet, her chin held high. She looked each of the L'avan in the eye and then walked out of the room. She didn't stop until she was in the solitude of her bedroom. She shut and bolted the door, anxious to be left alone, then turned to face the window.
”Ma'eve?”
Ravi was standing next to the bed in the corner. Adesina didn't know how he had gotten into the room without her noticing, but did not question it. She was not in the mood for those kinds of questions.
”Did you see it, Ravi? Did you see the look in their eyes?”
His expression was kind as he moved to stand by her. ”What look, Ma'eve?”
”Like I am a freak of nature,” she spat.
”They are afraid,” he explained gently, ”because they do not understand.”
She sat down so she was at eye level with her guardian. ”Understand what? You said I was L'avan, and so did L'iam. Why am I still so different from them?”
His golden eyes were luminous, even in the fading light. ”You are L'avan, Ma'eve, but you did not grow up as such. Your life has been very different from theirs, so of course you are different as well.”
”I do not belong anywhere,” she said softly, the words falling on her like a blanket of despair.
He shook his head. ”Only if you choose to not belong.”
They sat in silence for several minutes before Adesina could trust that her voice was steady enough to not betray the strength of her emotion.
She had been an outsider her entire life because of her physical traits and her unusual skills. Even though she had worked harder than anyone, it was not enough to earn her a place among her s.h.i.+mat peers. Now she had found people who shared her abilities as well as her strange coloring, and she was still an outsider even to them.
It did not matter that she had been born one of them, because she had not been raised like one of them. And it did not matter that she had been raised a s.h.i.+mat, because she had not been born a s.h.i.+mat. No matter what she did or whom she was with, she was completely alone.
Adesina used anger to cover her voice, and snapped at the Rashad, ”Why can I do things that they cannot?”
Ravi, unmoved by her tone, thought about this for a while before answering. ”You received training in your youth that is radically different from anything that the L'avan receive. Due to this training, you have developed in ways that the L'avan thought impossible.”
It made sense in a way, but it didn't make Adesina feel any better. She walked over to the cot and laid down, draping her arm over her face. She was appalled to find tears welling up in her eyes.
Why was she crying?
Adesina couldn't understand. Yes, she was being judged and misunderstood, but this wasn't new. She had spent her whole life being judged by teachers and peers alike. Why should it bother her now?
She could only conclude that she was overly tired.
Ravi walked over and sat by the bed, leaning his head against her arm. He began singing softly in his rich, beautiful voice. Tears fell freely from Adesina's eyes, which remained covered by her arm.
When she had no more tears to cry, she finally found solace in sleep.
Chapter Twenty-three: New Lessons.
A soft knock on her door jerked Adesina out of sleep. Ravi was still sitting by her side, resting his head against her arm and humming quietly. A glance out the window told her that it was late morning. How had she slept so long?
She got out of bed and walked to the door, talking through it instead of opening it. ”Yes?”