Part 11 (1/2)
Karril snorted, then drained the chalice of its contents and cast it into the fountain; it disappeared before it hit the surface. ”I'm not a Locater, you know that. There are some in the town. Go to them.”
”I know what you are,” he said sharply. ”And I know how close you were to him. Close enough that I'd think you'd want to help if-” He couldn't finish the sentence. Dared not give the threat a name, for fear of making it real. ”I've tried every Working I know, consulted everyone I dared. You would think with the channel between us, a Locating would be easy, but ...” He shook his head. ”Nothing, Karril. Nothing! What do I do? How do I find him? You're my only hope.”
”Then I'm sorry.” He turned away. ”I can't help you.”
”He called you a friend.”
It seemed to him the demon winced. ”Did he?” he whispered. ”Shame on him. He was usually more careful with his choice of words.” His robes were black now, and the bright jewels were muted as if by smoke. ”I'm not a friend to him, or to anyone else. Not as humans know the word. Friends.h.i.+p implies a full range of emotions, a wide a.s.sortment of bonding criteria. Humans can do that. Iezu can't.” He looked at Damien; his expression was strained. ”All I am, my dear Reverend, is the hunger for pleasure that resides in your own soul, given a face and a voice and enough knowledge of etiquette to mimic human interaction. That's all. No love, no loyalty, only a ghost of self-interest in human guise. So you see,” he said, turning away again, ”you came to the wrong place.”
”He didn't believe that,” Damien challenged. ”And I'm not sure I do.”
”Oh?” The demon's voice was strained. ”Is the Church claiming a monopoly on demon lore, now?”
”You came to warn us about Calesta,” he reminded him. ”Was that self-interest? You said that you liked humankind, that its foibles ...” he struggled for the proper word, ”... amused amused you. Was that just hunger speaking? I don't think so.” He walked to where the demon stood and grabbed him by the shoulders, as he might any man; Karril's ”flesh” was comfortably solid, utterly human in temperature. you. Was that just hunger speaking? I don't think so.” He walked to where the demon stood and grabbed him by the shoulders, as he might any man; Karril's ”flesh” was comfortably solid, utterly human in temperature. ”You saved Ciani's life. ”You saved Ciani's life. ” He forced the demon to turn toward him, forced him to meet his eyes. ”I don't remember all the details of that incident, but I seem to remember you saying it wasn't easy. You could barely stand the pain of it, I recall. Was that hunger that drove you then? Or was it something else? Maybe a more human emotion.” ” He forced the demon to turn toward him, forced him to meet his eyes. ”I don't remember all the details of that incident, but I seem to remember you saying it wasn't easy. You could barely stand the pain of it, I recall. Was that hunger that drove you then? Or was it something else? Maybe a more human emotion.”
For a long moment Karril was silent. At last he pulled himself loose from Damien's grasp, and turned away; the priest let him go.
”He knew the risk all those years ago.” Was that pain in his voice, or some demonic emotion? ”Knew it and accepted it. Let him go, Reverend Vryce. He made his own fate. You make yours.”
”Where is he?”
For a long time Karril was silent. Damien waited him out, though his hands were shaking from impatience. At last the demon said, in a voice that was little more than a whisper, ”Where Gerald Tarrant has gone, no living man can follow.”
Damien breathed in sharply. ”Where?”
”To be judged.” As the demon turned back to him, Damien saw that now even his jewelry was black. ”By those whom he feared the most.”
”The Unnamed?”
He hesitated only a moment, then nodded. ”There's nothing you can do, Reverend Vryce. You have to believe that. His own word gives them the power to judge him, his own blood makes him vulnerable....”
”How do I get there?” he demanded. His heart was like ice as he heard his own words, as he felt the power of his own commitment. ”Tell me!”
The demon shut his eyes as if in pain. ”Through the nightmare of his own fears. That's the only path left, now that he's in their hands. But no fleshborn being can travel that road safely. Even my kind-”
He stopped, but not soon enough.
”You can go there.”
He hesitated.
”Karril. Please.” Please.”
”I can go there,” he admitted. ”I can also die there. I'm not willing to risk that.”
”Gerald told me that no Iezu has ever died.”
”Because we don't take chances! Because we're selfish spirits, who trade illusions for food in our neat little houses and mind our own business when meaner demons come calling!”
”Is that what Calesta's doing?” he demanded. ”Minding his own business?”
The demon winced. ”I don't ... leave him out of this.”
”He can't be out of it! He's part and parcel of this whole mess, and you know it!” He took a step closer to the demon, into what would have been his personal territory had he been truly human. ”Or don't you care if he has his way? Don't you care if the whole human species is remade to suit his taste, bred and winnowed like animals until all they can do is eat and sleep and suffer. suffer. Is that what you want, Karril? Is that what any of the Iezu want? Where will you find your wors.h.i.+pers then?” Is that what you want, Karril? Is that what any of the Iezu want? Where will you find your wors.h.i.+pers then?”
”I'll survive,” he muttered. ”But some of the others ...” He shook his head and whispered hoa.r.s.ely, ”I can't get involved. It's simply not allowed. The penalty-”
”Is worse than what I just described?” he demanded. ”All right, so I was wrong. Maybe you and Calesta aren't so different after all.” He made his tone as venomous as he could, hoping scorn might stir the demon where loyalty and compa.s.sion had failed. ”Sorry to have bothered you.”
A shudder seemed to pa.s.s through the demon's body. ”That way is pain, and worse,” he whispered. His voice was strained, barely audible. ”Don't you understand? I couldn't endure it. Even if I wanted to, even if I were willing to risk her her displeasure ... I'm not human. I can't absorb emotions which run counter to my aspect. No Iezu could survive such an a.s.sault.” displeasure ... I'm not human. I can't absorb emotions which run counter to my aspect. No Iezu could survive such an a.s.sault.”
”So I'll m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e for you,” he said harshly. ”Is that good enough? In the midst of Tarrant's nightmares I'll dream acts of pleasure, so you can stay on your feet. h.e.l.l, it worked for him, it should d.a.m.n well work for you.”
The demon turned away. ”I'm not human,” he whispered. The hanging tapestries had all turned black; even the wine in the fountain was dark. ”The rules for us are ... different.”
”Yeah. I guess so.” Rage and despair churned in his gut at the thought of this, too, being a dead end. Where else was there to turn? He forced himself to turn away, while adding bitterly, ”Sorry to bother you.”
He began to walk away from the demon, a.s.suming the illusion surrounding him would fade when he tried to leave. It didn't.
”Even if you survived the journey,” Karril pressed, ”what would you do once you got there? Do battle with the Unnamed? Try to reason with it? It's too powerful for the former, and far too unstable for the latter. And it might make things even worse for Gerald Tarrant, that a man of your stature cared enough to try to save him. Have you thought about that?”
”I've thought about everything,” he said sharply. ”Most of all about what this world will be like if Calesta goes unopposed, and how little chance I have of stopping him without Tarrant's help. As for the rest ...” He shrugged stiffly; despair was a cold knot within him. ”I guess it doesn't matter much, does it?” And he snapped, ”Hope the new order works out for you.”
He turned to leave then, and the tapestries did fade. The amorous couples were visible once more, but thinly, like ghosts. The half-clad priests and priestesses fluttered like wraiths about the borders of his vision.
”Reverend Vryce.”
He didn't turn back, but he did stop walking. The entire room seemed frozen in time, as if the very walls were waiting.
”True night falls for an hour tomorrow.” The demon's voice was low and even; there was only the faintest tremor of fear in it. ”Eat well and drink well before that, and rest with a pitcher of water by your side. In a secure room,” he added quickly, ”so that no one disturbs your flesh.” He whispered, ”It can't make the journey.”
And then the tapestries were gone and the demon also, and the warm smell of the temple filled his nostrils and his head. ”Can I help you?” a priestess asked, approaching him. He shook his head and waved her away. His legs felt weak beneath him. What had just happened? Did Karril mean to help him, or merely point him on his way and say good-bye? Either way- Either way I have to go, he thought grimly. go, he thought grimly. Because there is no other option. May G.o.d have mercy on my soul. Because there is no other option. May G.o.d have mercy on my soul.