Part 12 (1/2)
”To be sure. How the women stared at him! I couldn't blame them; his waist isn't over thirty, and he's as handsome as--as I was at his age. I told him he could have all the loveliness in New York at his feet, if he liked.”
Weil smiled significantly at Gouger.
”What did he reply to that?” he asked.
”Oh, he had an ideal in his head, and none of those we saw quite came up to it; for I did get him to raise his eyes and look at the prettiest ones. I drew out of him slowly that he would have nothing to do with a girl unless she had red hair; that--”
Mr. Weil uttered a laugh so hearty that it attracted the attention of everybody in the room. Mr. Boggs paused to inquire the cause of this outbreak, but Archie a.s.sured him that something entirely out of the present discussion had just occurred to him, which was to blame for his impoliteness.
”A girl must have _t.i.tian_ hair,” repeated Mr. Boggs, accepting the explanation, ”or he would not consider her. He ruled out all the striking blondes and brunettes, saying that he liked only those of a medium shade. We came across one that answered these descriptions, an exquisite little creature who looked as if she would swallow him could she get the chance. And then there came out another idea. He would not think of this fairy because she was so short. 'I want a woman five feet, four inches tall,' he said, as if the article could be made to order, in case the size did not happen to be in stock. Then, would you believe it, he found a girl embracing every attribute he had mentioned. Her hair was just the right shade, her height must have hit the mark exactly, her complexion was medium. But no. She was too heavy. She would weigh a hundred and forty-five, he said, quite twenty pounds too much. If we had found a girl that filled all his description he would have invented something new to bar her out of the race.”
Mr. Weil remarked that he was not so sure of Roseleaf's insincerity. He believed the right woman would yet be discovered, and that a case of the most intense affection would then spontaneously develop.
”In fact,” he added, ”I have the identical creature in mind. It is clear to us--to myself and Mr. Gouger here--that s.h.i.+rley will never write a thrilling romance till he has fallen wildly, pa.s.sionately in love.”
Mr. Boggs smiled slightly, and then sobered again.
”Shall you have him marry, also?” he inquired, pointedly.
”Why not?”
”Because it will finish him; that's why. The romance in a modern marriage lasts six weeks. At the end of that time he will be useless for literary purposes, or anything else.”
Mr. Weil shook his head in opposition to this rash statement.
”My theory is,” said he, ”that a novelist should know everything. To write of love he should have been in love; to tell of marriage he should have had a wife--a real one, no mere imitation; to talk of fatherhood intelligently he should become a father. How can he know his subjects otherwise?”
The stout man smiled significantly.
”And if he wishes to write of murder, he must kill some one. And if he wants to depict the sensations of a robber he must take a pistol and ask people to stand, on the highway.”
”Now you are becoming absurd,” said Archie.
”No more than you,” said Boggs. ”You go too far, and you will find it out. Let your novelist fall in love. That will do him good. But don't let him marry, or you will lose him, mark my word. Let him contemplate matrimony at a distance. Let him reflect on the glory of seeing his children about his knees. So far, so good. But when you have shelved him with a wife of the present era, when you have kept him up nights for a month with a baby that screams--his literary capacity will be gone. Make no mistake!”
Mr. Weil, half convinced, and much surprised to hear such wisdom from this unexpected source, made an effort to maintain his ground.
”Nearly all the modern novelists _are_ married,” he remarked.
”Yes, and nice stuff they write, don't they? Namby-pamby, silly-billy stories, misleading in every line! They are the most unsafe pilots on the sh.o.r.es of human life. They start, without exception, from false premises. Their chart is wrong, their compa.s.s unreliable, their reckoning ridiculous from beginning to end. Where did you ever see a bit of real life that resembled these abortions? Do lovers usually fall on their knees when they propose? Is the modern girl an idiot, knowing less of the facts of nature than an oyster? Is the conversation between men and women filled exclusively with twaddle? You would think so, from reading these books; and why? They are written by married people, most of them, people who don't dare step over the line of the commonplace any more than a woman would dare order her dressmaker to put pockets in her gown!”
Archie looked at Mr. Gouger, who nodded a partial approval of these statements. Mr. Boggs betook himself with more interest to his chops.
And the other two gentlemen, remarking that time pressed, bade him good-by for the day.
”I see you agree with him that I shouldn't marry Roseleaf?” said Archie, with a rising inflection.
”There is certainly point in what he says,” replied Mr. Gouger.
”But--confound it! With the boy's disposition, it will be a delicate business,” retorted Weil. ”I don't know as I can carry him to the point of pa.s.sionate love for pretty Miss Fern, and then shut off the steam when it suits me.”