Part 31 (2/2)

'Sorry,' he said. 'After the poo sandwich...'

Abigail giggled.

'Roo, can I borrow you for a minute?' said Di, barging into the room.

'Sure.' I excused myself and closed the door behind me. 'What's up?'

'What do you know about social networking sites? How permanent are things once they're on there?'

'As permanent as black shoe polish on white carpet. Why?'

'Gary Spinnaker is running the only negative angle he can find on the launch. Abigail said something online this morning. Apparently her friend posted something like, ”How come you're not at sports day Abs?” She replied, ”Dad's making some boring speech and Mum said I have to go.”'

'That seems harmless enough.'

'Wrong,' said Di. 'All the happy, clapping pictures of Abigail next to Sh.e.l.ly today will look fake in tomorrow's papers. And the wowsers out there will say she should have been in school.'

'Firstly, she's just turned thirteen, so of course she acts cool with her friends. I would have eleven nose piercings and an eating disorder if I was thirteen and my father was Opposition leader.' I shuddered at a flashback of my father making a speech at my school careers fair ent.i.tled 'The Merits of Banking', which became known as 'The Merits of w.a.n.king'. 'Secondly, every parent can relate to pulling their children out of school for an aunt's wedding, a sibling's graduation, a holiday.'

'Roo! We need to fix this. The LOO can't do much without belittling Abigail, which he would never do. Abigail can't exactly retract because it'll look forced. The PM hasn't had her campaign launch yet. She might decide to leave her kids in school to make a point, then this becomes an issue about parenting...Hi, Sh.e.l.ly.'

Di and I stared at our shoes.

'What becomes an issue about parenting?' Sh.e.l.ly moved closer.

'Would you mind if I talked to Max about it first?' pleaded Di.

'Yes,' she said, 'I would.'

'Can we perhaps talk to you both at once?'

'If you must. Max, can you come out here for a minute, darling?'

He was utterly exhausted. It seemed unfair to give him this news.

'What's up?'

When Di explained, they laughed before realising what it could mean for their daughter: unnecessary public exposure. Max flopped onto a chair. The adrenaline crutch that had been holding him upright gave way. He was too tired to think. Sh.e.l.ly stood next to the window. Outside, Melbourne was grey and stormy.

'Let me talk to Spinnaker.' Sh.e.l.ly unfolded her arms. 'Give me his number. I'll call him.'

'With respect, Sh.e.l.ly, I'd need to know what you were going to say,' said Di.

'I'm going to remind him that she's thirteen years old, just a year older than his son, the one he told me about at Christmas drinks.'

Di pondered it. 'But if Spinnaker doesn't write it, someone else will.'

'I'll talk to them, too.'

'I think you should make light of it,' I said. 'Max is lucky to have such a savvy critic in the family. This time, she says, her grandfather made the better speech.'

'Yeah.' Di closed her eyes to capture her thoughts. 'How about you say something like, ”Max and I consider ourselves lucky to have such an honest and savvy critic in the family. We encourage her to have her own opinion on things and are immensely proud of her.” If Spinnaker presses you on why you took her out of school for the event, tell him you made the decision to pull Abigail out of sports day for the same reason his wife pulled his kids out of school to attend the Walkleys.'

'I'd do it again in a heartbeat,' said Sh.e.l.ly.

'We might need to keep a bit of an eye on what she says online in future,' said Di.

'Let her be,' said Max through closed eyes. 'I wouldn't be where I am today if Mum and Dad had told me to shut up when I was a kid, and that's what I'll say if anyone asks me about it.'

'Come on, love,' said Sh.e.l.ly, 'let's get you home for a nap.' She helped him to his feet and led him to the door.

'Thanks, guys,' he yawned.

'I'll text you Spinnaker's number and let him know to expect your call, Sh.e.l.ly,' said Di.

'Ta,' said Sh.e.l.ly.

'You're not bad at this, you know, Roo,' said Di, before her phone rang. 'G'day Gary, I was just about to call.'

A dish best served with mini-pies.

Archie's final contribution to the campaign shaved two whole points off us in that Sat.u.r.day's Southpoll, dampening Max's post-launch high. The two-party-preferred count put us at fifty-one to Brennan's forty-nine, giving her the perfect underdog status with which to start the final week of the campaign. With the finish line in sight, Max and Sh.e.l.ly found new energy. We spent the weekend visiting key marginal seats like Donaldson in Tasmania to sh.o.r.e up support. Now, in our seventh city in four days, Max read his brief as I sponged oily make-up onto his sweaty face.

'Do I really need that?'

My head was unkind. With those eye bags and crow's feet, he could probably audition for the before shot in a Botox commercial. The polls open in less than four days.

'We just need to make sure your face isn't too s.h.i.+ny for the cameras.'

'I'm at a defence base in Woop Woop,' he said. 'It's thirty-four degrees. If I wasn't s.h.i.+ny I wouldn't be human.'

'Isn't Woop Woop in Tasmania?'

His laughter made my hand slip, printing a lightning bolt of concealer across his forehead.

'Keep still. You look like Harry Potter.'

'Woop Woop is a generic description of somewhere a long way from anywhere.'

Oh.

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