Part 14 (1/2)

'This morning's biggest news is the fallout from Patton's demise, with a whole bunch of Brennan's moles coming out of the woodwork claiming credit for getting rid of Patton. They're being called ”Brennan's Brutus Brigade”, and the Herald reckons her honeymoon is the shortest in history. Spinnaker gave us a good run on our SME policy.'

'Roo must've laced his Big Mac with an upper,' said Di on speakerphone. She was at the airport waiting to board the media jet.

'I want you all to be prepared for tomorrow's Southpoll,' said Luke. Today's tie looked like metallic seeded mustard. 'Who knows how it'll pan out, but it could be dire. Our own pollsters are telling us that things aren't as rosy as they should be for a new PM, but her novelty will definitely count for something. We stand to lose a few points and we'll need to get to the end of Week One looking relaxed and steady but ready to govern.'

As he talked, I drafted a new To Do list on my BlackBerry.

1. Ask Di about how polls work 2. Put coffee-stained clothes in hotel laundry bag 3. Ask Di who pays for Item 2 4. Confirm visa 5. Sign contract for negligible remuneration 6. Confirm details of Perth event with Maddy 7. Call parents.

The best and worst thing about Perth was that it was so far away from the east coast. Best because it gave Maddy an additional six hours to arrange the event; worst because I was rendered useless for the entire duration of the flight. My BlackBerry sat on my lap like a temptress, tantalising but totally untouchable thanks to the strict 'flight mode only' policy on board the BBJ. The only productive thing I could do was to work with Theo on Max's speaking notes to add a little colour about Patch Radio.

I asked him for a copy.

'I don't have one,' said Theo.

'Do you know who does?'

'No, but if you find one can you let me know so I can stop writing it?'

It was too early to be messed with. 'Are you saying you haven't even written a first draft?' I demanded, surprised by my own tone.

Theo rubbed his greasy gla.s.ses on his tie. 'I'll tell you what: how about I show you what I've written so far and if you've got any feedback just let me know.'

He unbuckled himself and stood up, leaving me with the Word doc.u.ment open on his screen. I handed him my cleaning cloth. 'Which doc.u.ment is it?' I scrolled up and down the page to find the text, but there was none. 'This is quite an elaborate joke to play for someone who has an entire speech to write in five hours.'

'Thanks.' He handed back my cloth. 'Now, will you leave me alone so I can get some work done?'

He might have had the appearance of a golf-loving retiree from Bournemouth who considers Burger King in Ibiza an exotic dining experience, but Theo was as big an oddball as I'd ever come across.

I returned to my seat, rested my eyes for a minute and opened them four hours later.

'You snore,' said Theo.

'You're rude,' I said, mopping up the crusted drool in the corner of my mouth.

'Can you have a read of this speech? It needs a bit of...I don't know. Just read it.' He thrust his laptop onto my tray table, took the newspaper on my lap and went to the toilet. I tried not to think about it.

As I read the speech, I could hear Max giving it. The rhythm matched his style of delivery. It captured the spirit of Patch Radio, the policy's purpose and Max's belief in community service. Annoyingly, there was nothing for me to add but praise.

The toilet flushed and Theo returned to his seat, handing me my newspaper.

'Keep it,' I said.

'Thank you. See what I mean about the speech?'

'I think it reads beautifully.'

'Surely you've got something to say about it.'

I shook my head. He s.n.a.t.c.hed back his laptop and stomped off.

As I searched my mind for something worthwhile to contribute to the speech, Sh.e.l.ly came to sit with me. She looked far more energetic than the rest of us-this was her first day on the campaign trail.

'So you were an investment banker,' she said. 'So was I.'

Until then, I had been labouring under the misapprehension that the Leader of the Opposition's wife probably didn't do much else. Not once had I thought she might have an independent career, and I hated myself for it.

Talk shop, Ruby, said my head.

'Corporate finance?'

'Securities. Commodities, mainly.'

'Why did you stop?'

'Max became Shadow Minister for Resources and Energy, so I took a break. It's good to be around while Abigail is at school.'

'Do you miss it?'

Don't pry, Ruby, said my head.

Sh.e.l.ly nodded. 'I loved it. It made me tick.' She fiddled with her gold wedding band and extended her slender, manicured fingers to examine it. 'If you were a journo I'd tell you I didn't and that I'm honoured to be supporting Max in this very important role. But in truth, it s.h.i.+ts me to tears that I can't do both.'

'Why can't you?' I backtracked. 'Sorry, you don't have to talk about this, of course. I'm just interested in how it works.'

She smiled. 'There are no hard and fast rules, but if there's a public perception of conflict, we err on the safe side. In reality, as a shadow minister or even as LOO, Max never made any decisions that would affect my work or vice versa, but because the perception could have been used against us both, we decided to choose between careers.' She leaned in so close I could smell her shampoo. 'Great email, by the way,' she whispered.

'Which email?'

'One of my old banking buddies forwarded it to me. You should be proud.'

Don't encourage her, my head begged.

I flushed red and buckled for landing. 'Does anyone else-'

'I haven't told a soul.'

That's when it occurred to me. 'Theo,' I called. He couldn't hear me. 'Theo!'

'What?' he asked, still annoyed.

'You didn't say why this policy makes us different.'

He stared at the ceiling, then pulled out his laptop, which was supposed to have been stowed for landing, and tapped furiously at his keyboard until the flight attendant confiscated it.

That afternoon at the hospital in Perth, one of the radio hosts led Max, Sh.e.l.ly and a cohort of cameras through a brightly coloured ward. Maddy was in her element. She had spoken beforehand to the Health Department and a group of patients' parents to seek their permission to film. Everyone was thrilled to be meeting Max and Sh.e.l.ly.